I Choose Me

Saying yes to my mental needs, physical health, and spiritual guidance should be easier without feeling guilty.

I am saying yes. I am choosing to care for myself in every way, like the support of a friend. You wouldn’t treat a friend as anything less, you don’t deserve that, and neither do I. We should all assume the role of our own best friend when we don’t have the support and when we do.

Stressful Times

These days, when under pressure or frustration, I have dreadful flashbacks of my 36-year Eating Disorder. I have come so far with never taking time off or away from being a mom or wife to only focus on recovery. I overcame its darkest challenges but wished I could’ve and honestly should’ve stepped back very early in my disorder for the proper attention my mental health issues deserved.

Now, when under stress, if I even see a nudge of negativity heading my way, I have to shut it down with utter disdain for its presence. When I’ve traveled this far on my journey, I closed the road going back.

Anxiety or being overwhelmed does put me on alert and attune to triggers assigned to pull me down, such as others eating lifestyles around me. If family members are intermittent fasting or following other apparent fitness choices, I can be proud of their value in their health while still knowing it wants to be a trigger for old habits in my life. I don’t analyze it when I’m not in a heightened sense of stress.

Acknowledgment of the presence of a past trigger lets me face it as it is to me. I can then remove myself from the times it’s presented, physical area, or person for more time to heal. This isn’t necessarily a reflection on the person you are removing yourself from but kindness without disrupting their journey and advocating for your health.

Exhaustion

Back in high school and college, I remember being able to enjoy a nap gloriously, and when needed, it was a priority to have the energy for the sport, study time, or night out. I revel in that discipline with reward and see it as a responsible choice in my young adult kids now, too.

I used to get up before 3 am when I was a baker and be home after 1 pm when a nap wasn’t a choice. My body just collapsed into my nap coma, sometimes even in my uniform decorated with loose flour. I remember those days and can’t muster up that kind of early bird energy at this stage of my life.

I enjoy my flexibility in my days, where some are short, and some are longer, but it’s usually the rubber band of patience and emotion I stretch that may summon me to a pleasant slumber.

I give my body and mind permission to turn down, but the streaming thoughts on pause and breathe renewed life into a restored soul. I can’t continually sacrifice my needs that I know with concrete evidence in my trial and error ways do help the outcome of my day wholeheartedly. Your children and family will still know you love them if you need to care for yourself first this time. When you sacrifice instead, and it breaks you, it will take longer to get back to your family and kids. I choose myself so that I can love them.

Prayerful Consideration

I start my day with a bible verse before my foot hits the floor and crave God’s word in daily devotions throughout my day. Staying in God’s Word keeps His presence so close in my mind that I often have streaming conversations with him in my car, out loud in the house, or quiet in my room.

God is that friend who never leaves me and always listens no matter the circumstance or time of day. I can hear Him in scripture chosen for me based on my emotion or struggle that strikes my day.

Talking to God and praying for others is a powerful force in my healing. When I pray for other friends or family, I give my heart up to God to touch it in a way I can bring joy to their tears and a place for their loneliness to sit with me. I started praying for my own needs more, loving myself as God loves me and I love my friends and family. A caring cycle nurtures growth and springs forth fruits of the Spirit.

Say Yes

Caring for oneself is a gift and reward. It is selfless, not selfish. Giving yourself the time for understanding, attention to your body and mind’s needs, and focusing on a path of positivity is a gift to those you love. They will experience your power of healing, and encouraging that process is in their best interest, too.

A rested, nourished, abundant self guided by the Spirit is a rich reward for your life. Say yes for caring for yourself as you rightly deserve.

I want to lift up a courageous, honest, and talented writer, Art Bram, and a recent article that touched me the day I needed it most.

Thank you for reading my struggles and triumphs. Enjoy more of my articles and poems.

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