How to Make Money With NFTs
Like any other scam, NFTs can be pretty lucrative. But they require time, energy, and friends.
Today we’ll detail three reliable strategies to make money with NFTs.
The pump and dump
For this part, I’ll need the help of my good friends Kristine and Kristen.
- Step 1: I take a picture of a worthless piece of nothing and sell it as newly created non-ephemerous digital art.
- Step 2: Kristine buys it for 70 units of currency. We’ll call the currency gullibollars in the rest of this article.
- Step 3: Kristen buys it for 350 gullibollars.
- Step 4: Kristine buys it back for 1,500 gullibollars.
This newly created non-ephemerous digital art is now HOT. Did you see how the price increased in the last month? It’s an exciting opportunity for a savvy investor — for example, my new best friend, Bob.
- Step 5: I call Bob and tell him all about this thrilling potential deal. I explain how Kristine is a good friend of mine that’s having unfortunate money issues at the moment.
She’s ready to give a discount.
If Bob pays tomorrow, she can go as far as a 75% discount. YES! You heard that right, Bob, Kristine is willing to sell this 1,500 gullibollars worth of fabulous digital art for only 375 gullibollars. Bargain.
I know, it sounds too good to be true. It breaks Kristine’s heart, but she’s in a tough place at the moment. That’s why she’s ready to sell this powerful contemporary creation for such a ridiculous price.
- Step 6: Bob’s fascinated and greedy. Bob shells out the 375 gullibollars and becomes the proud owner of all the hype me and my friend built around a virtual worthless piece of crap.
Lots of love to Bob! From Kristine, Kristen, and myself. To be precise, it’s 70% of love from me, and two times 15% from Kristine and Kristen.
The social proofing — fixed-rate version
In marketing terms, we call this brand awareness. It doesn’t have a direct call to action, but it makes the whole product much more exciting for everybody. Also, it brings in some new clients and best friends forever like Bob.
- Step 1: Give 11 million gullibollars to the — powerful — friend of your choice.
- Step 2: Ask your friend to buy this exclusively epic piece of digital art for 10 million gullibollars.
- Step 3: Receive an NFT thank-you note for the 1 million gullibollars your friend kept.
The best part is that your friend doesn’t have to break their back transporting the “art” from your place to their palace; it’s all virtual. Except for the million gullibollars they kept, of course.
I can hear some people in the back doubting this is true. Please. What other reason would you have to buy this “CryptoPunk #5822” for more than $20 million? Tax deduction?
The social proofing — commission-based scheme
Some people say this is psychological manipulation and good old-fashioned sales, but I prefer to talk about conviction and passion for sharing.
- Step 1: Ask your famous friend to promote your NFT release on their socials.
- Step 2: Welcome the best friends of your friend as your friends and sell them some juicy piece of digital wonder.
- Step 3: Send the commission in gullibollars to your famous friend. The amount should vary according to the number of “Bobs” they sent your way.
Non-Fungible Takeaway
To make money with NFTs you need friends:
- Ordinary friends with whom you share the benefits of scamming strangers
- Famous and greedy friends that are ready to accept a fee in exchange for buying an NFT and getting a tax deduction because “art.”
- Slightly less famous, but still greedy, friends willing to put their name in the balance and take a commission on the sale of your NFTs
That’s it for today, Folks! Now that you know the basics, go wild in the metaverse, and get rich!
Smillew is a Medium artist who writes mainly about social justice, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him, he’ll show up in your feed.
