avatarPolly Clover

Summary

The article discusses the importance of self-compassion and being a good friend to oneself, particularly during moments of self-criticism and hardship.

Abstract

The author reflects on the common tendency to be overly critical of oneself and the transformation they experienced from being their own worst critic to their own best friend. Through introspection, often during solo travel, the author recognized the disparity between the harsh self-judgment and the compassionate advice they would offer to others. Emphasizing the significance of self-love and personal growth, the article encourages readers to practice self-compassion, to treat themselves with the same kindness and understanding they would offer to a friend in need. It highlights that self-compassion is not about perfection but about being aware of one's self-worth and providing oneself with consistent support and empathy, especially in challenging times.

Opinions

  • The author believes that self-criticism can lead to a negative spiral of dwelling and self-doubt, which is detrimental to one's well-being.
  • It is suggested that individuals would benefit from applying the same empathy and caring advice they give to friends to themselves.
  • The author shares a personal revelation that they would not speak to friends or family the way they sometimes speak to themselves when feeling down.
  • There is an emphasis on the idea that everyone deserves love, kindness, and compassion, particularly during difficult times.
  • The article promotes the notion that being one's own best friend is far more beneficial than being one's own worst enemy.
  • The author advocates for the practice of self-compassion as a continuous journey, integral to becoming one's best self.
Photo by Nicole De Khors from Burst

How to Stop Being a Bad Friend to Yourself and Why You Deserve Better

I’m the best friend I’ve ever had.

I get down on myself, how about you?

A while ago, I was chatting with a friend who was giving herself a hard time about something. I responded to her and asked, “If I was going through that, what would you say to me?”

She answered this question with caring and empathetic words.

Oftentimes, we get down on ourselves. I could’ve worked harder on that. I could’ve said something different. I could’ve dressed nicer for that date. I could’ve reacted differently. I could’ve been more productive today.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had my fair share of moments of disappointment in myself for something I did or didn’t do. In those moments, I wasn’t kind to myself. I got into a funky mood and I dwelled for days.

I deserve my own empathy.

Then, one day I stopped being a bad friend to myself. I really am not sure when this switch went off in my brain, but it was during a time when I was traveling solo for some time. It probably happened because I experienced some struggles, had a lot of alone time to think, and was really working to become a better me.

I started realizing that I would never speak to my friends or family the way I spoke to myself when I was down on myself. I am a very empathic person, sometimes too much. I have always been one to want to lift others up, strangers, and loved ones alike.

I truly feel the pain of others and want to provide relief.

I provide words of affirmation, I point out positivity, or sometimes I just let them be in their moment until it passes. Because sometimes we just need to have a moment.

Self-love goes a long way.

So, do you know what I do now? I am also a good friend to myself: the best friend. I provide myself with the same compassion I do for others during times of struggle. This isn’t to say I don’t go back to my old ways sometimes. I’m not perfect.

I am now fully aware that I’m all I’ve got. Not exactly because I know I have loved ones who care. But, I’m all I’ve got one-hundred percent of the time from now until forever, no matter what. I can’t live with myself for forever and not be my own best friend.

Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

We deserve love, kindness, and compassion all the time. But, we need it most during hard times.

Being my own best friend is so much better than being my own worst enemy. You should try it, too!

I’m always working towards being my best self. Check out my journey…

Self Improvement
Self Love
Personal Development
Life Lessons
Personal Growth
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