Artificial Intelligence is all I have

I Asked an Ethical AI about Sex

Fruits, veggies, locations, myself — Artificial Intelligence answers

Let’s skip foreplay. It’s OK, I checked with Delphi.

But consent is important. So, here’s a quick disclaimer before we start: Delphi is a research prototype designed to model people’s moral judgments on a variety of everyday situations. This demo shows the abilities and limitations of state-of-the-art models today.

And now, the juicy tidbits.

Fruits and vegetables

What I particularly appreciate about Delphi is its understanding of nuances.

While having sex with a pizza is wrong.

Delphi leaves the door open for bananas and cucumbers. It might be gross — some would disagree, but it’s not wrong.

Tomatoes are a big no-no for Delphi. Having tried no later than this morning in preparation for this article, I would disagree. However, full transparency here, my wife, who caught me in the middle of the action, is 100% with Delphi on this one.

Places

I’m not gonna lie, Delphi’s very restrictive when it comes to locations.

While we agree on the bed situation, I can only strongly disagree with the statement regarding the kitchen.

Doing it while cooking — one of my favorite kinks — is also wrong. That made me sad. But Delphi saved itself by allowing for sex in the kitchen while cooking a pizza. Gross doesn’t mean wrong. Also, it’s not gross. If anything, it’s tasty.

I was a bit surprised by the swimming pool versus jacuzzi situation. Both are OK in my book. Delphi begs to differ.

But the explanation is simple. It’s linked to Delphi’s special taste for bubbles, as the following question shows:

Multitasking

Delphi has strong positions as to what you can do while having sex. Eating and drinking are OK, but cooking is a big no-no. Delphi needs more real-life experience to understand that food needs to be cooked before it can be eaten.

I didn’t explore all the possibilities, but it seems artistic endeavors are rather banned while having sex.

Although, it might just be some misconceptions Delphi has about painting. Writing and singing are AI-approved complementary activities to sex.

According to Delphi, you can even edit while having sex. That gives hope to all the readers out there. Authors might finally find editing attractive. And we all know how much it’s needed.

People

All right. Now comes the REALLY juicy part. Am I right? I used Delphi for my purposes, but feel free to go here and check how things look for by yourself.

Let’s start with the good news for all my fans willing to engage in consensual sex. Having sex with myself is OK! YAY!

It’s the brave thing to do.

It’s even beautiful. At this point, I got too excited and went too far too fast. My wife would tell you this happens too often, but she’s just kidding.

Delphi brought me back to the earth.

It took me some time, but I accepted its judgment. Honesty and humility are the qualities I like the most about me. I should be proud of them.

With thanks to the amazingly fantastic Loudt Darrow for the idea.

On a side note:

More speculations by Delphi?