avatarBingz Huang

Summary

The author reflects on reconnecting with their 9-year-old self to overcome challenges with public speaking and embraces the joy and wonder of their inner child in their adult life.

Abstract

The author sets an intention to share messages on gentleness practices and Human Design through video, despite facing difficulties with public speaking. After a session with Resilience and Embodiment Coach Mira Rao, the author revisits a childhood memory of stage fright and decides to bring their 9-year-old self into the present. This reconnection with their younger self, whom they call "Bubbly Bingz," has introduced a newfound sense of joy and ease in creating social media content. The author emphasizes the importance of honoring one's inner child and expresses gratitude for this unexpected collaboration with their past self, which has enriched their adult life with childlike wonder and joy.

Opinions

  • The author believes that showing up authentically on video is a significant challenge but is committed to overcoming it.
  • They value the role of guided facilitation in building confidence and revisiting past experiences.
  • The author feels that society's conditioning has led adults to form protective shields, hiding their true selves.
  • They advocate for the retrieval of lost aspects of oneself from childhood to regain a sense of wonder and joy.
  • The author is grateful for the reconnection with their 9-year-old self, which has positively influenced their current life.
  • They see the inner child as a source of inspiration and magic, particularly in the context of creative expression.
  • The author encourages others to engage with their inner child and suggests that this connection can lead to a more fulfilling and authentic life.

I Am Thankful for My Bubbly 9-Year-Old Self

She adds magical joy to my adult life every day

Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

This year, I’ve set an intention to show up more on video. I want to share my message on simple gentleness practices and Human Design tidbits. My highest vision is to be a public speaker, inspiring fellow HSPs and Empaths to consciously co-create a world that they love.

Speaking up, especially on video, is a real challenge for me. I tend to either panic and speak too fast in a squeaky, high-pitched voice or be so emotional that I’d be too choked up with tears to be heard clearly.

But now, I’m feeling the inspiration and energy to move forward, even if I need to take consistent baby steps. One of my fellow business mastermind friends, Mira Rao, who’s a Resilience and Embodiment Coach, facilitated a beautiful session for me to help me feel more confident in speaking up on video.

An Unexpected Collaboration With My 9-Year-Old Self

Through Mira’s gentle facilitation two weeks ago, I went back in time to meet my 9-year-old self, who was super excited to tell a story on stage, in front of the entire school. She had been practicing so hard for that momentous event, telling her story repeatedly in such an animated way at home. But as she walked up the stairs to the sounds of a noisy crowd, panic set in. Using all her energy to stay calm to the point of showing a blank face with a stiff body, she mumbled her story with no emotion and ran down the stairs back to her classmates. She had to endure the disappointment of not shining on stage and pretended that it didn’t matter to her.

I felt so sorry for her. The past is over, right? All I thought I could do was to keep processing what I felt then as that 9-year-old girl. But Mira gave me an option in her guided facilitation — do I want to leave my younger self back in that memory, or would she like to come back to my present reality with me?

That was a real plot twist!

We didn’t know that my 9-year-old self could come to the present with me! We both want to stay with each other. Now that it’s a little easier to show up on social media than to an actual physical crowd, she’s adding so much more Joy to my life, especially in my mini dance and ‘talking’ videos.

Meet Bubbly Bingz :)

I call her my Bubbly Bingz :)

I’d love to show you some of the magic we created just yesterday. We danced and shared a simple visualization exercise. Here are the videos:

Closing Thoughts

Being an adult is hard. All of us have probably gone through so much conditioning by society, our culture, and our caregivers to become the adults we are today. And because of this conditioning, we tend to form multiple energetic shields to hide our true selves.

I believe that it’s always beneficial for us to keep traveling back to our younger selves, especially back to our childhood memories, to fetch precious aspects of us that we might have left behind because it wasn’t safe to be us at those points in time.

We need to honor our inner child selves, to retrieve our childlike wonder and joy.

So, to answer Sharing Randomly’s monthly challenge prompt, I’m immensely grateful for reconnecting with my 9-year-old Bubbly Bingz. She was someone I truly didn’t expect to feel so thrilled to meet again.

Tagging my youthful friend and old soul, Maia Thom, who’s new to Medium but has been writing soulful poetry and articles for a long time. I’d love for you to read her poem here, which was originally published in her book.

Dear Maia, I’d like to invite you to check out this supportive publication — Thank You Notes, for which you can apply to be a writer too!

Thank You Notes
Monthly Challenge
Spirituality
Self-awareness
Mindfulness
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