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t again. Hell, the world even. It’s not looking good on a galactic level.</li><li>And of course: Get some gas from Russia. It’s called smart investment.</li><li>Not to forget: Get rid of vaccines.</li><li>And finally, illegalize abortions. <i>Duh</i></li></ol><p id="3d3c">Oh, wait, we’re already there. Nevermind then. How about banning birth control next? That’s just logical, right?</p><p id="305a"><a href="https://readmedium.com/more-women-than-men-want-to-make-abortion-illegal-c8c4187f23bc">Did you know more women were opposed to abortions than men?</a></p><p id="8df7">You didn’t?</p><p id="e6f5">Well, <a href="https://news.gallup.com/poll/245618/abortion-trends-gender.aspx">It’s true</a>. If that doesn’t prove a point. Whatever that point may be…</p><p id="9aca">Also, why do women have a say in this, anyway? Men have successfully made all the decisions for their female partners throughout history. <i>I don’t see issues with that.</i></p><p id="f4e6">It all went downhill when feminism became a thing, really. Abortions are just the icing on the cake.</p><p id="46fe">Like cake. Don’t like abortions.</p><p id="f8d1">Peace out ✌️</p><p id="f08e"><i>In case you didn’t realize it soon enough, that was sarcasm. The only truthful thing here is that I’m a man. And oftentimes, I’m already sorry for that.</i></p><p id="bda4"><i>If men think it’s their right to make decisions about women’s bodies, we might as well give women the right to castrate men.</i></p><p id="1174"><i>You know. Eye for an eye. Or in this case, an egg for two balls.</i></p><div id="759f"><pre>P.S.: First, you should <span class="hljs-keyword">get</span> my posts <span class="hljs-keyword">in</span> your inbox. <span class="hljs-keyword">Do</span> that here! Secondly, <span class="hljs-keyword">if</span> you <span class="hljs-keyword">like</span> <span class="hljs-keyword">to</span> experience Medium yourself, consider supporting me <span class="hljs-keyword">and</span> thousands <span class="hljs-keyword">of</span> other writers <span class="hljs-keyword">by</span> signing up <span class="hljs-keyword">for</span> a membership. It <span class="hljs-keyword">only</span> <span class="hljs-keyword">costs</span> <span class="hljs-meta">$5</span> per

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Satire

I Hate Abortions

Obviously

Photo by Manny Becerra on Unsplash

Goes without saying. I’ll say it anyway.

Why would anybody want an abortion?

I am a man. I exactly know what you gals are going through when you’re thinking about an abortion. Obviously.

Men know everything. Better.

Abortions… Crazy women.

I blame this young, reckless generation of godless lost souls. Otherwise known as millennials and zoomers. You know. Generations Y and Z.

You should be ashamed of yourselves. Fighting for abortions, inventing new genders, turning grammatical pronouns into ridicule. That’s just wrong.

You want to be our future leaders? No wonder, the world is going to hell.

You’re probably all democrats, too… Go figure.

The only people worse than democrats are flat-earthers. Have you talked to a flat-earther before?

I tried arguing with one once. He said he’d walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.

“He’ll eventually come around.”

Back to the democratic pro-choice weirdos.

Here’s what any rational man would do:

  1. Not get an abortion. (For his woman).
  2. Secondly, build a wall, of course. No matter the problem, this always helps.
  3. Thirdly, put women back in their place. Kitchen, bedroom, nursery. That’s plenty.
  4. Also, sell more guns. Not exactly the point here, but it’s a no-brainer. Who in their right mind wouldn’t want a gun? Stupid.
  5. Next: Make America great again. Hell, the world even. It’s not looking good on a galactic level.
  6. And of course: Get some gas from Russia. It’s called smart investment.
  7. Not to forget: Get rid of vaccines.
  8. And finally, illegalize abortions. Duh

Oh, wait, we’re already there. Nevermind then. How about banning birth control next? That’s just logical, right?

Did you know more women were opposed to abortions than men?

You didn’t?

Well, It’s true. If that doesn’t prove a point. Whatever that point may be…

Also, why do women have a say in this, anyway? Men have successfully made all the decisions for their female partners throughout history. I don’t see issues with that.

It all went downhill when feminism became a thing, really. Abortions are just the icing on the cake.

Like cake. Don’t like abortions.

Peace out ✌️

In case you didn’t realize it soon enough, that was sarcasm. The only truthful thing here is that I’m a man. And oftentimes, I’m already sorry for that.

If men think it’s their right to make decisions about women’s bodies, we might as well give women the right to castrate men.

You know. Eye for an eye. Or in this case, an egg for two balls.

P.S.: First, you should get my posts in your inbox. Do that here! Secondly, if you like to experience Medium yourself, consider supporting me and thousands of other writers by signing up for a membership. It only costs $5 per month, and you have the chance to make money with your writing as well. When I started, I made $3000 in 6 months. By signing up with this link, you’ll support me directly with a portion of your fee, it won’t cost you more. If you do so, thank you a million times! Lastly, I create freebies all the time. Subscribe for more.
Politics
Humor
Abortion
Feminism
Human Rights
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