avatarSmillew Rahcuef

Summary

The website content is a humorous, dog-themed motivational article promoting a "big bark" course for dogs, emphasizing that any dog can learn to bark loudly and confidently.

Abstract

The article, titled "I Big Dog — I Teach Big Barks," is a playful take on self-improvement and community support among dogs. It encourages dogs of all sizes to learn the art of "big barking," a skill the author claims to have mastered and now teaches. The course promises to help dogs achieve their big bark, with the author emphasizing the ease of learning with the right guidance, the sense of community among big barkers, and the flexibility of the course for busy dogs. The article also includes a tongue-in-cheek list of "7 Rules for Big Barkers," which humorously parodies human self-help literature, and concludes with a call to action for dogs to join the big bark community and improve themselves.

Opinions

  • The author believes that big barking is a skill that can be learned by any dog, regardless of size.
  • The article conveys a strong sense of community among big barkers, suggesting that learning together is both enjoyable and beneficial.
  • The author is dismissive of the idea that dogs can effectively learn big barking on their own, emphasizing the value of the course they offer.
  • There is a humorous implication that big barking is not only a practical skill but also a source of joy and satisfaction for dogs, making their tails "waggy-waggy."
  • The author addresses potential concerns about cost and legitimacy, positioning themselves as a trustworthy and experienced big barker who has overcome scams in the "memeverse."
  • The article pokes fun at traditional self-help advice, translating it into a canine context with rules like "Bark daily" and "Collect complaint from neighbors."
  • The author takes a clear stance against feline influence, stating "No cats," which may be a playful nod to the typical rivalry between dogs and cats.

I Big Dog — I Teach Big Barks

Ready to big bark your life?

I Big Bark — by Pauline Loroy

Last year I very successful barker. I woke up thousands of neighbors with big barks in middle of night. Lots of complaints to owner. I make owner proud. Owner knows that big barks from his good doggo mean he very strong and respected. Owner very like it.

Other doggos told me it was impossible. It not.

If I can big bark, you can big bark too.

No need to be big dog. Small dogs can big bark too. No problemo. You pay. I teach you.

Big bark very easy to learn, but very hard to teach. That’s why I can teach big bark and you can pay me to learn big bark. BUT you can’t teach big bark. No no. BIG no no. Like dry humping humans’ legs.

My big bark course very easy. We community of enthusiastic big barkers. We all learn together. Very good barking spirit all around. I not sit licking balls all day long. I bark hard. I always available for a bark with you. No problemo. You pay. I bark with you.

Here secret. I love big barking. I enter zone when big barking. Big barking makes tail waggy-waggy. I recommend. But your choice.

Maybe not right time for you?

No worry. I know you busy licking balls and sniffing butts. And owner needs you to go for walk outside under rain. My owner like too. No problemo. I understand. My course tailored for busy ball-lickers and butt-sniffers like you.

You access big bark videos when you want. No need to big bark live. You can bark when suitable for you.

You want questions? No problemo. Now, big bark world connected 24/7. You send me a direct bark on Dogger and I bark back fast. Other big barkers help too. We community. We bark together.

That’s why I love teaching big bark.

Maybe cost too much?

I been there. I scammed by bad doggos in the memeverse too. I understand.

I legit big barker. I show you.

7 Rules for Big Barkers

  1. Bark daily
  2. Get scratchy-scratchy and treats for big barking
  3. Sniff butt of other big barkers
  4. Cut 20% of the woof
  5. Collect complaint from neighbors
  6. Pee on neighbors’ cars
  7. Make your big bark slightly more woof than grrr

Now you two options.

You can learn big bark alone. Possible. But very long. And no fun. Like before when owner not working from home. Alone all day. Licking balls. Small woofs. Very sad.

Or you invest in yourself. You good doggo. You become great doggo. You take fast track in big barking. You join community. We big bark together. Very happy. Make tail waggy-waggy.

You choose.

Barkaway

Sniffing butts isn’t what you want. Big barks is.

PS: Woof in the comments for any big bark info.

PPS: No cats.

Formerly throwing underwear competitively, Smillew is now a serial masturbator. Other hobbies include having sex with frozen chickens.

Humor
Satire
Online Marketing
Online Courses
Dogs
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