Summary

The website content is a humorous personal essay about a woman's experience with online dating profiles after becoming single, highlighting the quirky and unique lines men use to describe themselves.

Abstract

After ending a relationship, the author joined an online dating site, where she has found amusement in the creative and sometimes bizarre self-descriptions men use in their profiles. From claims of romanticism and unique talents like ear-wiggling, to unusual aspirations like owning a pet elephant, the profiles showcase a wide range of personalities. The author shares these entertaining snippets, which range from the innocuous, such as a love for fresh coffee, to the peculiar, like a fear of butterflies. Despite the enjoyment she gets from these profiles, the author remains skeptical about finding a partner through the site, yet she encourages the men in their search for companionship and acknowledges the joy their profiles have brought her.

Opinions

The author finds humor in the varied and often eccentric ways men present themselves on online dating platforms.
She appreciates the creativity and honesty in the profiles, which provide her with entertainment.
The author is not actively looking for a relationship, as staying single seems more appealing after reading the profiles.
She maintains a positive and light-hearted attitude towards the men behind the profiles, wishing them well in their search for love.
The author values the importance of a good editor and offers her services to help others improve and publish their writing.

I Am Not Like All The Rest

Funny Lines From Online Dating Profiles

After becoming single, I joined an online dating site. After a year of perusing profiles and meeting men for coffee, staying single is starting to look better and better to me. But I’ve stayed on the site, in part for the pure enjoyment of reading what men choose to say about themselves when trying to attract a partner. For instance?

Here are a few of my favorite lines from men’s online dating profiles:

I am romantic, passionate and caring, with just the right amount of masculinity.

I like to take hikes and catch frogs.

I have very little experience with sex. Bondage is okay.

I have achieved my life-long dream of seeing the total solar eclipse in Wyoming.

It’s all about the endorphins.

I have wealth and a doctoral degree and I want to find my new soulmate.

I am not like all the rest.

At 20, my great-grandfather plotted to kill the Czar.

I am mindful that random chance animates the universe.

I have a deep affection for fresh ground coffee.

I want butterflies!

I am always open to trying something new. Except skydiving. And playing with snakes.

I am a very handsome and well-built male.

I was a pirate in my previous life and once a year, or more, I become special.

The woman I am looking for likes her gender.

I’d love to have a pet elephant.

I can wiggle my ears.

I am outgoing and spontaneous and possess ample amounts of wit and charm.

I’m not into Facebook or any other types of whatever that is.

The only fear I have is of butterflies. Those little things scare the heck out of me. Go figure.

I’ve always believed that women make life SO much nicer — and I want one.

Time’s a wastin’ so let’s saddle up and trot down the path to something special…

I’m not about to admire your wiggling ears or trot down the path with you. But thanks for making me smile — even if you didn’t mean to — and I wish you all the best in your quest to find someone who will.

Writing Coach Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from the Funny Times to the New York Times, can help you improve and publish your work. Drop her a line at [email protected]. (That’s Ros with an “s,” not a “z.”)