RELATIONSHIPS

How to Make Someone Deeply Obsessed With You

Yes, there is a method for everything.

First of all, you cannot make everyone obsessed with you because not everyone will like you — they need to be naturally attracted to you first.

Also, to create an intense obsession, the person needs to have a lack in their lives; loneliness, insecurities, unresolved trauma, lack of close bonds, etc.

If you try these tactics on someone who is already happy and fulfilled, you may still be able to create a strong attraction, but they will never become obsessed. So if your goal is to create obsession, you need to pick your targets accordingly.

Here are the traits and behaviours that will help you seduce someone:

The Madonna/Whore Personality

“The less you seem to need other people, the more likely others will be drawn to you.” ― Robert Greene

This personality has the following traits;

• Promiscuity
• Self-trashing behaviours (reckless, impulsive, irresponsible, amoral, etc)
• Full proud disclosure of the above two traits (shamelessness)
• High level of personality organisation (high self-esteem)
• High self-efficacy

The reason why this personality type is so attractive is to do with the danger it presents. Danger can be immensely seductive if appropriately used at the correct dose. If you have this personality, people have either no or minimal ability to control you, which is where the “danger” comes from. We all need to feel like we have some control over our environment. When you have a personality style that is difficult to control, it will induce anxiety in the other person.

If you are promiscuous, it means you can sleep with other people. If you are disinhibited, you can engage in reckless and unpredictable behaviours. If you have no sense of shame, people cannot shame you into behaving in a socially acceptable way. If you have high self-esteem, they can’t create emotional dependence in you, and if you are self-efficacious, you have no financial dependence on others they can use against you.

Each of these traits cuts off a potential way someone can gain control over you. I’m not suggesting you become promiscuous if you are not already, but you can always improve your self-esteem and work towards becoming more self-efficacious. You do not have to be 100% independent and uncontrollable, but the more independent and difficult to control you are, the more attractive you will be to others.

Bad Guy/Girl Traits Mixed With Innocence

Think about all the famous sex symbols such as Marilyn Monroe and Bettie Page. They were Madonna/Whores who exuded a child-like innocence in addition to their sexuality. You need the appearance of innocence because plain “whores” are unattractive. For example, if you overtly play the manipulative woman who is a gold digger, no one will like you. The innocence and naivety you must project are to get the other person to trust you and, most importantly, let their guard down around you.

You will put people off if you are perceived as angling for anything other than pleasure. You must ensure people never suspect you of any ulterior motive. For example, I see a lot of women expecting to be treated on the first date — I would suggest letting go of that expectation and even offering to pay for half of everything. Think of it as if you are there only for the pleasure of the other person’s company. This attitude on its own is immensely seductive. People will feel relaxed around you and want to see you again because they won’t feel like they are being pressured into anything.

Cold Coquette

“To understand the peculiar power of the Coquette, you must first understand a critical property of love and desire: the more obviously you pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away.” ― Robert Greene

Seduction is all about fantasy — it’s not based on reality because reality is dull and unattractive. You must get the other person to fantasize about you, which they can only do if you give them the space for it. People think someone may forget about them when they are absent, whereas, in fact, the opposite is true. A hint of coldness is the most crucial element in seduction because it will induce insecurity in the other person. It will make people wonder whether you like them or not, which will force them to think about you. Seduction is all about penetrating someone’s mind. You must slowly get the other person to think about you more and more until they eventually reach a point where you are the only thing in their mind.

Do not show people too much attention or interest early on — this will make you look insecure and do the opposite of what you want. Instead, send mixed signals. Be present when you’re with them; talk a lot, ask questions a lot, be very interested, but withdraw when you’re away; do not initiate contact, space out your text messages, etc. Once you have induced some insecurity, the other person will try to approach you to see if you respond. In other words, the coldness will get people to chase, and the more they pursue, the more attached they will become.

Mirroring

This is where being a bit of a people pleaser comes in handy. When you are first trying to seduce someone, I would advise you to simply forget about yourself initially. Do not be self-absorbed like most people. Instead, focus on the other person 100% and get inside their skin. See the world through their eyes. Pay attention to what they like, and dislike, their strengths and weaknesses, secret desires, and anything to do with their psychology.

You should be asking yourself: “How do I get this person to like me?” every time you meet someone. Figure out what they need from you and give it to them. This could be validation, attention, or acceptance. Acceptance is the most important one because everyone yearns to be accepted. Find out their deep dark secrets, expose them, and show them that you accept them for it. This will be immensely seductive.

I have discussed how to mirror people in detail here:

The Golden Child

“According to Freud (who was speaking from experience, since he was his mother’s darling), spoiled children have a confidence that stays with them all their lives.” ― Robert Greene

In childhood, spoiled children learn that people will like them and be drawn to them just like their parents. This causes them to develop a certain attitude when they are around people, which attracts people. These children have an innate self-love that most people lack, which shows in their attitude. Seduction is all about your attitude. You will repel if you have low self-esteem and insecurities, whereas high self-esteem and self-sufficiency will attract.

Defensive Warfare

“The spider has no need to chase for food, or even to move. It quietly sits in the corner, waiting for its victims to come to it on their own, and ensnare themselves in the web.” ― Robert Greene

Seduction is all about defensive warfare because it’s a female strategy. It was devised by women who had no power in the past, and they needed a way to establish control over their environment: men.

Through seduction, they could make these men dependent on them and their approval. But they had to do this without making them aware that they were acting under their influence. Most people hate being controlled by others — if they catch on, they will turn against you. So the way to seduce is to make the other person think they are in control.

You do not chase in seduction. You get the other person to chase you. You must cover up your own aggressive tendencies and let people believe they are the aggressors. You need to appear weaker, but in the end, you have the power if you have the ability to resist.

Do not worry if you are dealing with individuals who seem aggressive and dominant. For instance, men who play tough guys have a secret desire to submit. Powerful men often have a masochistic streak. Even though they may seem to want to dominate women outwardly, they will often end up with a woman who clearly controls them. This is why you should learn to read people accurately and give them exactly what they want. Do not buy into appearances — they will only deter you from the truth.

How to avoid falling victim to this form of seduction:

Never chase people. Period. Get them to do the chasing. If someone doesn’t chase you after two dates (or even just one), walk away. It’s much easier to let go of someone in the beginning than later down the line.

Next, improve your self-esteem and confidence. Do everything you have to rid yourself of your insecurities. If you are confident and your self-esteem is not dependent on other people around you, these tactics won’t work on you. Try to develop an attitude where people can come in and out of your life, but you are okay with it. In other words, do not let people create emotional dependence in you.

Can you seduce someone this way and go on to having a healthy relationship later down the line?

Yes. Use this method (especially being cold and dismissive) during the first month and get the other person to chase. Then slowly start initiating more and more. This should create strong attraction but not an obsession, provided, of course, there is a natural chemistry between you and your target.

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