I Always Ask This Question When I Meet Someone For The First Time

It tells me everything I need to know.

Meeting new people can be exciting, or excruciating. It often depends on the circumstances. Nowadays, going out and meeting new people feels like a thing of the past. Thank you, Covid.

I’m an introvert — so the thank you was half sincere. I struggle with people, saying awkward things or not talking at all. In the United States, it’s been easier. Well, the first five minutes, because we’ll talk about my accent, France and if I like it here.

Then, I stare. I’ll make that weird half-smile when I’m uncomfortable but I know walking away would make it worse. So I developed a strategy. When I know I’m going to spend an afternoon or an evening with new people, I always ask them the same question.

What’s your favorite movie?

The reaction is the same for most people. Panic, eyes open to the max — sometimes the mouth too — and head shaking.

I don’t know…

I offer an alternative: what are some of your favorite movies? Opening the question helps to obtain an answer. And the answer is crucial. It’s not a science, but it tells a lot about the person.

Here are some of the stereotypes I’ve met. Again, it’s not a science — don’t be a hater.

There’s The Lord Of The Ring and the guys that come with it. I love LOTR, as do some of my women friends. Yet, none of us would pick them as our favorite movies. My husband, however? In a heartbeat. So I definitely know the type.

There are the action movies guys. Yes, again, most often guys. I’ve heard James Bond, Kingsman, Mad Max and others. It’s often someone outgoing, somewhat loud, and that gets excited talking about these movies.

There are the girl’s Pride And Prejudice. Great movie. Probably in my top 10. It’s often a quiet girl. A bit artsy. Different.

The list can go on. The Godfather, Pulp Fiction, The Avengers, Spirited Away…the same movies are coming on top over and over. It’s not always a guarantee of quality, but it helps.

The question lets me see a part of them I wouldn’t access that early on otherwise. Movies' preferences are intimate. Our favorite movies somewhat define us. They made us, and they bring us home.

What about me?

I have my top 3, and it definitely defines me.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button Dead Poets Society

Yes, I belong in the tragic girls' categories. I like movies that break my heart. It’s the only way I know I felt something.

Dead Poets Society is an old habit. Discovered it in high school, cried really hard, and words echoed in me through time. I’m a writer, I couldn’t resist. I still love it, for the memories, but it would take a lot to make me sit down and watch it. I know too well how it ends.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind is a classic of the genre. It is strange, quiet, poetic, and timeless. Love at its best and its worst. Questioning life, memories, and the burden of holding on. The pain it takes to love someone, yet the treasure it is to have loved. It gets me every time.

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button surprises. For some reason, not as many people as I thought heard about it. It’s a shame, for it is a beautiful movie. From the music to the pictures, sets, actors… not many movies tell a story that well. It reminds me of Forrest Gump, only more poetic. Floating. It is a dream, a heartache, and a wake-up call. It is the one at the top of my list.

Here it is. My one tip to start a great conversation and get to know someone for who they are, not what they are doing or who they are with. People are always more relaxed when talking about their favorite movie, it makes it easier to connect.

Let me know what is/are your favorite movies. I’m always looking for something new to watch. I’m also very curious, and I love to know how many people will say the same movie. Maybe you can use the comment section to find new people to follow based on their favorite movies. It’s not the craziest idea.

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