I Had a Heart Attack During Breakup Sex

When passion turns to pain, you shouldn’t ignore it

The burning in my groin spread upwards, fast. Now my whole abdomen was on fire, feeling like the hottest orgasm of my life. But then a wave of nausea crashed over me and I had to get away, forcing myself off the bed and collapsing on the floor, as aftershocks convulsed through me. Crawling to the bathroom, I was dazed and confused — I couldn’t breathe. What the hell was going on?

Luckily the guy I was with had witnessed two people having heart attacks previously. I had no idea what was happening; the pain flooded my brain and shut down all useful thought.

He said later that I had looked pale and clammy and was unresponsive and confused. I didn’t even know he had called for an ambulance.

I lay on the tiled bathroom floor, not registering the discomfort — feeling lifeless and useless until the paramedics arrived.

This was not quite the clean and easy end to the relationship I had imagined.

Women have atypical symptoms during a heart attack. But the only reason the term atypical is used is because they are not the same symptoms men experience.

My left arm and hand ached for days after the chest pain settled down. It was a constant throbbing reminder of the seriousness of my situation.

I spent a week recovering in hospital, undergoing tests to determine what had been the cause. I was healthy, young and fit — not a prime candidate for a heart attack.

And I was one of the lucky ones.

The stats for heart attacks in women are scary

Women are less likely to survive their first heart attack than men.

Doctors, and even women themselves, often ignore pain that differs from the standard or typical pain experienced during heart attacks in men.

Here is the range of possible symptoms for heart attacks in women:

• Chest pain — but this might not be felt like pressure, as it is in men.
• Extreme or unusual fatigue, without obvious cause.
• Weakness or shakiness, with dizziness and fainting.
• Shortness of breath without exertion.
• Sweating — or feeling cold and clammy without good reason.
• Upper body pain in the jaw, neck, arm or back — without being able to pinpoint the origin and possibly spreading to other areas.
• Sleep disturbances, or tiredness even after a good night’s rest.
• Stomach problems, such as nausea and heartburn.

Some women experiencing a heart attack describe upper back pressure that feels like squeezing or a rope being tied around them. Dizziness, lightheadedness or actually fainting are other symptoms to look for.

But often women will experience one or more symptom in the weeks running up to a heart attack, not just at the time of the event.

Almost a third of women will have some chest discomfort in the weeks before a heart attack.

I remember having sharp, unexplained pain in the left side of my neck while out running in the days before having my heart attack.

If I had known then what I know now, I would have had that checked out.

Don’t ignore ‘heartburn’ during sex

From my experience I’ve learned that having a heart attack doesn’t feel like I would expect it to. The symptoms were weird, the predominant one being nausea and severe heartburn. If I hadn’t been with someone who realized what was happening I might have written it off as something else.

Even though heart disease is the №1 killer of women in the United States, women often chalk up the symptoms to less life-threatening conditions like acid reflux, the flu or normal aging.

Some women experiencing a heart attack describe upper back pressure that feels like squeezing or a rope being tied around them. Dizziness, lightheadedness or actually fainting are other symptoms to look for.

If I hadn’t been with someone who knew what was going on maybe it would have taken a second heart attack or a stroke before I got the surgery I needed. I had a hole in my heart repaired after this finally showed up on a scan during my barrage of tests.

As women we need to look after our health, not ignore pain and understand that it’s possible to feel the pain from a heart attack focused somewhere other than your heart.

Particularly if you are going through a current stressful event in your life, don’t ignore symptoms that could be a sign of an impending heart attack.

When to call 9–1–1

Get help right away if you have chest pain or discomfort along with any of these symptoms, especially if they last longer than five minutes:

• Pain or discomfort in other areas of the upper body, including the arms, left shoulder, back, neck, jaw or stomach.
• Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath.
• Sweating or “cold sweat”.
• Fullness, indigestion, or choking feeling (may feel like heartburn).
• Nausea or vomiting.
• Light-headedness, dizziness, extreme weakness or anxiety.
• Rapid or irregular heartbeats.

Our breakup was certainly memorable and I’m grateful I was with someone who knew when to call for help.

Breakup sex can be healing for some. For me it was life-changing.

Whether you experience chest pain in a stressful situation or have any of these physical signs appear in everyday life— don’t ignore your body when it’s trying to tell you something important.

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