I Dance Intuitively to Be Gentler with My Feelings

Thawing the ice in me

Growing up as a typical Chinese girl, I aspired to be a humble and demure lady, to be seen and not heard. My Chinese name is 冰洁, which my Mother chose to symbolize ‘Purity’ — 冰清玉洁. My name is dominated by the Water element, and water is often used to describe emotions.

5 years ago, I got to know through my Human Design chart that I tend to feel emotional energies from people around me, or even from movies and books intensely. Looking back on the first 2–3 decades of my life, various emotional waves from others had accumulated within me, thrashing against one another. So the walls of my heart thickened to bear the impact. I grew numb and frozen, choosing to focus on clear-cut transactions instead of meaningful interactions. I guess it’s not a coincidence that the first character in my name, 冰, literally means ‘Ice’!

The Magic of Intuitive Dancing

Two years ago, I joined a private Facebook group that encourages women from all over the world to post their short dance videos of any genre and at any skill level. The main intention is to dance yourself free with the support of other women. With the regular support and appreciative comments from my group members, somehow I found my natural groove in dancing intuitively to the music, allowing my body to move in any way she wants, instead of thinking about the dance steps first before moving.

If I had to move even further back in time, my growing passion for dancing intuitively came from participating in Inner Dance workshops and an Inner Dance retreat facilitated by Pi Villaraz, way back in 2007 and 2009. It was so fascinating to literally hear loud crackles whenever Pi moved his arms. He added an element of mystical magic to the way I see Dance, which fills my heart with gratitude just thinking back on those times. Through experiencing Inner Dance, I learned that my Spirit yearns to dance through my body, and whenever I allow the Dance to come through me, this Dance helps me heal spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. It’s the most enjoyable form of energetic realignment that I know.

Joining that Facebook group reawakened this Inner Dance process in me. But the interest fizzled out after the first year.

A Healing Art Angel Led Me Back to Exploring Dance More Deeply

Last December, a healing art angel — Rositsa Vladimirova Metodieva from Bulgaria came to me. I’m still so very grateful to receive her healing channeled Mandala Art (shown above as the featured image), complete with a potent message.

Seeing this brought me to tears because the entire Mandala is a neon sign from the Universe telling me to keep dancing! I can no longer see dance as a frivolous activity that I do occasionally, once or twice a month, to entertain myself whenever I feel too bored or frustrated.

Dance is part of my identity that I need to keep embodying in myself.

I’m not just Ice, I’m Fire too. I need to let out the fiery passion in me. The Mandala is also filled with the element of Water that helps to integrate everything. The deaths of my close relatives arrived around the same time I gave birth to my first two baby boys. And while I’m consciously practicing Gentleness, I can’t deny the empowerment I’m starting to nurture within me as I grow bolder in sharing my messages too.

I need to integrate all these extremes, and I integrate them through dance.

After this magical experience, more magical experiences followed:

• I found my first fan flow teacher — Betty Kang, as she taught me in person how to flow with silk fan veils.
• I stumbled my way to discover past-life regression therapist, Mira Kelley’s gentle and powerful healing work. Through using her online past-life regression course, I discovered past lives that explained my spiritual purpose in dancing and literally felt much more powerful whenever I dance.
• I found online dance programs that help me build strength and flexibility with repeated sensual hip dance movements. I’m releasing shame and adding sensual beauty every time I allow my hips to dance freely.
• I started making intuitive dance a daily habit. It gives me so much joy to free and open up myself energetically.
• And now, I’m learning more fan flow techniques in an online course with flow-lovers from all over the world. Being in this community helps me feel normal making dancing for the sake of dancing part of my identity.

Just like that, Dance is no longer a frivolous and optional activity to me. It is part of who I am.

I Dance Intuitively to Be Gentler with My Feelings

To me, dancing intuitively helps me process all the complicated thoughts and feelings that are stored in my aura. Emotions are energies in motion, and I love moving my body to help these emotions travel more quickly to where they want to be. When I dance, I’m also reaffirming the level of vibration that I naturally want to arrive at. It is a beautiful process of co-creating the reality I want.

The more I dance intuitively, now as a new daily habit, the more I find myself doing flowy movements, much like the soothing wave-like movements of the ocean.

In this little dance video I’m sharing below, I danced to the song, Flow, created by Lee Harris and Davor Bozic. This beautiful song, infused with gentle guiding words, helps guide my movements to be soft and harmonious waves. Whenever I dance, I’m ‘thawing’ the ice in me.

This is how I’m practicing Gentleness on a daily basis, by making dance a daily habit. :)

How do you practice being gentler with your feelings, or what you exploring to be gentler with your feelings? I’d love to know!