WRITING

How You Can Write Your Way Out Of A Nightmare

My lifelong passion saved me

A writer at heart

Once I knew how to write letters, I sounded them out into words and began writing stories. In fourth grade, I filled several legal pads with my handwritten story about a girl who spent an adventurous summer with her family and met a boy. Every week I’d watch Silver Spoons, so I wrote the role with Ricky Schroder in mind, hoping with starry eyes that the two of us would star in the made-for-TV future screenplay version of my novella.

I continued writing short stories every chance I got. I escaped to a variety of worlds I created whenever I wanted. In fifth grade, I wrote a story about a girl who loved life despite her struggles and obstacles. I won a writing contest and spent a day at the well-known University of Iowa Writer’s Workshop, where I joined other kids from all over the state for writing classes at the University throughout the day. It made me more confident than ever that I wanted to be an author more than anything.

Authors don’t make real money

Whenever someone asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was always the same; a writer. I was accustomed to the grimaced face response I received, along with a nod and explanations I knew by heart early on. Very few writers make a living doing that; I would have to do something else and only write as a hobby. Writing isn’t an actual career. What did I want to do for a living?

Writing is solitary

My writing became something I did quietly, and much of it remained hidden while I pursued ‘acceptable’ careers. In addition to bits and pieces of writing, I kept journals as the years marched on. The idea to do this ended up being the best advice I ever received:

Saving myself from being sucked into swirling waters

Everyone gets tossed overboard from the ship of safety at some point. Sometimes we’re thrown in repeatedly when we’re exhausted and weak. In addition, some of us are sent over in the middle of the darkest night of the year, in the most dangerous ocean areas, in places we’re unfamiliar with, into icy waters.

Sometimes we’re lucky, and someone is nearby to help us find a way back onto the ship, where it is warm, dry, and safe. Other times, we’re alone. At that moment, we must figure out what happens next before others, or our environment decides for us.

There may be many ropes hanging down, made out of a variety of materials with various levels of strength, width, and comfort. Each will bring you to a different part of the ship. You get to choose which one to grab onto and start climbing and decide quickly.

Maybe you’re not so lucky, and you only have one rope option or none, and you have to figure out how to create your own.

Pen brings peace

Writing was my only way out for many years. It was a sturdy, reliable rope I always knew I could count on. Words pulled me from whirlpools; phrases created gigantic knots in the rope that offered solid footing. Sentences carried me swiftly upwards, paragraphs made my climb go smoothly, and pages landed me safely over the handrails and onto the deck.

Every time I was tossed over again, I knew my words were the lifeline that would keep me from drowning. Phrase after phrase made my rope long enough to pull me out of my darkest nights and into a bright future I knew I couldn’t begin to imagine when I couldn’t see the tiniest spark of light.

Now that I’m here, I’m grateful for the solid rope I held onto with all my might; the one that never frayed; it got me to a place of peace that’s filled with sunshine; a future so beautiful I couldn’t have imagined it ever existed, or that I would ever be here.

When life throws us overboard, and there’s no rope, each of us has something inside us powerful enough to weave our own rope that will allow us to climb back up to safety. Some of us may build a small boat to paddle off to safe waters elsewhere. It’s up to us to determine how to use what we have when, at some point, all other options are gone.

I was inspired to write this from this prompt from Chelsea Marie: How and when did you develop your passion for writing?