I Finally Cut Caffeine, I Was Surprised By Some Of The Benefits

I’m not sure why maybe I drink too much or don’t eat enough food or both.

Whatever the reason, I think I’ve developed a caffeine intolerance.

I used to drink coffee every day, and for a while drank energy drinks as well.

Causing me to feel jittery, my heart felt like it was going to burst from my chest at times.

I could feel the arrhythmia, my heart would skip beats, sometimes for minutes on end.

This was the first sign of problems and led to me cutting out energy drinks, but I love coffee.

I told myself because it’s natural it’s ok to drink every day.

That may be true, in moderation, but I love coffee. I would end up drinking too much coffee.

There was another issue at the same time.

I was working sixteen hours a day between two jobs and had little time to eat.

The lack of food lead to sluggishness, which I fixed with more coffee.

This was the spiral I stayed on for almost three years.

I have only, in the past few days, come to grips with this reality.

I decided to cut out caffeine a few days ago and I am already seeing benefits.

One of the main things, that I didn’t consider was my anxiety.

I have always been slightly neurotic, however, it seemed like it got worse as I got older.

It never occurred to me that the over-caffeination could be fueling the fire.

I also noticed I am less angry than I have been in some time.

The caffeine made me tense and anxious, the fountain of unused energy bubbled up like molten lava inside me.

Frantically pacing around my apartment, too hyper to sit still or think about anything for more than a few seconds.

My eyes become blurry and heat radiates from my body.

The dopamine flowing through my brain counters the pain and anguish in my body.

The only thing that can bring me back down to earth is copious amounts of pot that I rip from my bong, until the feeling of wanting to burst finally subsides.

Why do I keep doing this to myself?

When I sat down to think about it the truth hit me like a sledgehammer.

I felt like I had to drink coffee because everyone else does.

If they can handle coffee I can too, I’m not weaker than them.

My ego and bizarre expectations lead me to keep doing something that was hurting my life.

My fear and insecurity wouldn’t allow me to admit I can’t handle coffee.

So here I am, I’m saying it. I can’t handle coffee.

I still love coffee, and maybe one day I will be able to drink it again, for now, I’m going to hold off.

Getting to the truth showed me there are areas of my life that are currently controlled by misguided beliefs.

We all have these invisible chains and barriers we build for ourselves, it’s ok to let them go, they aren’t real.

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