I Figured Out How Many More Times You Will Have Sex With Your Partner

A simple equation based on data helps you find your number

Many couples obsess over their sex number.

When I say “sex number,” I mean how many people they or their partner has slept with over the course of their life. I even wrote an article about why your sex number matters.

However, there’s an even more important sex number that nobody talks about. Maybe because nobody knows. I figured out how many times you’ll have sex with your partner and the truth can set your sex life free.

So, let’s look at a simple equation that helped me figure it out so that you can calculate your sex number, too.

I’ve also included what I hope is a helpful chart based on sex data and relationship length. It’ll be your shortcut to math-magicing your number.

The Sex Number Equation

It’s surprisingly easy to figure out how many more times you are going to have sex with your partner.

Here’s how I figured it out:

• I looked up data on how many times, on average, most couples have sex per week (This will be different for different couples, but the average helped me with my basline calculations).
• Next, I looked up how long most relationships last. For this, I used both the average of non-marriage relationships and the average of marriage relationships.
• Finally, I multiplied the average number of times a couple has sex per year by the number of years in a relationship.

The formula looks like this:

Average sex per year X Length of relationship = Lifetime sex number

Okay, so that’s how I figured it out, but what are those averages?

This Is How Much Sex Couples Have Each Year

According to health.com, most couples have sex approximately 52 times per year, or just about once per week. Younger couples typically have sex two or three times per week.

Interestingly, relationship satisfaction generally doesn’t go up with more sex. However, having sex less than once per week is correlated with a reduction in relationship satisfaction.

Of course, the average number of times a couple has sex per year is just that — an average. Some couples have sex more and some couples have sex less. There is no right or wrong number.

Sex isn’t a competition with metals at the finish line. Although that would be pretty cool.

This Is How Long Most Relationships Last

Most adult dating relationships last anywhere from 2 to 5 years with the average being 3 years. Most marriages last 8 years.

As we all know, these numbers don’t always pan out for each relationship. However, we’ll use these averages as our baseline for calculating how many more times you’ll have sex with your partner.

Remember, I’m also going to share a chart that will give you some answers. That way, you can easily calculate your precise number based on age, sexual drive, and other variables.

How Much More Sex You’ll Have With Your Partner

Now let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.

I compiled data into the following chart that shows how much more sex you’ll have with your partner. Again, the chart is based on couples having sex once per week for the remainder of the relationship.

If you have sex more than once a week, just adjust these calculations to fit your reality.

Since most dating relationships last 24 to 36 months, I included a separate category for them. Most of the chart follows a marriage relationship that lasts a minimum of 8 years.

Starting from that minimum, I extended the length of marriage out to 10 years, 15 years, 20 years, 25 years, 30 years — all the way up to 50 years. Since the average life expectancy is currently 78.7, and most people don’t get married until their 20s, I stopped my calculations at 50 years.

Note: This data does not take into account medical issues or other health-related causes of a reduction in sexual drive, interest, or ability.

With that said, here is the chart:

Surprised? Me, too.

When I calculated my number, it came out to 4,680.

Take a moment to come up with your number. You may need to change the calculation a bit (like I did) to match how many times per week you have sex with your partner.

Now that you have your lifetime sex number, here’s another fun thing you can do with it.

How Much More Time You Will Spend Having Sex With Your Partner

According to Healthline.com, sex lasts between three to seven minutes for most couples. The average is right around 5.4 minutes. As with the number of times you have sex per week, the average duration of sex with your partner may vary.

With this information, you can calculate exactly how much more time you’ll have sex with your partner, down to an approximate minute.

All you have to do is take your lifetime sex number and multiply it by your average sex time.

For the sake of example, here are my numbers, altered for the average length of sexual activities. My calculation would be 4,680 multiplied by 15. That comes out to 70,200 minutes.

Essentially, here’s what I’m looking at:

• 70,200 minutes
• 1170 hours
• 48.75 days
• 6.9 weeks
• 1.6 months

Now It’s your turn! Calculate your numbers and write them down. You can use this free tool to get your numbers very quickly. We’ll talk about some more fun things you can do with your numbers in just a moment.

Why Your Lifetime Sex Number Matters

I can’t remember what rabbit hole of research led me to calculate how many more times I would have sex with my partner. What I do remember is that the number seemed urgently low.

I think that’s the magic of knowing your number. It provides a concrete, diminishing deadline. In me, it prompted reflection and urgency.

Even though I consider myself only a mildly competitive person, I instantly wanted to beat the number. When we are able to visualize our number, it becomes an important symbol of relationship connection and celebration.

It’s like knowing how many minutes left we have to live.

I love to travel. I know that at some point in the hopefully very distant future, I won’t be able to travel anymore, at least not easily and not without lots of assistance.

I’ve never calculated my lifetime travel number, but I bet if I did, it would give me the same sense of significance and urgency.

What To Do with Your Numbers

Now that you know your numbers, what the heck do you do with them?

That’s up to you, of course, but I have some suggestions. Instead of approaching your numbers as diminishing sources of pleasure, you can view them as prompts to appreciate your partner and celebrate your sex life.

Here are some other fun things you can do with your numbers:

• Share them with your partner and talk about what the two of you think and feel about them.
• Remind yourself of your numbers weekly or monthly so that you maintain a healthy satisfaction and appreciation for your sex life.
• Countdown your sex number. You can use an app like Big Day Lite to share the countdown with your partner. There are many free countdown apps available for smartphones.
• Try to beat the clock. Try to have more sex or longer sex to beat your numbers.
• Celebrate the milestones hidden in your numbers. Milestones like 1,000 more times, 500 more times, 100 more times, 50 more times, and of course the top 10.

The most important thing, to me, is that you have fun and remain playful with your numbers.

Sex should never feel like an obligation, meeting a quota, or fearing failure. Ultimately, sex is about celebrating the deep connection you have with your partner.

If it’s not fun, you’re probably doing it wrong.

Parting Thoughts

Sex and life are not about numbers. A satisfying life can’t be calculated with an equation. However, we can leverage math to help us appreciate the treasures that exist in our lives.

I hope that this article helps you appreciate yours.

“Sex is the driving force on the planet. We should embrace it, not see it as the enemy.” — Hugh Hefner