How To Know If You’re Wasting Your Time On A Selfish Man
Nothing is worse than dating a selfish man.
When you love someone, you will want them to show you the same passion and respect you give them.
An old friend once told me how her husband disrespects her in front of their guests and in public.
One day, we went shopping together. On our way home, we bumped into her husband. He requested we join him for lunch.
My friend tried to make up an excuse because she wanted to avoid triggering her husband’s temper, but her husband insisted.
I was shocked when my friend’s husband asked for my number. He was very blunt and shameless, complimenting my boobs in front of his wife.
I was embarrassed and walked out on him. My friend tried to follow, but he pulled her back into the chair before she could take a second step.
I was already irritated by his arrogance, so I left without defending my friend. I didn’t have the energy to get into a lovers’ quarrel.
Another friend came crying to me about her husband and his mistresses; how he brings in other women into their bedroom without her consent.
He will have her sleep in the children’s bedroom whenever his girlfriend spends the night in their house.
What pains me more is that my friends are not some low lifers without jobs or integrity.
They are high-value intelligent women with secured financial investments. Women with a respectable reputation based on their consistency to keep their words.
They are known amongst their friends and family as people who are dependable. Women who show self-respect, class, appreciation, and etiquette. They don’t let their moods affect their manners.
They were both raised in strong religious homes. One is a Muslim who does believe divorce brings shame to the woman.
While the second one is a devoted Catholic who thinks a man has the right to carry as many wives as he wants.
Most women tolerate men who treat them as trash either out of love or duty. They think they are responsible for the man’s emotions, to keep him happy at all times.
If your man isn’t respecting your feelings and values in the relationship, it is partly your fault.
When you are in a romantic relationship with someone, you cannot control what they think.
You can partially control what they do, but you have full control over how you respond to their words and actions. So if you are dating or married to someone who does not value you sufficiently, you need to decide what to do.
You can choose to do nothing and continue tolerating their excesses, or you can choose to leave them and find someone else who will value you.
These choices may sound easy, but they are not. Because when you are in love, your mind will come up with excuses to discard the red flags you see.
Signs he’s not worth your time
One of the qualities that define a long and healthy relationship is mutual respect.
You know that you have a partner for life, and for as long as there is mutual trust, respect, and consideration, your relationship can only blossom from there.
A good man will make it clear by how he treats you and talks to you that he values you as his partner and person. But if a man takes you for granted — he does not value you or your feelings, and he cares less about your opinion, sis, it is time for him to experience the deep pain of losing you.
If you suspect that he is taking you for granted and doesn’t appreciate the time and resources you’ve invested in the relationship, these signs will help clear up your doubts about his feelings for you.
He makes plans without considering your schedule
If your man expects you to drop everything to adhere to his schedule, that’s a sign that he’s taking your time, availability, and interest for granted.
If this is a frequent habit, talk to him about it. Let him know he should speak to you first before making any plan that involves you so that your schedule is as prioritized as his.
He makes you feel bad about yourself
If your man makes you feel bad for experiencing how you feel, that’s a problem. Whether he picks his friends over you, makes decisions he knows will upset you, or acts like a jerk, if he always disrespects you without feeling guilty for his actions, then you need to re-evaluate your relationship at once.
He should contribute to your happiness and well-being, not destroy them. So if you feel like you’re being taken for granted in this regard, it may be time to move on.
He doesn’t protect you
If your man doesn’t protect you from the little and big things in life, you should be worried about his intentions.
Men are built with a hero instinct. They seek relationships that allow them to feel like protectors.
So if you’re dating or married to a man who doesn’t defend you for external or internal attacks, obviously, he doesn’t value your worth in his life.
He gushes about is flamboyant life
Just because a man looks good, wears a shiny new suit, wears a pair of alligator boots from Tomford, drives a shiny new car, and has a new Rolex on his wrist doesn’t mean he’s a good man.
A man who is overly concerned with himself and his material things has no room to value you. He will always put his needs before yours. Money, work, and self-image will always be their priority before their feeling for you.If he tries to buy your love or sex by showering you with gifts, you can be sure he sees you as a cheap woman with no self-worth.
He does not consider your feelings
Some people are bad with communication. When you send them a text, they take forever to reply, that is, if they reply at all.
Some won’t call you for days, and when you do, they never return your call until they need something from you. If your man always makes excuses for missing appointments with you, not returning your calls or texts on time, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. A man who values you will always make an effort to bridge communication gaps in your relationship.
He defaults to threats when he’s upset
Most women tolerate things in the name of love which ruins their happiness and chances of finding someone more deserving of them. You need to feel safe and comfortable enough to be around your man and not walk on eggshells all the time. If her man always threatens to end the relationship whenever you have a fight, no matter how small the problem, it’s a sign that you are wasting your time with an emotionally damaged man.
He will never value your worth, and the best thing you can do for yourself is to accept his offer, break up with him and move on.
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