#216 — Dead or alive | WRITING TIPS

How To Use “Show Don’t Tell” When Writing Fiction

You can tell your readers what happens in your story, but make them part of the story by showing them

When writing fiction, using the “show don’t tell” technique will make your story more interesting and dynamic. When using this technique, you allow your readers to experience the story through actions and words; feelings and senses instead of through your descriptions.

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.

~ Anton Checkhov

Explaining the “show don’t tell” technique

When starting out writing, it might be difficult to understand this technique.

Before I share more, let me just say that telling parts of a story isn’t wrong. When you have a supporting character in your narrative, you can use tell instead of show.

If you want to share a situation in your story without interrupting the flow of your story, then telling is the way to go. Be aware if details in your story need little to no attention. With anything you want your reader to notice, you use show, otherwise, use tell.

When you show the reader what’s happening in your story, they are part of the experience, and not only an onlooker. Instead of presenting a fact to your reader, you give them a stimulating image.

Showing brings a situation to life through details, but requires more words than telling it. However, it gives the writer more opportunity to illustrate the character’s emotion. Small details when sketching a situation help to make an important change or sensation clear to your reader.

Some examples

Tell: He has dark hair, which caught her attention. Show: Her eye caught the sunlight reflecting off his raven hair.

Tell: She cried when her mom left. Show: She sank to the floor, tears clouding her vision, while chanting quietly: Why? Why did she leave?

Tell: She screamed when he hit her. Show: “No, please no, please stop, it hurts so much…!” she yelled, an angry red imprint blooming on her cheek.

Words to use to “show don’t tell”

Below is a list of emotions and feelings, and under each, ways to show the emotions instead of telling your reader how your characters feel.

• Amusement clap hands — shake with laughter — slap thighs — throw head back
• Anger/Aggression bare teeth — clench fists — clench jaw — flushed face — jutting chin — lower eyebrows — point finger — shake fist — slam fist on surface — squint eyes — stab finger — throbbing veins in neck — tight lipped smile
• Annoyance exasperated sighs — narrow eyes — press lips together — roll eyes
• Anticipation grin — lick lips — rub hands together — unable to sit still
• Anxiety bite lip — chew on a pencil — clammy palms — darting eyes — fidget — high-pitched laughter — hold breath — hunched posture — pace — play with hair — quickened breathing — stutter — swallow constantly — sweat — twist a ring
• Attentiveness furrowed brow — lean forward — mimic body language — sit up — take notes
• Awe fixed gaze — slack-jawed — unable to move
• Boredom avoid eye contact — doodle — fidget — slouch — tap feet — twirl a pen — yawn
• Cold shivering and teeth chattering — body shaking uncontrollably — trembling lips — rubbing hands together — blowing heat on hands — seeing your breath in the air — having stiff muscles and joints — bundling up in lots of clothing
• Confidence clasp arms behind body — lift head — make firm and precise movements — push chest out — stand tall
• Confusion narrow eyes — furrowed brow — shrug — tilt head
• Contempt dismissive — hand-waving — lift chin — purse lips — sneer — stretch or turn away
• Cynical half-smile — press lips with a slight frown — roll eyes — shake head — twist lips
• Deception cover/touch mouth — hesitation in speech — lick lips- long blinks — look down — one sided shoulder shrug — scratch nose or ear — shifty eye contact — sudden change in demeanor — unwarranted smiles or laughter
• Defensive arms out with palms forward — cross arms or legs — hands in pockets — place anything in front of body
• Desire arch — cross or uncross legs — dilated pupils — flirtatious behavior — glance over shoulder — look up through lashes — make eye contact — straighten spine — stretch — touch hair or clothing — wink
• Disbelief crease brow — crinkle nose — narrow eyed (skeptical) — twist mouth — wide-eyed (shock)
• Disgust cover nose — crinkle nose — curled lip — flinch — gag — protect body by turning shoulder (cold shoulder) — squint eyes shut — turn away
• Displeasure cross arms — fake smile — frown — pout
• Distress adjust cuffs — beat walls — clasp hands over head — huddle in a corner — men hold hands together in front of crotch — rub nape of neck — run hands through hair — shallow rapid breathing — wide eyes — wring hands
• Dominance chest out — chin up — hands on hips — hard handshake — lean back with hands behind head and feet up — shoulders back — straddle chair — unblinking focused eye contact
• Eagerness double-handed handshake — feet pointed inwards — hand on heart — lean forward — nod — steady eye contact and raised eyebrows — wide eyes
• Embarrassment blink back tears — blush — bow head — cover face with hands — look down and away — stammer — trouble maintaining eye contact
• Excited hands waving in the air — mouth open wide — eyes bulging out of your head — jumping up and down — shouting out loud — smile is a mile wide — clapping hands
• Fatigue close eyes — grit teeth — move slowly — nod off and jerk awake — rub eyes — slouch — stare into space — yawn/stretch
• Fear freeze — hunch shoulders — mouth open — rock from side to side — shake — shaking hands — shrink back — tremble — widen eyes — wrap arms around self
• Frustration aggressively run hands through hair — clasp wrist in opposite hand or behind back — massage temples — shake head — show white knuckles — crossing arms — tapping foot — rolling eyes
• Grief cover face or head with arms or pillow — curl into fetal position — difficulty swallowing — face contorts — shake with sobs — slump — stare — tremble — turn away
• Happiness crinkle eyes and nose — dance — giggle — hug — hum a tune — jump — laugh — smile — spin loosely — swing arms
• Honesty look up — maintain eye contact — open arms — palms up — smile with eyes and mouth
• Impatience check the clock — increase pitch in voice — look away — nod quickly — sigh — tap feet — tap fingers
• Jealousy crossed arms — narrow eyes — sour expression — tight lips
• Nervous butterflies in your stomach — big lumps in your throat — knees are wobbly like jelly — twirling hair with your finger — sweat palms/hands — fidgeting with hands/clothing — stumbling over words — shifting weight from one side to other
• Overwhelmed eyes wide and staring into space — hands grip onto something — splayed fingers cover eyes with one hand — palms to forehead
• Passion double-handed handshake — feet pointed inwards — hand on heart — lean forward — nod — steady eye contact and raised eyebrows — wide eyes
• Playfulness nudge — smile — tickle — waggle eyebrows — wink
• Pleasure arch neck or back — eyes wide or closed — flush — languorous movements — part lips slightly — quick breath and pulse — stretch — tilt head back
• Possessiveness handshake with arm clasp — place arms on or around someone’s shoulders/neck/waist — place hands on wall near them — run a knuckle down someone’s cheek — stand in personal space with body positioned towards person — stare others down if they get to close
• Pride chest out — chin up — hands on hips — hard handshake — lean back with hands behind head and feet up — shoulders back — straddle chair — unblinking focused eye contact
• Reluctance cross arms — drag feet — make fists — pinch nose — put hands over ears
• Sadness bottom lip jutting out — bowed — cry — drag feet — droopy body — hesitating movements — lip quivers — shake — sob — wrap arms around self
• Secretiveness cover face — hands in pocket — look away — look down — tight-lipped smile
• Shame bow head — bury face in hands — look down and away — slump shoulders — straight mouth
• Shock freeze and stare with wide eyes and raised eyebrows — gasp — hands over mouth — mouth open — smack palms against forehead — step back
• Shyness avoid eye contact — back away if others come too close — bend head — blush — fold arms — ‘hug’ walls — keep distance from others
• Smugness enigmatic smile — one raised eyebrow — raise eyebrows — slight close-lipped smile — slightly tucked chin — steeple fingers
• Suspicion blow out cheeks — frown — glance sideways — narrow eyes — raise eyebrow — rub eyes — shake head — tighten lips
• Thoughtful close eyes — furrow brow — lean back and look up — narrow eyes — pinch nose — rest chin on hand — steeple fingers — stroke a real or imaginary beard — tilt head and press lips together — tug ear
• Tired droopy eyes — yawning — mumbling when talking — lounging around — body dragging along — rubbing eyes — stretching arms out wide — cannot keep head raised
• Triumph clench hands above head — jump — pump fist in air — roar — tilt head back and yell — whoop

In conclusion

Where using “show don’t tell” in a story strengthens it, you will never use this throughout an entire story. Any story is always a mixture of show and tell.

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