Homelessness | Houseless

I Am Homeless: My Name is Michael Trottier

I have a voice and this is my story.

What if?

What if words could change the world? What if words could inspire us to help those in need? What if words inspired us to find new purpose in life? What if words on Medium were the catalyst for compassion? What if words transported me from a virtual world to affect change in the physical world? What if …

Gift Bags for the Homeless Project

My friend Heather Paz, wrote a story about helping the homeless by giving out gift bags. Check out her story at the end of this story.

After reading her story, I felt inspired to collaborate with her to create a gift bag writing project. We live in two different countries, but we are distributing gift bags to the homeless. We are also writing stories about our experience. We are transforming our virtual experience on Medium into the physical world.

The writers on Medium have the gift of being able to write stories with an audience. I’m creating a way for someone who is homeless to do the same. They get a chance to be seen and heard. Heather and I hope that this will inspire anyone reading this to do the same.

A Different Way to Help Those in Need

I was born on October 4. My mother named me Francis because October 4 is the Feast of St. Francis. It was the date he died. He was a man that devoted his life to helping the needy.

I’ve helped the needy by donating money to charities. I’ve also volunteered at a homeless shelter. In both cases, it felt impersonal. I didn’t know the people I was helping. Even at the homeless shelter, I worked in the kitchen and had minimal interaction with the people.

I’ve always felt this deep desire to help the poor but have never done much about it. I’ve wanted to make it personal. I want to know this person that I’m helping. Perhaps, St. Francis has been calling me to do the same work. Perhaps I had to be ready.

I’m ready now.

Getting Ready

My first step was to gather items for the gift bag.

Backpack: I found a set of 3 brand new backpacks being sold in the classifieds for $10 total. Ziploc Bags: To store food and keep personal belongings dry. Socks Facecloth Mini First Aid Kit Book Granola bars Non-refrigerated pepperoni sticks Canned Chicken salad snack packs (with fork) Trail mix Candy bars Cash (Gift cards are also an option. But I decided to go with cash because I trust that whatever they use the cash for, it’s their choice and their business) Message Card

Finding Michael

With my gift bag slung over my shoulders, I rode my bike along the river towards downtown. I was on the lookout for a homeless person. Heather’s pastor told her to not give her gift bag to the first person she saw. I don’t know the reason behind that but I had that in the back of my mind.

I saw six or seven people that I thought were homeless but sometimes I wasn’t sure. I hesitated and felt unsure about this entire process. I saw a man sleeping on a park bench and didn’t feel right about waking him up. I saw a woman sleeping in a gazebo with a blanket and no other possessions. I felt especially uncomfortable waking her up.

I started riding back the way I came. I told myself that I had to choose one and just do it.

Mr Cellophane

’Cause You Can Look Right Through Me Walk Right By Me And Never Know I’m There…

When I found Michael, he was sitting beside the bike path in the downtown core. He had a bike beside him and he was wearing heavy duty construction coveralls. It was a hot day out and he probably had no other clothes to wear. He was awake and I could make eye contact.

A block from him were dozens of people sitting in an outdoor patio enjoying food and drinks. I imagine the conversations ranged from shopping and investments to romantic involvements. None of which are luxuries afforded to the homeless.

Hundreds of people walk, run and ride down that bike path every day. They don’t see Michael because he’s invisible. He’s sitting a few feet from them but they can’t see him. No one stops to talk or acknowledge him. I was one of those people.

Not anymore.

In the musical, Chicago, the song Mr. Cellophane depicts what it’s like to not be seen. It has to be such an incredibly lonely feeling.

The Approach

Admittedly, I was a bit nervous when I first approached him. There was no operating manual for this. I said,”Hello, how are you? Do you mind if I sit down beside you?”

He welcomed me to join him.

I had nothing rehearsed so I just came out and asked him if he was sleeping rough. I was avoiding the term homeless. There is a conversation in the world about the word homeless being an unattractive label. Society may be transitioning to the word houseless.

I’m still processing that conversation. Michael sleeps anywhere that provides some shelter. He doesn’t have a tent or one location where he sleeps. To me that is homeless. He has no home. Even nomads have a tent that they can call home.

Michael acknowledged that he was indeed sleeping rough. So I showed him my backpack. I showed him the items in it and asked if he wanted the items. He said yes to all of them.

I explained to Michael what I was doing. I explained that I was giving him a care bag because I cared about him. I also told him about Medium.com. I explained that writers here have the gift and honor of being able to write their stories and to have an audience. We are seen and heard.

Michael doesn’t get that opportunity. So I asked him if he wanted to tell his story and I would write about it. I said that I was hoping his story would send butterflies out into the world. I hoped that it would inspire others to see and help the homeless.

He accepted.

Michael’s Story

Michael Trottier was born in Calgary. He’s lived here his entire life. He went to school here and he named all the schools he went to.

His story starts the same way many others have. He was married with kids. But five years ago his marriage broke up and he lost everything including his family. He became a man without a house to live in. He’s been living on the streets ever since.

He hasn’t seen his kids in five years but he’s looking for his son. Michael thinks that his son is also homeless.

I’m sure there’s more to the story but all that really matters is to understand that families break up. And life can change drastically in a very short time. I’ve read that this is a common reason for the source of homelessness.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow was an American psychologist who was famous for defining a set of human needs. It’s quite often called Maslow’s pyramid. The base of the pyramid is vital to our ability to experience any needs that sit on top of the base of our pyramid.

When I read this list of needs, I see that Michael has virtually every item missing or in jeopardy.

Ponder this for a moment. You will feel the absolute heartbreaking tragedy of being homeless and hopeless.

The Basic Need of Shelter

Michael doesn’t sleep at the local shelter. It’s a common story among the homeless. The shelter has a large room that 200 people are squeezed into. The people have not had showers for many days. The smell and the noise is overpowering. Michael also got lice the last time he slept there. It’s easy to understand why he chooses to sleep outside.

The problem is that he also sleeps outside in the winter. We had a mild winter last year. Mild is a relative term compared to other winters that were much colder. Last winter, night time lows were around -20°C (-4℉). However, we also had stretches of -40°C (-40℉). I’m not kidding. That was a mild winter for us.

Michael had no tent or sleeping bag. I’m not sure how he’s even alive. He said that he almost lost a finger to frostbite. They must have been the longest nights of his life. As the minutes passed by too slowly, he probably felt his life force being sucked away into the frost filled air.

Surrounded By Water But a Desert Nonetheless

The location I found Michael at was right beside the Bow river. He was also a block away from restaurants and bars. Hundreds of people passed by him carrying water bottles. Yet, there was no way for him to get fresh clean water to drink.

He knew that the Bow river water was not healthy to drink and no one was giving him water. The restaurants were not giving water away. He drinks the river water when he’s desperate.

This conversation helped me understand the incredible challenges of surviving homelessness. I never knew how hard it was to get water unless you had a house or money. Michael has neither.

I wasn’t prepared for that need, so I gave him my water bottle and the water I had left in it.

Excretion

When I saw this item on Maslow’s pyramid I stumbled on a need that I never discussed with Michael.

Fortunately, for Michael, there were some public bathrooms in the park where I found him. Perhaps that’s why so many homeless people congregate in that area. Public bathrooms are a rarity throughout the city unless you are a patron at a local business.

This is another basic need that I never thought about.

My Interview with Michael

I asked Michael some questions about how to help homeless people. His answers were eye opening:

You will notice that during the interview, Michael is eating one of the chocolate bars I gave him. In fact, there were about 8 mini chocolate bars that he ate non stop. I wondered if he was low on blood sugar. Then I wondered if he was diabetic and how on earth would he ever be able to get medical attention for that.

Boredom

When I asked Michael if giving books was a good idea, he replied:

We don’t have TVs, so what else is there? Reading is good.

I imagined what it would be like to have nothing to do all day and every day. When I found Michael, he was sitting there staring at the river. I imagine that it is the same for many of the homeless. I told myself that if I was homeless I would have meditation, yoga, dancing and art to keep me busy. The reality might be that I would end up in a fog. I would be desensitized to the world and my feelings. I might slip into a depression where boredom would be as natural as the air I breathe.

I don’t really know.

Loneliness

But the most profound thought that I received from Michael was his comment:

They’d be happy to talk to somebody because a lot of them are lonely.

I sat with this idea for days and it pierced deep into my heart. I knew that he was also talking about himself.

I entertained the hypothetical idea that I was alone in the world. I was invisible and I had no friends and no family. What would it be like if I died and nobody cared. What if my life ended in obscurity and my life had no impact. I was an irrelevant footnote in the history of the planet. I had nobody to love me and nobody for me to love. I had no knowledge of connecting to my inner source of love.

I can’t stay there for long. It’s a brief experiment in hypothetical reality. But it brings immense sadness and tears to my heart.

And yet that is the reality of many homeless people.

A Bright Light

It wasn’t all darkness. During my visit with Michael, a young woman in her late 20’s walked up to us. She was shoeless but had white socks on. Her baby carriage was only used for her meager belongings. She reached into the carriage and pulled out a cigarette for Michael. Michael thanked her and offered her a granola bar. She declined and walked away.

The interaction between them was so brief that I couldn’t tell how long they had known each other for. What I do know is that she was generous enough to share something that she had very little of.

I was deeply moved by that expression of generosity.

A Gift Bag Transforms Into Human Connection

This story starts out as a simple gift of assorted food and supplies. But it transformed into something more profound. I don’t know how my visit with Michael affected him. But I think that the most important gift I gave him was the feeling that somebody cared.

Perhaps I gave him a brief reprieve from being invisible. Maybe he felt seen and heard for the first time in a long time. I’m only guessing.

It’s Time to Revolutionize Winter Survival for the Homeless

When I heard of Michael’s physical struggle to survive, I told him that I was going to do something about it. I would gather the necessary supplies for him and come find him again. He said I could find him in the same location.

It was an instant reaction that came from the understanding that we are one. I couldn’t let him suffer like that.

When I got home I began to gather supplies for him. A friend donated a free bike for Michael (his bike had no brakes). I bought a used tent and sleeping bag. I also embarked on a month-long mission to revolutionize homeless survival. I would address the need for warmth and water.

There are adventurers that choose to ski and camp during the winter in the backcountry. Light gear and access to clean drinking water is of utmost importance. I studied the concepts and technology that these adventurers rely on. I then developed an effective winter survival kit that can be produced for less than $30. Most of the supplies can be purchased at Home Depot.

I plan to make several sets of these and hand them out before winter comes.

Stay tuned for my next story where I show you what I’m making. I’ll also be looking for Michael again to give him his supplies.

My Invitation to You

If this story has moved and inspired you to join Heather Paz and I, I would like to make some suggestions. If you go out and give out gift bags, do it in a safe location that is during daylight and in a very public place. Bring a friend along to feel safer.

If you write a story about your experience and the person you help, use the same title that I did. Except replace Michael Trottier with the name of the person you helped. If we all have the same title format, it will be a brand of sorts. Anyone that wants to find these stories can search for the same title format.We can also link the stories.

It will look like:

Kicker: Homelessness | Houseless

Title: I Am Homeless: My Name is _____________

Subtitle: I have a voice and this is my story.

My Hope

I hope these words will spread their butterfly wings into the world. I hope they will bring some light to someone who needs human connection and compassion.

You may not be inspired to create gift bags. But perhaps the next time you meet a homeless person you could simply talk to them. Let them know that somebody cares.

Let them know that they are seen.

Let them know that they are heard.

Let them know that they matter.

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