I Found the Most Millennial Porn Ever

I am here for #vanlife sex

I have a recurring fantasy. In it, Mr. Austin and I sell everything we own except what fits in one or two suitcases, move out of our place, and live in an RV.

I have an uneasy relationship to stuff. I was raised by a hoarder, so clutter makes me viscerally uncomfortable. But now I live in a house with four children and a husband who likes books on paper and music on vinyl, so I’m surrounded by things.

I drool over photos of minimalist homes. I love the tiny home aesthetic. But it’s van life that I can’t stop thinking about.

Living in an RV would force us to pare down and live with minimal possessions while also liberating us from having to be rooted in a single place.

I often daydream about living nomadically, exploring North America but never settling in one place for too long.

I also love the idea of having easier access to the outdoors. I love the comforts of civilization but I’m not made for urban life. I love living in my little bubble, but I want that bubble to have forest paths, beaches, and vast fields. I want it to smell like pine needles, soil, and blossoming lilacs.

But it really is just a dream.

At least once a week, I go window shopping online. I look for RVs for sale. I mentally tally how long it would take for us to save up to buy it. Then, I look at their floor plans and start to imagine how we would make it work.

The problem is, I can never make it work.

We’d need room for four kids — that’s already a problem. Even if I could squeeze them in there somewhere, I really don’t want to homeschool them.

And then there’s my doctor. I have chronic illnesses to manage, and I can’t just uproot and leave behind the one person I can rely on to administer hormone tests and prescribe the medication I need.

So, I sigh, close the window, and go back to living rooted in one place.

Until the next week when I open Firefox and start looking at RVs again.

Living the Millennial Dream, Vicariously

I got excited as soon as I watched the trailer for Wanderlust, I told my husband to come upstairs and bring the credit card. We just had to watch it. It’s a film by XConfessions, a company headed by Erika Lust that produces short porn films based on sex confessions submitted to the site.

Wanderlust features a pair of Australian hippie hipster van lifers named Oliver and Verde. They’re fit and gorgeous. He’s bearded and she’s got floral tattoos (including a full sleeve). And damn if they don’t live the life I wish I was living.

The video gives us a wordless introduction to the couple with a montage of their made-for-Instagram life. We see them taking selfies by the roadside, swimming in crystal-clear waters, and unrolling yoga mats outdoors.

The first sex scene is brief, with each lazily pleasuring the other in their vintage camper van, door open to the fresh air. It’s really more of a tease, just enough to wet the appetite and remind you that you’re here to watch these two fuck.

The second sex scene takes place outdoors, at night by a campfire. I’m normally not a fan of dim lighting in porn. I watch it to see the action, so I want to see the action. But this just worked. It fit with the theme. It felt real and immersive, like we were really camping out and not on a set. It felt intimate and made me wish that I was fucking by the fire, too.

My only complaint with this scene is that it was a bit too episodic. Instead of letting you get into the action, the cuts came a bit too early.

Luckily, they make up for it with the last scene. It’s the only scene not shot by the director (Michelle Flynn). Instead, it’s shot by the performers with a single handheld cam.

This scene is in the bed in the back of their van. There’s no soundtrack, only the sound of rain hitting the windows, and it sets a perfect atmosphere. It reminded me of how cozy it feels to be stuck inside during a storm, with nowhere to go and nothing to do but be close.

In this scene, we get a good, long look at how these two are together. They have the kind of chemistry you need if you’re going to live in tight quarters, and it shows in the way they have sex. Nothing about it feels forced. It doesn’t feel like they’re having sex for the camera. They’re just a real couple fucking.

We’re treated to some expert-level head without any deepthroating, gagging, or other theatrics. It’s just really pleasant to watch her make her partner feel good. And she’s repaid later with a quiet and lengthy orgasm that almost made me rewind and rewatch.

Maybe We’ll Just Rent

Wanderlust is one of the best porn films I’ve watched recently. It has some cinematic flair, appealing stars, and settings that will make any Millennial (or anyone who likes watching Millennials fuck) wet.

My only complaint is that it was just too short. I did not even come close to getting bored, and I would’ve loved it to be a full-length feature, or even a series.

I also loved living out my van life fantasies through this video. But watching the action unfold, I realized just how constricted I would feel having sex in an RV or a camper van.

That’s kind of a bummer. But I’ll keep window shopping anyway. Maybe someday, I’ll rent an RV for a week and take Mr. Austin for a real ride.

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)

❤ If you liked this post, you might also love: