How to Respond When a Conversation Feels Awkward
That moment when you feel like crawling into a hole.
So what’s the most awkward question you’ve been asked? Some people can be brutal with their curiosity.
I’ve had a guy ask me questions on the first date that I found embarrassing. I don’t know if it was the question or that it came from someone, barely a stranger, that made me angry.
But the ones that broke the camel’s back were, “Do you prefer sex with me or with your ex?” “Have you ever considered having sex with a female?” and “Have you ever farted in an elevator?”
That last one was asked by a female colleague, but still I felt uncomfortable hearing that.
I’m like, what do people think when they come up with these crazy questions?
I told my guy friend of my experience with awkward moments, and he said one of his exes once made fun of his small dick in the middle of sex and recommended some herbal cure to make his dick larger.
I thought mine was bad enough, but hearing his, I could imagine his expression. My thoughts went wild, like was he struggling with putting it in? What made her ask that?
I’m not sure about you, but it’s lame comparing sex between past and present partners. As for having sex with the same sex? I didn’t see where that came from.
I don’t judge people’s choices; still, the idea that someone imagined my involvement with a female surprised me.
I have heard guys tell me I’m harsh when I speak on men-related topics. Some even say I can’t keep a man down with my attitude.
Being in these conversations is embarrassing. For many of us, those awkward moments can linger with us.
It sometimes takes a turn on my mental health. I feel my self-esteem hit low when I get asked these awkward questions.
Experiencing these awkward moments can literally haunt us for the rest of our lives, inspiring endless dark nights where the soul clung to the memory of events decades ago.
Although these people may mean well, it still doesn’t make it okay to listen as they feed their curiosity. So, I decided to map out how I react to these situations without spiraling out of control.
Burst out laughing
When I feel uncomfortable about a situation, I tend to laugh so hard that the person feels embarrassed. This way I don’t get offended by their question, and I get to make them look stupid at the same time.
When that guy asked me if I had ever thought of having sex with a fellow woman, I felt insulted. I don’t know why, but a part of me wondered if I had given him an impression that I liked women or that I hated guys.
When I started laughing like a crazy person, he got embarrassed and tried to control the situation by throwing in another question to change the subject.
Don’t respond in words
I know some people feel insulted when you give them the silent treatment; the same goes for awkward questions. Playing dumb can really piss people off. That’s why I use this trick when I feel like I’m being judged in a conversation.
When next you feel uncomfortable with a question, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everyone has awkward situations.
This is not the first and last time something like this is going to happen. Try to act normal and don’t over-exaggerate its importance.
After a moment of silence, you can change the topic to something more comfortable for the two of you.
Some people are smart to read between the lines when they notice your silence, they may apologize and change the topic themselves.
Give a polite response
Depending on my mood, I can reply to awkward questions politely because sometimes that awkwardness I feel comes from a place of love.
If we didn’t care about other people’s feelings or what they thought of us, there wouldn’t be uncomfortable situations.
Awkward moments are uncomfortable for most of us because we have an innate desire to belong and connect.
Try to remember, even with the situation feels totally cringe-worthy that you feel this way because you care about the quality of your interaction with that person, or you care that you make a good impression.
When my boyfriend compared our sex to my ex’s, I realized his question came from a place of insecurity. I tried not to get mad but addressed his feelings instead.
In the end, he became more comfortable in the relationship and opened about his sexual fantasies.
Make up an excuse
Sometimes it’s best to get away from the present circumstance. If you don’t do so immediately, you could end up hurting their feelings or say something you might regret. If you do need to get away, say, “you need to make a phone call.”
In those awkward moments when I don’t have the energy to argue or when silence looks stupid, I excuse myself pretending that I need to make an urgent phone call and that I will be back, but I don’t come back.
Making an excuse to go to the bathroom will sound lame, and some jerks will find it more amusing. But with a phone call, they don’t follow you, and you can ditch them without getting emotional.
Use the defensive mechanism
When a date once asked me at what age did I lose my virginity? I got so angry and attacked him with shady questions.
I was probably twenty-two when this incident happened. I remember the guy never called me back after that day.
We were flirting, but then things got heated within the short time we’ve known each other. He probably thought he was entitled to know my past and all.
Unfortunate, that was the time my temper acted up without first thinking. Now when I get asked such questions, I usually smile and crack a joke.
If your interactions with such a person are often uncomfortable or offensive, you may want to reevaluate your relationship with that person and set boundaries.
