How You Look Shouldn’t Dictate How You Feel
Lessons in self-confidence from a lion cut
When I was a kid, my grandmother’s long-haired Persian cat needed to have her fur shaved. The front and sides of her coat had become matted so she could no longer be brushed.
This thick, fluffy cat came home from the groomer a changed animal. The groomer was able to save the fur on her back legs and tail, but everything from the hips to the head was gone. She was a skinny, hairless cat that looked like she was wearing a poofy pair of pantaloons.
We couldn’t help it. We laughed at her. And she spent the next two weeks hiding under a bed, only sneaking out to eat and use the litter box when we were all asleep.
Our elder cat recently had something similar done, for the same reason. (She needed to be knocked out to take care of a horn paw, so we took advantage.) She got a lion cut, where everything from the shoulders back was shaved. Unlike my grandmother’s cat, though, our cat had self-confidence.
She wasted no time in letting our little cat know that, even if she was funny looking, she was still in charge. I snapped the above picture today as she sat on her cat wheel, demanding extra treats for her morning jog. I caught her just as she was turning to get down to business.
Which cat are you more like?
When it comes to your life, are you timid like my grandmother’s cat? Do you allow the opinions of others to stop you from doing what you want to do?
Or are you bold and confident like our cat? Do you know your place in the world and what is due you, and insist that you get it?
Perhaps you aspire to be confident, but you can only do that when you know you look your best.
You might say that it was easier for our cat to put her best face forward because her front still looked like a normal cat. So let me tell you another story. This is from a film, whose name escapes me, so forgive me if I get some of the details wrong.
A dramatic disaster
A young woman has been working extremely hard to get a chance to be recognized at work. She’s finally given an opportunity. All she has to do is show up at a posh party and charm some clients. In the way of movies, her taxi is stuck in traffic. Not wanting to be late, she gets out and cuts through central park. Someone tries to steal her purse, and she fights them off. Then it begins pouring.
She arrives at the party, drenched, her designer gown torn, and barefoot. She catches sight of her reflection, and almost turns and goes home. Then she takes a deep breath, squares her shoulders, and goes into the party. Everyone stops and stares at her.
Her main competitor at work says something cutting about her appearance. The woman ignores her, smiles at the clients, and says, “You would not believe what I had to do to get here tonight. But I was determined not to let you down.”
In the next scene, we see that she has completely charmed the clients. Her future is assured. And her rival is forgotten.
You can always take control
Many times, it is our own self-judgments that stop us. We see our reflections, and anticipate what others will say. Not wanting to face that rejection, we turn and go home.
And let’s be honest. We will face that rejection. Someone will always point and laugh. But we control whether we listen to them, or use our unique situation to demonstrate our skills.
In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown offers a list of ten things to help you to love yourself, and have self-confidence. Related to this situation, the first three sum it up well. Rather than caring what others might think of you, be your authentic self. Don’t beat yourself up over not being perfect, but have compassion for yourself. And when you get knocked down, bounce back, and never give away your power.
So, the next time you’re second-guessing yourself, react with self-confidence. Don’t hide under the bed. Prove to everyone around you that you are someone to be reckoned with.
Final Thoughts
Sometimes, we allow our self-confidence to rest on external things that are out of our control. So you had a bad hair day. Will you really allow that to color everything that happens for the rest of the day? Or will you use it as an excuse to wear a fabulous, eye-catching hat?
If you want to talk “bad hair day”, consider our cat. She had half of her fur shaved off.
When this happened to my grandmother’s cat, she hid under a bed for two weeks. When this happened to our cat, she showed the younger cat who was boss, and then demanded extra treats.
It’s up to us how we frame our situation. Rather than being concerned about others’ opinions, we can find a way to spin things in our favor. We’re not being disrespectful when we show up looking like a hot mess. We’re demonstrating our commitment to our client, after enduring things that would have sent a lesser person running for the hills.
We can’t keep people from talking about us. But we don’t have to listen.
We can tell our own story.
Ready to have a better tomorrow?
I’ve created a guide to help you increase your confidence and improve your life. If you follow these tips, you will level up your life very quickly!
