How to Meditate Even When You Think You’re Super Bad at it
Slowly slide it out of the too-hard basket
Have you already tried meditation and thought…
“I could never get into meditation. I tend to just get the giggles.” “I really want to get into meditation but always feel like I’m super bad at it.” “I used to find box breathing useful I should probably start using it again.”
Me too. I was in the same boat — gave meditation a go because I knew I was supposed to feel better but quickly put it in the too-hard basket.
Here’s a fact that just may come as a surprise to you.
It doesn’t have to be…
There are a few myths with meditation; that you have to be super serious about it or that it has to be performed a certain way. The biggest one being you need to do it a long time to get any benefit.
As I discovered as well, they’re not quite true.
Let’s recap quickly on what meditation is before getting to a little myth-busting.
What is meditation?
First of all, meditation is a deeply personal practice and one of discovery. Headspace likens it to exercise for the brain. Cambridge Dictionary defines it as
For me, my meditation is less in my head and more in the breath. Having practiced it for a while now, I feel like meditation helps declutter my brain.
So if you’re after a spring clean let me help you find a technique that works for you. Once you become comfortable with the idea of it, and see how easy it can be, then you can explore more deeply with others.
But first, why should you care?
According to LiveandDare.com who have reviewed and disseminated over 100 scientific papers on meditation and summarised 76 benefits. Here are the highlights.
Mind
- 10% increased focus
- Improved memory retention and recall
- Improved decision making & problem solving
- Improved creative thinking
Body
- Improved immunity and energy levels
- Improved breathing and heart rate
- Reduced blood pressure
Emotional
- 75% less depression
- 30% less anxiety
- 65% more wellbeing
- Improved resilience to pain and adversity
- Improved optimism and relaxation
- Helps reduce emotional eating
- Helps develop positive social connections
It’s likely that you’re well aware of these at some level but there may be something else that’s stopping you?
If you are interested — but there’s other thoughts that are holding you back then let’s talk about the main ones.
A little myth-busting
I need to be super serious
Meditation is a deeply personal practice and one of discovery. There is no one watching you to see if you are being serious or flaky about it. The only person that matters is you. It’s actually not ignoring an itchy nose or being super quiet. It’s about giving your attention to one thing; be it your breath, your senses or a sensation. Let that be the focus and allow other expectations to fade away.
I know, it’s easier said than done.
But give it a go for 5 minutes and lower those expectations as you start out.
I have to perform it a certain way
Many people stop meditating soon after starting because they think they’re doing it wrong. Yet, there is no wrong way to meditate. If your mind wanders randomly or you’re being distracted, it’s a natural and human thing to do. I’ll be honest, it happens to the rest of us. Allow yourself to ‘think the thought’ and return back to your point of focus.
I have to do it for a long time
Start small and build it up slowly. There’s no race and no finish line. Start with 5 minutes a day for a week. Notice how you feel after that week.
If you’re even just a little bit more convinced then please read on.
Here are 3 simple meditations to try even when you think you’re super bad at it
If you’re new to meditation or even just after a refresh, here’s 3 simple techniques for you to test drive.
These are:
1. Walking Meditation
2. Shower Meditation
3. Grape Meditation
None of them need you to sit down in lotus pose trying to empty your mind. Rather, they weave the practice of meditation into an existing behaviour like walking or eating.
They’re great when you’re just starting out. And hot tip, these are so simple they can be a great activity to learn and practice with kids.
1. Walking Meditation
For most of us, walking comes as naturally to us as breathing. Take this everyday action and pay closer attention to each feeling and sensation as it happens, without judging it as good or bad can reduce stress. Note, this has been adapted from a guided walking meditation led by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD. Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
- Find a place that allows you to walk back and forth for 10 steps. It can be outside in your backyard or even inside the home in the hallway. The goal is to practice intention as you walk.
- Take 10 steps in one direction. Your steps are small and the pace is slowed down. Pause and breathe in for 3 cycles or as long as you like. Walk back and retrace your steps to the start. Pause and breathe again.
This is the important part. Increase your awareness to your sensations and feelings like:
- Pay attention to your breath as it comes in through your nose and out through the nose.
- Lifting your foot up
- Shifting the weight of your body forward as you take your step and place your foot heel first.
- Notice the contact between your foot and floor or ground
- Notice the sounds nearby or those caused by your movement.
Walking at a much slower pace may take some adjustment, especially if you’re used to rushing around. Let’s think about it another way, when we take a behaviour that already exists like walking and make a tiny tweak to it, like slowing down the pace — it’s more likely to stick.
2. Shower Meditation
- After undressing, take a few slow, deep breaths. Notice the coolness of the air enter through your nostrils. Feel your chest and belly expand. Slowly exhale, feel your chest and belly return to their resting state. Exhale fully. Repeat this slow, deep breathing 3–5 times.
- Enter the shower and sense the shape of the tap in your hand as you turn the water on.
- Notice the stream of water and the sounds as it cascades down.
- Feel the temperature of the water change from cold to hot to just right as you adjust it.
- Step into the water and feel the water as it runs down your body.
- Visualise yourself being showered with good, clean energy.
- Now stand tall. Keep your feet grounded to the floor by having all four corners of your feet in contact with the floor.
- Close your eyes.
- Take a deep breath in through your nose and shrug your shoulders keeping them near your ears.
- As you breathe out with your mouth open, say ‘ha….’ as your shoulders slowly lower down.
- With each exhale, visualise yourself slowly lowering your shoulders.
- Repeat this for 8–10 exhales.
- Continue to notice the sensation of the water on your body, the sound of the water flowing down your back, the smell of your shampoo…
- Visualise the water taking away your stress, your fears and anger — taking it all down the drain.
- Feel lighter when you turn the tap off.
3. Grape Meditation
By paying close attention to each of the sensations you gain a greater sense of control of your thoughts, feelings and actions in the moment. This practice can also help tune into your body’s hunger cues and increase the potential for enjoyment while eating. Note, this has been adapted from the raisin meditation developed by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD. Center for Mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts Medical School.
- Hold Take a grape and hold it between your finger and thumb.
- See Imagine the grape is an exotic piece of fruit. You’ve never seen one before. Take time to really focus on it, seeing it with full attention. Notice the smoothness, where the light shines — any unique features.
- Touch Close your eyes as you roll the grape over with your fingers. Notice the texture, the plumpness, the firmness.
- Smell Now hold the grape to your nose. Take a deep inhale and notice any aroma or fragrance. As you do this, notice if your body responds to the smell. Perhaps saliva is starting to wet your tongue or your stomach stirs a little.
- Place on the tongue Gently place the grape in your mouth, without chewing. Notice the sensations of having it in your mouth.
- Taste When you are ready, take one or two bites and notice how the texture changes and how the taste changes.
- Swallow Notice if there was a subconscious desire to swallow, before you actually swallow the raisin
- Notice if you can feel what is left of the grape moving down your throat to your stomach. Sense how you feel after this exercise.
Final thoughts
You’re tried meditation before to stop feeling burnt out and overwhelmed and it didn’t work. I get it.
I’ve also come to see that meditation is not a ‘one size fits all’ solution — it’s a deeply personal practice and one of discovery. If you’re anything like me, you’ll love the walking meditation because you’re not trying to squeeze in something extra in your over scheduled day.
Increasing your awareness while you’re already out walking or (even eating a piece of fruit) will kick start a new habit that will help ease that stress one step at a time.
So let me ask, can you loosen the expectations that mediation needs to be performed a certain way? Start small. Start with 5 minutes today.
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Originally published at https://www.sevensundaysyoga.com on May 14, 2020.
