How To Stop Intrusive Thoughts -From An Amazing Therapist.

Summary

A therapist's approach to managing suicidal thoughts through goal-oriented therapy and the power of reframing thoughts is detailed by an individual who has experienced significant life changes post-marriage.

Abstract

The article recounts the personal journey of someone who has battled persistent suicidal thoughts and tendencies for years. With the help of a skilled therapist, the individual worked through a month dedicated to reframing suicidal ideation. The therapy focused on the person's desire to live and the reasons against suicide, such as religious beliefs, family love, the fear of death, and the potential for future experiences. After marriage, the individual found additional reasons to live, including the impact of their actions on their spouse and the prospect of building a future together. Despite overcoming depression, the challenge of not resorting to suicidal ideation as a coping mechanism at night remained. The therapist introduced a simple yet effective mantra, "Suicide is off the table," which helped the person to cease such thoughts. The article emphasizes that this mantra was a significant part of the therapeutic process, though not the sole solution.

Opinions

The author believes in the power of therapy and the importance of setting specific goals for mental health progress.
Religious beliefs and the impact on loved ones are strong deterrents against suicide for the author.
The author expresses that the finality of death and the possibility of missing out on life's joys are compelling reasons to choose life.
Marriage provided the author with new, powerful reasons to live, such as the shared future with a spouse and the responsibility towards them.
The author acknowledges the difficulty in breaking a long-standing habit of soothing oneself with harmful ideations.
The therapist's mantra, "Suicide is off the table," is seen as a simple yet transformative tool in managing intrusive thoughts.
The author suggests that their experience may not be universally applicable but offers hope that similar strategies could be beneficial for others struggling with suicidal thoughts.

My reasons for not committing suicide:

My religious beliefs.

I cannot do that to the people who love me, including my family.

Death is scary, af.

There’s no such thing as a perfect suicide. I believe everything is written, including our death, and any other means are useless.

Once you die, there’s no turning back. There’s no do-overs. There’s no trying anymore.

Missing out on things – like watching the kids I took care of grow up. Or the amazing books I haven’t read yet or movies I haven’t watched.

What would your death result in? Would it make the world a better place?

And many more.

These reasons have stopped me for the past 8 years, but I still contemplated suicide every waking hour, while in my dreams I would act it out. I was obsessed with hurting myself and wanting to kill myself. I wasted a lot of time on this. It soothed me to sleep.

After my marriage, everything changed. For the first time in my life, I tried to act on these feelings of hopelessness after a fight with my husband, and thank God my husband was there to save my life.

I had found loopholes in many of my old reasons. But then my husband and my therapist made me realize I had a few very powerful ones added.

Powerful reasons marriage added for me:

Everything I do affects another human now. He would be completely devastated if anything happened to me.

I have a future to look forward to now. I can be a great wife and a mother.

I love the time I spend with him. How could I end it when it feels like a lifetime with him isn’t enough?

And many more.

Now what?

The problem was, I couldn’t sleep without soothing myself through suicidal ideations, as that’s what I had conditioned myself into for the last 10 years. I wasn’t depressed anymore, my life was better, but I couldn’t stop thinking about suicide and self-harm.

Every time we had a fight (we are married, of course fights happen all the time) or if things didn’t go my way or if my past was triggered, I would think of hurting myself. The thoughts would persist until I would act on them – never again to end my life though.

So one day during therapy, my therapist told me that every time I have suicidal thoughts, I will tell myself:

Suicide is off the table. I’m not thinking about that.

That’s all I had to do. It was very clear that I wasn’t going to kill myself. Therefore, I was not going to think about it.

And kid you not. It actually worked.

Initially, I used to say it out loud: I’m not thinking about that.

I still use it for other things. When I start getting overwhelmed about something, I tell myself: I’m not going to think about that.

And it snaps me right out of it.

Authors Note: This is not the only solution. We did a lot of other work to reframe my suicidal tendencies, but this was a major part of it. I’ll be posting more on this soon.

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How therapy helped me fight and stop my suicidal thoughts.

How the therapy went:

My reasons for not committing suicide:

Powerful reasons marriage added for me:

Now what?

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