I Just Don’t Wanna Write or Read About Sex
Although I’ve had a lot of it in my life
I just finished reading an eye popping memoir by Jenifer Lewis called The Mother of Black Hollywood. It was riveting and well written. It had tons of sex in it — not just a little, but a whoooole lot. Damn!
Sexuality was a large part of her life, and her story narrative, so of course she had to include it in her memoir. For instance, she admitted to having a serious sex addiction along with Bipolar and other mental issues during her years starring in Broadway shows.
I’m amazed she got any acting done!
Like most memoirs, there was a redemption at the end of the book. She got into Recovery and is living quite nicely now — thankyaverymuch! She is starring on the TV sitcom black-ish.
So, all is good.
I can understand why it was voted Book of the Year. If you like the memoir genre this is a goodie. Lots of life lessons and takeaways plus it‘s a wild rollercoaster ride of a read.
I believe there is a place for sex in memoir, for sure, but, in my case I don’t think it’s necessary because …well, — my sex life wasn’t ALL THAT interesting.
The main reason I’m not writing much about sex in my memoir is that it doesn’t move my narrative forward.
“As you’re writing a scene you should ask yourself, “Why is this scene here?” If you can’t answer that question — then it almost certainly shouldn’t be in your book.” — Brooke Warner, National Association of Memoir Writers
I’ve read so many books on ‘how to write memoir’. I’ve heard that every chapter of a memoir should move the story forward, not just be thrown in for ‘titillation’. OK. I couldn’t help myself!
I admit that back in my heyday I had a wee bit of a sex compulsion (once when I was newly married and once after my divorce) but, I’m not sure it’s relevant or interesting enough to give it much space in my memoir.
OK, I did get caught in a parking lot of the Hilton Hotel in Las Vegas back in my singing days. We were half dressed in broad daylight when the cops knocked on our window: “YOU TWO PULL YOUR PANTS UP!! It’s 11 in the MORNING!” We quickly dressed.
I’m sure we’ve all had THAT happen once or twice.
So, yea I’ve had some wild and crazy sex, but, my memoir will do just fine without much mention of my sexcapades.
Speaking of sex — when I see sex topics in my Medium feed I normally pass them by. WHY? Because, I have zero interest in other peoples sex lives. I’m sure there are some interesting riveting and well written stories but hey, I’m old-er now and I’ve heard it all, so, I don’t choose to spend my precious time on that stuff. I only have limited time in my day.
I’d prefer to read and write about other topics on Medium like:
Personal growth Mental health Creativity and creative energy Humor/Comedy pieces Social Issues Aging Spirituality and mindfulness Poetry
I’m just more attracted to these kinds of topics.
Sex stories? Nah, I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt (in every position) — and to be honest, I’m bored with it.)
So, NO , my upcoming memoir wont be chock-full of sex scenes.
I still think it will be a good read though.
THANKS FOR READING! Contact me at: [email protected]
Michelle Monet has published 5 non-fiction books including 4 Poetic Memoirs. Her upcoming Memoir is about her life in show business. She is also writing a Broadway style Musical based on her life story.
