“I Am Not a F*ck Boy. I Am a Male Slut.”
What exactly is a f*ck boy?
“So what? I like to fuck.”
“I just have a high sex drive.”
“I am not a fuck boy. I am a male slut. There is nothing wrong with that.”
I have heard a number of men make variations of this statement across social media platforms. Fuckboys get a bad rap. They aren’t bad guys, they say. They just really like sex and they like to have a lot of it.
They are just male sluts. That’s all.
They point out how slut shaming women is bad. Women can have all of the sex they want, and the world is ok with it.
Naturally, this is not true but let's just try to flow with their logic.
They proclaim that it is a double standard. Women can be promiscuous and that’s ok. However, when men are they are demonized as fuck boys. This is slut shaming!
A sexually experienced man is far from shameful or threatening. He is yummy.
A fuck boy and a male slut are separate entities.
There is nothing wrong with a man who really likes sex (in fact, I think there is a lot that is right about it).
A man who likes deviant, kinky kind of sex? No judgment here. Are hook-ups his specialty? Good for him! Would we label him as promiscuous? Guess what? I don’t care as long as he practices safe sex.
If anything, I find a sexually experienced man to be incredibly attractive. I dated a swinger for a while. He was the first man to make me squirt. He may have had his way around a lot of female bodies, but I didn’t care. He knew what he was doing, and I benefitted from that.
I don’t consider a man who has had a lot of sex partners to be a fuck boy. I don’t think it is necessarily a red flag. If anything, it could be a green flag (at least in the sex department).
F*ck boys are desperate assholes.
The problem with some men, the ones we label f*ck boys, is that they are assholes. They lie. They are thirsty and most likely so because they are incapable of finding sex partners without lying and coercion.
They are the opposite of yummy. Often, they are miserable in the sex department.
Many women don’t like lying fucking liars who say whatever they think you need to hear so that they can get you in bed and have sex with you.
That is a fuck boy. He is a man that knowingly deceives a lady so that he can move his dick around inside her.
A fuck boy promises whatever he thinks the lady wants. Conventionally, this could be more than a sexual relationship. He wants a romantic relationship, he says. He will take you out on dates. Perhaps he will even be your boyfriend.
Are you a baby girl looking for her daddy? Oh sure, he will be that. He will spoil you, princess! Coloring and stuffies are on their way!
Since you are female, surely you need to know that he will lick your kitty for hours and hours! He loves performing oral sex! For real.
And oh yea: you are beautiful and smart. Darling, he thinks you are so very special.
But the fuck boy has no intentions of fulfilling his promise, other than his promise to fuck you.
His only motivation is his needs and wants. He knows he can’t straight up say that. Not many ladies want to fuck a selfish lying prick. He may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he understands this at least.
C’mon, you aren’t a slut. You are just pathetic.
I never heard the term fuck boy until I started dating again. They have always existed, of course. We just called them selfish jerks or if you want to be fancy- a cad.
With the rise of social media platforms, especially the kink-based site, Fetlife, the fuck boy can take on epically comic proportions.
One can look at their profiles and see the less intelligent fuck boys in action. Not only are they leaving creepy comments like, “I want to fuck that ass!” But you can see them leaving a trail of promises all over various different ladies’ photos.
They are answering all the ads detailing how they are exactly the right guy for whatever it is she wants. He is leaving desperate posts all over the place: “Heyy sexy! I sent you a message! Let’s meet up and begin our journey together.” Over and over and over.
So, in my book, fuck boy shaming does not equal slut shaming. Fuck boys are not being called out for having a lot of sex or even wanting a lot of sex. They are being chastised for lying.
Can women be equally deceptive? I bet they can. I don’t really have those experiences to draw upon. Fuck girls probably exist.
I have nothing against men who are looking for sex-only relationships. It is not what I am interested in but there are women who are.
What most decent people abhor is deception as a way of getting into anyone’s pants and that sounds pretty fair to me.
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