I am a Former MMA Fighter — Writing is By Far the Hardest Thing I Have Ever Done

So don’t feel bad if you’re a struggling writer.

Martial arts was my first love.

Way before I ever wrote a single blog post, I was trading fisticuffs in the ring for the world to see. Fighting was a heady, exhilarating rush, and what most people don’t know is the competition itself was just the tip of the iceberg. The difficult part was the months of training leading up to the bout, the diet and extreme weight cutting that go on behind the scenes.

Yes, fighting was, without a doubt, a very, very hard thing to do. But I’m about to say something controversial here.

All in all, I find writing much harder to succeed at than fighting.

Before I get roasted alive by my sporting contemporaries, allow me to get a few words in. Here are some reasons why I think the way of the pen can be a tougher journey than the path of the pugilist.

Writing Is a Very Lonely Way To Make a Living.

Mike Tyson once said that,

“Boxing is the loneliest sport in the world.”

Having tried my hand at both the fistic and literary pursuits, however, I must say that the latter takes the cake. Even though it can be argued that you are alone in a combat sport, coaches and training partners still get to give you advice between rounds, cheer you on at the sidelines and help you improve in the gym.

No such thing exists in writing. Writing is pure loneliness. Writing is just you scribbling on a blank page, filling it up, then hitting the submit button. Then you rise to do it all over again. And again. And again.

And when you lose your way, there are only two types of people you can consult with: your literary heroes or your fellow writers. The former is ideal, except for the fact that they’re normally either unreachable or dead. The best form of contact you have with them are the words and works they’ve left behind.

Hanging out with your fellow writers are a hit or miss. I used to seek out the company of my contemporaries until I realised the truth of Bukowski’s advice. The old, drunk cynic wrote,

“…writers were to be avoided, and I tried to avoid them, but it was almost impossible. They hoped for some sort of brotherhood, some kind of togetherness. None of it had anything to do with writing, none of it helped at the typewriter.”

At the end of the day, it always comes down to you and the typewriter. There are no friends to cheer you on as you type, no magical ball of yarn to lead you out of the mental Labyrinths you stumble into, no Deus Ex Machina to save you from the dreaded writer’s block. Ultimately, the terror of the blank page is where your artistic mettle is tested, the battleground where the wielders of the pen either make it or break it.

And many people break.

Writing Can Mess With Your Mind.

I wrote a poem about this. It goes like this,

“Writing is, at its best a lonely life.” Hemingway said,

before he blew his brains out.

Writing is ignoring Nietzsche’s warning and gazing deep into the Abyss.

Writing is talking to yourself for a living.

Writing is bending over a desk at 3.am,

alone with your mind, screaming into the void.

Writing is hoping you’ll get lucky hoping you’ll hear an answer

a voice from the emptiness

whispering back.

The line between madness and genius has always been thin. Artists, in particular, seem more susceptible to mental disturbances than most – take Van Gogh for example or the notorious 27 Club. I can’t speak for other creative endeavours, but when it comes to writing, it makes perfect sense for some writers to step off into the deep end…and never surface.

Writing is basically you talking to yourself, day after day, night after night. And as Nietzsche so darkly intoned,

“And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”

For many – myself included, to be a serious writer is to straddle daily the fine line between divergent genius and outright madness. While you’re working, be sure to practise some self-care. Take a day off once in a while to hang out with your friends, free of books and words and any and all literary pursuits. Go on a date. Eat some expensive ice cream.

For me, martial arts and daily 20-minute walks help bulletproof my mind from the abyss. Just keep in mind that the chasm will always be there — hazards of the job. Keep the drop in mind, and try not to look down.

Try not to fall.

There is Nobody Holding You Accountable But Yourself.

This last point brings things full circle.

The beautiful thing about writing is that you are accountable for yourself. Unless you’re a big shot with a publisher behind your back, there is no team to report to, no boss to breathe down your neck. You set your own schedule — which is a very powerful thing, but like all powerful things, it cuts both ways.

When it comes to literary pursuits, the most difficult thing for me to overcome is procrastination. We are beholden only to ourselves, and paradoxically, we find ourselves easier to let down than other people. Thus, to be a productive writer, you have to introduce the steel of discipline to the willowy life of the creative. Here are some things that I personally do:

• Set artificial deadlines (e.g I have to write 1,500 words a day)
• Create a routine around your writing, not the other way round.
• Block off a set time of the day to write
• Announce to the whole world, whether it be real-life or on social media, that you’re a writer now and you’re going to have x project out in x month. Go back home and panic. Figure out a way to do it because you don’t want to lose face.

If that sounds like a lot of work, that's because it is. Writing isn’t this magical thing where you get to stroll in your room, set your fingers on the keyboard and have golden lines of poetry appear on the page by themselves. It’s hard, hard work, and only the best, the most deserving and the most dedicated of us make it to the top. Just the way it should be.

Which brings us to your takeaway…

Your Takeaway: Don’t Feel Bad if You’re a Struggling Writer — It’s Supposed to Be Hard.

This has been a pretty dark read, but believe it or not, it was not intended that way. As a matter of fact, I wrote this with the intent to inspire.

You see, writing is supposed to be hard.

I’ve had 9 years of martial arts experience, had over 50 Jiu-Jitsu matches and fought in 4 MMA fights. I’ve been routinely punched in the face and felt pressure like you wouldn’t believe; the pressure to perform at the highest level, with your physical well-being at stake.

I still maintain that writing professionally is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

Writing is lonely, so lonely it screws with your mind. And at the end of the day, succeed or fail, you don’t go home to applause, acclaim, and a clap on your back. You go home to write more. You go home to repeat the process all over again.

However, that being said, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Writing is supposed to be hard. Writing is supposed to be lonely. Writing is the only way to spin characters out of thin air, to write worlds into reality — to be a living embodiment of a god.

Besides, and this is something I used to tell myself all the time when I was fighting; if it was easy, everyone would do it.

Then where, oh where, would be the fun in that?