I Am Not the Body or the Mind — Now Love Flows Every Moment
This realization finished my life’s work. Now I am enjoying the fruits of a joyful life.
Much before practicing medicine, I practiced meditation. The heart knew life was much beyond the study, relations, or death.
The desire to go beyond the mundane life has always been my dream. While striving for outside goals, I was thirsty for my inner ones.
I wandered for years till somebody held my hand and guided me. The transcending experience of body and mind opened the heavenly gates of blissfulness.
Unconscious Ego Loves the Massage Whereas a Conscious Person Can Pin Point Ego’s Play
Last evening I, along with my cousin, went for a walk in the woods. The cool air of the hills gently stroked my face. Then, suddenly, a voice broke my trance.
My cousin greeted someone and introduced me, “She is the daughter of my uncle. And she is a Doctor in Delhi.”
Obviously, he didn’t ask what I do. As we went further, he repeated the same words. I coaxed him not to say it when nobody is asking.
He said, “It has to be done. You are a doctor. And they should know. I am proud of you.”
I laughed hysterically. Proud is a misplaced word to boost the ego. Ego loves the strokes of praise and suffers from criticism.
Ego Constructs Destroy the Simple Peace
My work, name, religion, region don’t describe me. They may make the identification of the body easier. But not me!
During childhood, I aspire to become a doctor. I worked hard relentlessly until I crack my entrance exams. When I reached college, everybody was a doctor there. (In India, dentists are also called doctors.)
Seeing myself in a pool of doctors, my ego crashed instantaneously. Apart from professional meetings, I never describe myself as a doctor. It is irrelevant and egoic. A false pride hides in it.
Getting a prefix does not make one special. Instead, I felt more weight on my identity. I strived to be free from each part. And one more superficial feather just got added.
My Actual Work of Life Shifted From My Profession to Spirituality
The mythological serials of childhood had a great impact on me. I wanted to be wise yet free, like them.
It led me to the meditation routine since 2002. It helped to calm my nerves. But the external environment sucked me into the drama occasionally.
From early on, I could see the futilities of living unconsciously. The blind race and competition are sucking the blood out of humans.
I wanted a peaceful life —a slow and calm one. But I knew it was not possible till I know who I really am?
For Years I Wandered for the Answer of “Who Am I?”
Books, videos, and audios preach much. They fill the intellectual superficially. But it was not enough for me. I wanted something experiential. Not just bookish knowledge.
I got enrolled in various spiritual discourses, courses, and society. Nothing gave me the answer. For years I strayed like a hungry dog.
During my self practices, I had a glimpse of total silence. But I wanted to merge in the bliss permanently.
I prayed in silence, in my tears, in my cries. I prayed relentlessly to the universe to drop its veil. Allow me to see the truth.
The Universe Mysteriously Conspired a Meeting With My Mentor
I was on Quora for many years. I followed many scholars and read their stories regularly. One such story had an after note to reach them through Quora message.
Although the message was for the questioner, I messaged him, too. He humbly gave me his phone number. The call went on for about an hour. Soothing energy overpowered me after the call.
I felt it was a powerful signal to follow his guidance. He instructed me to join Enlightened Circle. From there, my journey took bounds and leaps.
My First Glimpse of Body-Less State Happened There
Their vast collection of meditation techniques blessed me with many experiences. My energy expanded, my being became light weighted. Densities dissolved.
During one such technique, I experienced I was not the body. I was distinctly different from my body. The body is a shrunk and dense version of who I really am.
I experienced this body-less state multiple times. Awareness was rising within. As I progressed, the past events went on dissolving, and the present became beautiful.
The Ultimate Nail in the Coffin — The Dissolution of My Mind
After an intense period of suffering, I automatically got disassociated with my mind. Mundane stopped affecting me.
This dissolution of my identity and mind was the ultimate nail in the coffin. My identities, emotions, stuck energy evaporated. I resurrected from the ruins of the mind.
It happened all by itself. My inner being became silent. With no noise of the mind, I now rest in life. It freed me from the past weights and illusions of the future.
My work towards my dissolution took time. But determined efforts were successful. I am thankful I did not fall into the safety net created by society.
My thirst and courage made me jump into the unknown. Instead, it made me fly.
Summary
Society has made external work so important that humans forget to explore themselves. Leading an unsatisfied life, they leave this Earth regretfully. I made a conscious attempt towards my inner journey. A thirsty desire to get dissolved pushed me every time.
Now when ‘I’ have dissolved. Everything and every moment are blissful. Life has become beautiful.
The ego pattern inhibits us from recognizing the beauty in mundanes. Identities weigh you down. Stripping down the achievements that one day will anyway drop makes a person see the reality of this blissful life.
You must look most intimately and discover for yourself; then it is your own, not somebody else’s, not something that you have been told, because there is no teacher and no follower. — Jiddu Krishnamurty
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