How To Reset And Prepare Yourself For The New Year
Let go of 2020. 2021 is going to be the year you learn how to thrive.
I can’t wrap my head around the fact that it’s December already, can you?
2020 has been a whirlwind of a year. It’s considered the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression.
I can recall the exact moment that Pinterest showered me with “2020 will be your year” memes. I saved all of them; needless to say; I’m big on New Year’s goal setting.
Everybody experienced 2020 differently; everyone has their own unique circumstances. There’s no shame in saying you didn’t reach any of your goals in 2020; there’s no shame in saying you took a few — or even a hundred steps back.
Who really knows what the new year will bring? I know I’m not the only one worried; if there’s one thing we’ve all learned this past year is that you almost never know what’s coming. You can’t control anything; in fact, you actually have very little control in this world. The only thing you can control really is you.
You’re in control of your emotions, your mindset, your reactions, what you choose to stress over, how you choose to make money, and everything that involves you.
So if you want to take a stand and make 2021 the year that you take control of your own life, here are a few things you can do to reset and prepare yourself for the new year.
But First — Are You Going To Follow The Crowd or Pave Your Own Path?
You might think that January 1st will be just another regular day, you’ll wake up that Friday morning hungover — and you’ll resume your normal day-to-day life without so much as a thought about the new year.
Okay, maybe you’ll have a fitness goal or two. But, when it boils down to doing it, you probably won’t even follow through.
A 1988 study out of the University of Scranton found that while 77% of people who committed to a New Year’s resolution stuck to it for a week, only 19% of those who made resolutions actually fulfilled them within two years.
On top of that, the statistics have only gotten worse over time: According to a survey by Statista, only 4% of people who made New Year’s resolutions in 2018 said they kept them.
Where do you think you’ll end up on that spectrum? How often have you set goals for the new year that never even made it to Valentine’s day?
You might think that January 1st will be just another regular day, but for some — it won’t be.
I know it won’t be for me; I’ve already started on my goals. I’ve ensured that I’m a month ahead because I decided to pave my own path. I’m tired of the excuses, and if there’s one thing I’ll remember from 2020 is that you’re the only one responsible for giving yourself the kind of life that you want.
Nobody else will give it to you, not your parents, not your influencer friends, not your partner, not the universe, and definitely not the government.
You have the ability to choose; you can decide whether or not you’re going to be part of the group that makes it, or you can follow the crowd and give up after a week.
Let Go of 2020 With a Slow And Deep Brain Dump.
What good is it if you bring any of your past failures, anxiety, stress, or frustrations into the new year?
I understand that 2020 sucked. I get that you set goals, made plans, arrangements — you even started working on your new side hustle, but everything went downhill once the pandemic hit.
I was there. I thought 2020 was going to be my year to blossom, learn, grow, and explore. Instead, it turned into a year of a lot of emotional stress, a ton of unmet goals, and a huge side of anxiety.
Here’s the thing though, you don’t have to bring that into the new year. You can decide to put all of that behind you and not only start fresh but start the year off strong by changing your mindset and setting some goals that are both realistic and ambitious.
How you can do it:
Reflection is going to become your new best friend. Sit down with a blank notebook and reflect on how the year has affected you.
This was the first thing I did that really helped me understand what I’m struggling with. I wrote down everything, and it helped me realize things I never considered before. For instance, in March, I lost my job at Yahoo, which at the time was a guaranteed full-time position.
I thought I lost a good opportunity to climb up the corporate ladder, but in reality, life had a different path in mind for me. One that is 10x better and more well suited for me and gives me the freedom I always dreamed of.
I wrote about my struggle with my failing relationship with my father, which made me realize that I had a lot of pain that I needed to deal with instead of continuously sweeping it under the rug.
Write about absolutely everything that you experienced in 2020, don’t suppress anything — your pain, your frustrations, your unmet goals, and all your failures.
After that, rip those pages out, fold them and toss them in the trash. 2020 is over and done with.
Detox Yourself.
When is the last time you went a day without your phone? Or social media? And I’m not talking about you having a few busy days where you didn’t bother to check the newest status updates on Facebook.
I’m talking about the last time you intentionally detached yourself from social media, the news, and everything in between.
Millionaire and Youtuber Alex Becker made a video about how a dopamine detox helped him more than anything in 2020. Dopamine is what motivates you to do things; it’s what makes you excited.
It works just like alcohol — if you’re only getting little hits, little hits will do it for you. If you drink every night, you’re going to need a lot of shots to get drunk. Dopamine releases when you do an activity that is pleasurable or brings rewards. The more anticipation that builds up, the higher are the chances of dopamine being raised.
Something a lot of people don’t know is that dopamine is not an indication of what will genuinely make you happy or feel fulfilled. It’s very easy for your brain to tell you to constantly do things that don’t make you happy or bring you fulfillment.
Dopamine is an extremely poor predictor of what will make you happy. What you actually want to do is rig your brain to receive dopamine and love it from the things that actually make you happy and feel fulfilled.
For example, I used to love reading. There’s really nothing I would choose over a good book. Whenever I would get grounded (which was seldom), it wouldn’t be the TV or friends that got taken away; it would be the current book on my nightstand (they knew that would sting the most).
As I’ve gotten older, I got a bit more interested in things like YouTube and watching TV shows and good movies. I started choosing TV over books more and more frequently, and eventually, it became extremely challenging to focus on reading even a single page.
How you can do it:
Consider it to be a detox for your brain. The rule to follow is to avoid engaging in any activity which you enjoy doing or which stimulates your brain. It could be browsing your phone, avoiding screentime, listening to music, or even engaging in any hobby.
The idea is to devoid the brain of any good happy activity, that, in the end, even a boring activity ends up being fun. That way, the brain starts to love it.
Alex Becker recommends the following:
- Take your phone and delete all social media apps unless your business requires it. In that case, limit it.
Here’s a good rule of thumb, if you have your phone right now or if you continuously have the urge to pick it up, that is dopamine 101. Your brain is literally addicted to dopamine, and you have to learn to break the cycle.
- Put your phone on airplane mode and do not use it.
- Cut out the things in your life that give you dopamine hits (video games, TV, anything that is not related to productivity has to go).
The first two days are going to be the hardest; on day 3–4, that’s when you’re going to start enjoying the things that are actually fulfilling (working out, meditating, reading, working on your business) because your brain is looking for new ways to get dopamine, so it’s going to default to those things.
If it pains you to do something productive and you know you want to do it, but your brain just doesn’t have the willpower to do it, your dopamine addiction is the cause of it, and detoxing is the best option for you.
I’m not saying you can’t watch TV or play video games; I’m saying you need to learn to do it sparingly. However, the more you do it, the less motivation you’ll have for the things you love.
For example, I’m currently working on limiting my phone use. I always have the urge to check my phone; I see it from the corner of my eye right now as I’m typing, and I’m imagining the feel of refreshing my Instagram feed.
I can’t 100% eliminate social media use because I use it for my business, but I am slowly getting better at not using it.
Something else I’ve been working on is eliminating TV — as I mentioned above, I’m a huge movie person, I always want something playing in the background, and ever since lockdown happened, I would turn the TV on as early as 6 am because I liked to have it playing during my workouts.
It really affected me in a negative way because I noticed that my motivation to work after an hour of watching my favorite TV show was declining.
Now, I set boundaries and only allow myself to watch anything at nighttime after all of my work for the day is done.
Reconnect With Your Authentic Self.
Reflection has been playing a massive role in my life the past few weeks.
I’ve been making it a priority to write 2–3 pages every single morning of just my thoughts alone. My angst, my frustrations, how I feel about life, and all of the little thoughts that go through my head that I could never tell anyone. However, there was one session that was different.
I truly bled on the paper that day and acknowledged so much about myself that I wouldn’t have otherwise. It made me wonder:
How well do you really know yourself? How much do you understand about yourself? How connected are you with your inner self?
I’m 23 years old, and I’ve just barely grazed the surface of who I am and who I want to be.
Have you?
Reflection is hard. Self-analysis can feel like you’re sitting alone on the floor in an empty room, picking and poking at all the dark and untouched corners.
Great things never come from comfort zones, and if you want to be great, you’re going to have to poke around quite a bit.
How you can do it:
Meditation: There have been more than 3,000 medical studies to fully validate the actual positive impact that Meditation has on our mental and emotional state. It’s a time for you to envelop yourself fully in just yourself and your own thoughts.
As Naval Ravikant says:
“Meditation is your birthright. It’s your natural state. It requires no one, needs nothing, and has no technique. If something requires a guru, a mantra, or a teaching, it isn’t universal, and it won’t free you.”
Go out in nature: You need an escape. Working in an office or from home 24/7 can be hazardous to your health. Whether it’s a sedentary lifestyle, a lack of sunlight, or indoor air quality concerns, too much time in your office can be harmful.
Another great option is traveling, obviously, with the pandemic, it can be difficult, but safe getaways can be extremely beneficial to your health.
Getting out of town for the weekend can be therapeutic. I always try to plan a weekend trip to a nearby city, that’s a bit more calm and peaceful whenever I want to escape LA.
Loved ones: It’s very easy to lose touch with the people you love most. We often forget that there’s a world outside of the one in the palm of our hands. Get out there and reconnect with people on a deeper level. The right people can help you connect to your most inner and truthful self.
Journaling: Personally, this is my favorite. This is my form of Meditation; it’s a way for me to safely say all of the things I couldn’t otherwise. Try doing this every morning; pour your heart out. You’ll be surprised by what your mind is trying to tell you.
To Sum It Up
You’re here right now, and you have the ability to choose to grow from 2020’s hardships. You have the option to close the book on your past life, your failures, your anxiety, your stress, your pain — and not just put the book away but burn it.
It’s time to start a new story; in fact, it’s time to start writing your own story.
Let Go of 2020 With a Slow And Deep Brain Dump: You don’t have to bring anything from 2020 into the new year. You can decide to put all of that behind you, start fresh and start the year off strong. Sit down with a blank notebook and reflect on how the year has affected you.
Write about absolutely everything, don’t suppress anything — your pain, your frustrations, your unmet goals, and all your failures.
After that, rip those pages out, fold them and toss them in the trash. 2020 is over and done with.
Detox Yourself: Remember, dopamine is not an indication of what will genuinely make you happy or feel fulfilled. It’s very easy for your brain to tell you to constantly do things that don’t make you happy or bring you fulfillment.
You need to learn how to be in control of yourself, not let the world control you.
Reconnect With Your Authentic Self: Spend some time with yourself. Learn about why you think the way you do and how you can truly understand yourself. Don’t enter 2021 with the same anxiety and frustrations; enter 2021 with a new and healed mindset.
One of my absolute favorite quotes is by Blaise Pascal, he says:
“All of humanity’s problems stem from our inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
I couldn’t agree more. Learn to spend time with yourself, learn to be alone with your own thoughts, and gain a better understanding of your inner self.
Good luck. I’m rooting for you.