How To Make Tim Denning Clap, Follow, and Leave a Wonderful Comment on Your Story

A bragging storm has been brewing in my head since Tim Denning clapped for my stories

‘F*ck decency,’ I thought. I may win a No-Bell Prize someday, but at this time, I am just a struggling writer. One of those extras who say one line in a Tom Cruise movie (that is edited out in the final cut of the film. And you come to know about it in the theatre where you have taken ten of your friends to tell them that this was the break you were looking for).

Once upon a time — or four days ago — I woke up, grabbed my cup of coffee, sat in my favorite kitchen chair, and started checking my stats. Lo and behold, the legendary Tim Denning himself had clapped for my stories — not one or two or three but four f****** stories.

I almost fell from the chair — with excitement — after reading his great comment on my story. But then I jumped with joy — and spilled my coffee on my pajamas — he had actually followed me too. Oh my god, it was a dream. But the hot coffee stinging on my thigh proved that it was real.

I wanted to write about it immediately. I hit the record button on my iPhone voice recorder app and noted my feelings before they could fade.

But… then I stopped myself from writing the story — to pretend to be decent — until I felt the intensity of the brewing bragging storm getting out of control.

I had finally found the best “how-to” story of the century — okay, the year: how to make Tim Denning clap, follow, and comment on your story — please note that this might very well have been a fluke.

Here are some serious and not-so-serious tricks that may or may not convince Tim Denning to clap — but there is no harm in trying:

1. Write a lot

Write until people know you are serious. If you throw one or two shy, half-baked articles now and then, people think you are just another amateur.

Writers, who earn lots of money, write until their fingers hurt. Until their mind screams for a break — at least initially.

Once people know you have a voice — and you have a unique opinion — they may be willing to have a look at your latest piece.

I have no superpower or unique gift for writing. Over the last six years, I have published thousands of blog posts on the internet. ~ Tim Denning

2. Screw decency

If decency means pretending to be a writer, screw decency.

When a writer pretends to be a writer, his or her work becomes affected. It becomes difficult to read and hard to swallow.

Sometimes I pretend to be a writer, and those are my worst stories. Whenever I can let go of my wish to sound good, the piece sounds good.

What is the right way to screw decency? Read Tim Denning’s stories and then contrast them with your writing.

It is so easy to delude yourself and think that everyone is actively taking a seat in the audience of your life, and watching your every move and listening to your every word. ~Tim Denning

3. Act like you

I know you are not extraordinary — when you judge yourself. Do you think Elvis Presley felt special when he was with himself? Or did Steve Jobs feel special when he was doing things? We live with ourselves 24/7. We don’t notice anything out of the ordinary when we see ourselves.

But in fact, all of us are special. Believe in yourself.

Your truth does not apply just to you. It is correct for a large group of people. They’d love to read the work of a writer who thinks like them.

There are only thousands of areas of our lives — because we live for 25 thousand days. But there are billions of people living on our planet. Every area of our life interests has around 1 million subscribers. Imagine if 1 million people bought your book about ‘bird watching.’

One of the reasons my friend made $400K from a simple eBook is that my friend believed in himself. Later went on to charge up to $1,500 per hour for coaching. This was his belief again that separated him from your typical blogger, like me. ~ Tim Denning

4. Read all his stories and clap like a mad man or woman

If you want to read only one story in one day, find one written by Tim Denning. He has written one for every occasion and every problem you may face in your life.

When you are reading his stories, don’t judge his piece until you finish reading. Then if you like his insights — and his easy-to-implement tips — you can go ahead and clap until your fingers hurt.

Here are two to practice your clapping skills:

5. Mention his name in your stories to the point where he almost blocks you

This one is easy. Tim has shared his practical wisdom about almost all the topics that people want to read. If there is a word in the dictionary, he has — probably — written a story about it in the last six years.

He produced so much content that folks at LinkedIn thought he was a group of people posting their work under one name.

When you read his stories, note down his best and most juicy sentences. If you feel your piece is sounding insipid or tedious, use those juicy bits to perk up your story.

For example, I have used these three in my stories:

1. Headline obsession is just creative masturbation in disguise.
2. If all your stories look the same, “format like an out-of-control Kardashian fan who spotted Kim with Kanye.”
3. Many writers [who are writing for Newsbreak] are going to get caught with their pants down.

6. Believe in a higher power to force Tim Denning’s hand to hit the clap 👏 icon.

This is a difficult one. It requires a complete reimagining of your spiritual universe.

There are higher powers, like gravitational forces and strong nuclear forces, but I am not talking about them.

I am talking about believing in a deity like Zeus or Ram or Ra. If you are a Christian visit the place you visited as a child — the one they call a church. If you are a jew, visit a synagogue. Muslims can attend the collective prayers in a mosque.

But whatever your way of convincing the higher power, just try to use three words more powerfully in your prayer: “Make Tim Denning Clap,” if you count Tim Denning as one word.

Final Thoughts

If you follow these techniques for a month or two, you may be writing a story thanking me.

Here is a sample of the notification and comment that Tim Denning might leave after reading your story — only if you implement the advice correctly 😜 :

This is how 50 claps look like when Tim’s fingers hit that stubborn button for fifty times:

I have a license to brag. If Medium issued certificates for writing — some kind of validation — then Tim Denning’s comment makes me a Tim-Certified-Writer.

The red marks on my upper thigh — where the coffee stung my skin — will be a happy mark of the ‘clap bite’ when Tim Denning touched my soul. Just kidding.

Enjoy mastering the techniques anyway 😃.

Please read my curated stories as they “are a pleasure to read,” according to Tim Denning 😝 .

Update on March 17, 2021: Tim Denning read this story and commented,

“I clapped for the stories because they were good. Good art needs to be appreciated and acknowledged despite the artist’s name. This is why I love Medium. It doesn’t matter who you are. All that matters is your story.”

Thanks, Tim.