I Had My First PIV Orgasm at 36 Years Old
It took the right partner to make it happen
Until very recently, no one has ever been able to make me climax through PIV (penis in vagina) sex. And I’ve never even been able to give myself a vaginal orgasm while I masturbated — try as I might.
As a 36-year-old woman who has shared intimacy with multiple partners over the past 20 years, I had long since written off having an orgasm through vaginal stimulation. I knew some women could do it, and even more women couldn’t. And I knew that our Hollywood sex culture made it seem way more commonplace and easy to come by (pun intended) than it actually was.
That didn’t stop me from enjoying the sensation of penetrative sex. I always have. I love the intimacy and connection of it, and the sensation has always felt really good when I’m aroused.
Then I found an incredible partner. Not only my Dominant, but my romantic partner as well. Someone I fell deeply in love with. Someone who makes me laugh harder than anyone. Someone who makes me orgasm harder than anyone, apparently.
I found a partner I’m fiercely attracted to, both physically and mentally. And he just so happens to be a highly intelligent student of my pleasure — dedicated to thoroughly learning my body and exploring every part of me with his mouth, fingers, cock, and toys.
After two marriages that lasted 4 and 15 years, I found someone who takes the time and effort to really figure out what gives me the most pleasure and sexual fulfillment.
We’d been having sex for a few months when he gave me a vaginal orgasm for the very first time, and he’s been able to do it since.
And let me tell you — it rocks my world.
He took the time to learn my body — and my mind
How did it happen? How was I able to experience an exhilarating and new type of orgasm that I’d never been able to make happen by myself, with sex toys, or with other partners during my 20-plus years of sexual activity?
It’s because it had always been possible, but it took finding a partner who enjoyed thoroughly learning my body inside and out. And the science of an orgasm — particularly for me — isn’t just physical. He also learned how best to connect with me mentally and emotionally while stimulating me physically.
All at the same time.
More than anyone I’ve ever been with, he explored me from head to toe and tried different things to see what I liked. He took a self-taught course on my body and mind, carefully studying and experimenting with the various things he could do to bring me pleasure.
This included kissing my mouth as well as every inch of my body, spending lots (and I mean lots) of time on nipple stimulation with his tongue and fingers, and stroking my clit and inside my vagina at different intensities and speeds with his fingers and cock. Also, talking dirty, making eye contact, choking, hair-pulling. The list goes on, my friends.
Another crucial element he excels at? Reading my reactions.
You have to pay close attention to how your partner responds to what you’re doing in bed. This can be listening to vocal cues and when they shift — like more intense moaning or breathing. Or watching facial expressions or body twitches. Or just plain asking “Do you like that?” or “Does that feel good/better than before?”
No matter how you make your partner climax, this is a vital step to helping them get there.
Skillful fingers
By this point, my enthusiastic student had been studying me for months. We’d been having sex multiple days a week, and on those days, multiple times at night and the next morning.
We were having fun doing everything. Oral, PIV, toys, and hand stuff. He stimulated different spots in my vagina with his fingers, enjoying how my breathing increased or my hips did a little jump whenever he discovered a sensitive area — of which my vagina has a few, I’ve learned.
This was all while kissing my lips, my neck, and my breasts. He also spent a long time licking and sucking my very sensitive nipples, which seem to carry a direct line to my vulva.
The first night it happened, he used two fingers and stroked inside me — for the better part of an hour— and talked me through it.
I’ve also learned that hearing the right words in the right tone are a huge help in getting me to orgasm. I love his voice in my ear when we’re intimate, and he says all kinds of things that come naturally to him while we’re connecting. He says he loves me, tells me how good my pussy feels, that he loves how wet I am, that I’m such a good girl, etc. (we’ve both discovered I have quite the praise kink).
When I went from feeling really good to feeling like I was getting close to an orgasm, I couldn’t comprehend it. It was like my mind detached for a moment and floated above me. Who was this woman, and how on earth was she about to come without her clit being the star of the show?
I communicated what was happening to my body as it happened, and he kept doing exactly what he’d been doing with his hand — not changing the speed or pressure of his strokes, but keeping a consistent rhythm.
And then, eventually, I came. From the inside. It was a completely new and different feeling — deeper inside my core than anything I’d felt before. I was in awe for hours.
Once my breathing calmed, once he helped guide me back to reality through lingering kisses and soft, encouraging words, we talked about the new occurrence and how sexually compatible we were.
He decided that if he could do that with two fingers, he could probably do it with his cock.
And I believed him.
It happened during missionary sex
That’s right. My first PIV orgasm was from plain old missionary — with him on top of me.
I say “plain” ironically. As kinky as I can be, there’s just something about the eye contact and intimate connection of missionary that makes it my absolute favorite position.
I think there’s an advantage to using fingers, as you can pinpoint sensitive areas and play in various ways with multiple digits. So, I wasn’t sure it was something that could be replicated during missionary sex.
But, to my utter astonishment, we managed to make it happen.
During that particularly intense lovemaking session, every part of me was alive and aroused — buzzing and crackling and vibrating. He made my whole body sing, and eventually, I felt that familiar wave of tension building as he thrust in and out of me.
The tightening started at my core and moved outward. Down my thighs and calves and into my toes. Up my spine and into my neck and arms and fingertips. My eyelashes seemed to be able to feel it.
Until it became this unstoppable force. At some point, I suddenly knew I was going to orgasm.
But how did it happen exactly? What made me able to climax from missionary sex and no extra clitoral stimulation, when I’d never been able to do it with another partner or even while masturbating?
We connected deeply. It was a mental, emotional, and physical connection. We communicated through both words and body language. He looked in my eyes and told me everything he wants from me. Everything he wants for me. He loved me authentically, and nothing felt exaggerated or forced.
He took his time getting me hyper-aroused during foreplay. He spent so much time turning me on that kissing him felt exquisite. His tongue mingled with mine, and when they touched, the sensory stimulation drove me into a deeper state of pleasure. The more he kissed me, the more I craved it.
Feeling his cock slide in and out of me was exactly the same. Every inch of him teased at some deeper arousal building below the surface. My whole body became a bundle of pleasure-seeking nerves.
He stimulated other parts of my body while he fucked me. He did amazing things to my nipples while simultaneously sliding in and out of me, switching deftly between using his tongue and fingers while keeping a wonderful, consistent rhythm. He also changed up the sensations — licking my neck, pulling my hair, and kissing me deeply and passionately.
My new partner happens to be the only person I know who makes the effort to multitask during lovemaking.
We just enjoyed each other — without expectation. There was absolutely no pressure for either of us to orgasm. No rush to get it over with. We were just loving each other. This played a huge part in why I was able to climax through penetrative sex.
The pressure was off, and I soon started to feel that delicious tightening sensation in all the usual places — my lower belly, my thighs, my ass, and my cunt. He kept going, and the pleasure continued building. Once again, I questioned my body’s newness and my perception of all reality. Penetrative sex had never felt this good before.
Then, I fell over the edge. I came, hard, just from him being on top of me, his cock filling me over and over again. His skin on my skin. His breath on my lips and face and neck. His eyes locked on mine.
It was perfection.
It doesn’t matter how you climax — just enjoy the connection
Research on orgasms for those of us with vulvas isn’t as rich and robust as one would hope. One study found that only 6% of us are able to climax through vaginal stimulation alone, and less than half of us orgasm every time we have sex.
If you don’t currently experience vaginal orgasms, that doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. And it doesn’t mean you aren’t having sex that is any less amazing.
If penetrative sex feels good to you for whatever reason, or you just enjoy the closeness and vulnerability with your partner — keep doing it! You can also incorporate clitoral stimulation during PIV sex, which is possibly my favorite thing to do. I’ve only orgasmed sans clitoral stimulation a handful of times, so one of our go-tos is placing a small bullet vibe between us during sex. That works like a charm every time.
Even if you don’t have an orgasm, the most important thing is to enjoy it. Enjoy connecting with each other, enjoy feeling pleasure in whatever way brings you pleasure.
But as I’ve learned through personal experience, even if you’ve never orgasmed vaginally, it doesn’t mean you can’t — no matter how old you are and no matter how long you’ve been having sex.
And even if you don’t, all that trying will make it well worth it.
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