How to Keep Calm When You’re Feeling Chaotic
3 simple science-backed techniques you can use now
This morning I sat quietly with my coffee, just brooding on how the chaos outside was making me feel a bit chaotic on the inside.
It’s difficult watching the news — with the sheer amount of chaos unfolding. With what’s happening here in our own country — as well as abroad, heightening our collective panic.
Uncertainty in the mind and a dash of fear in our hearts.
“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.”— Rumi
I sense a light touch on my right hand. I look up and meet the brown eyes of my seven year old. He’s home because the school term ended early.
He asks me about the virus and if I know what’s going to happen. I reply with, ‘Are you worried?’ He nods. We continue to look at each other and then I ask if he wants to do box breathing together. He says ‘Yes.’
So we do.
If you’re also feeling like you’re being swept away by current events or just finding things scary and bizarre then you may find the list below helpful.
Starting with Box Breathing, I’ve curated 3 simple science-backed techniques you can start using today to keep calm even when you’re feeling like things are a little chaotic.
These are:
Box Breathing 5–4–3–2–1 Sensory Technique Journaling
What is Box Breathing?
According to medicalnewstoday.com “Box breathing is a powerful, yet simple, relaxation technique that aims to return breathing to its normal rhythm.”
For me, it’s a technique that helps me tune in and deepen my breathing. I found out about Box Breathing and meditation when my stress levels were peaking.
When I first started it helped to imagine creating the shape of a square box as I’m breathing in, gently holding it for a pause, breathing out and then pausing again. All to an even count. I’ve specified a count of 4 but if you’re comfortable with the practice you can extend it out for a longer count.
It’s simple to do and makes your breath your focus.
Here’s how to do it:
Benefits:
There is a growing body of evidence on the benefits of having a breathing practice such as:
- reduces anxiety and stress
- relieves emotional exhaustion caused by job burnout
- increases focus
“Box breathing bleeds off excess stress, and gives you a handy, on-demand tool, to avoid taking on any more stress than you can handle.” - Mark Divine, former NavySeal Commander
Anyone from seven year olds to Navy Seals can learn and use Box Breathing with immediate calming benefits.
From a singular focus on the breath to create a physiological change in our bodies, we then dwell in the present with the next technique.
What is the 5–4–3–2–1 Sensory Technique?
Simply put, it’s a list that directs our mind to what’s real, present and now rather than let our mind get whisked away with chaotic what if’s.
It counts through each of our senses starting with what we can see, touch, hear, smell and taste. Some may be tempted to just list objects in the room, which is fine — at the start.
But, if we push ourself to notice — really notice and sit with the details, we may begin to fully inhabit the present.
Here’s how to do it:
Take a look around you and note:
5 things you can see 4 things you can feel 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste
Sitting with the details is like this,
- I see the glossy reflection in the glass coffee table,
- I touch the satisfyingly smooth texture of my fingernails,
- I hear the vroom vroom of the car as it passes through,
- I smell a subtle vanilla scent on my skin,
- I taste the linger of peppermint tea on my tongue.
Repeat the sequence as many times as you need. Notice how you feel after each time.
Benefits:
It’s not a magic trick, nor is it a silver bullet to all our problems — but it is a small and sure way of rooting us to what’s real and present.
“Bringing our attention to our senses grounds us in the present and counting the items interrupts the spinning of our thoughts.” — Ellen Hendriksen, clinical psychologist
From the present of our presence, we halt the sprint through life by putting pen to paper with this third technique.
Journaling
I have an endless love affair with journaling. For many years, I would scribble down what’s on my mind or I write down quotes or words and passages that spark ideas. This is freeform — going with the flow of thought.
More recently, I’ve worked with journal prompts to help uncover what is true to me. I liken it to a conversation with my intuition — and it’s very therapeutic.
Here’s 25 best journal prompts for self-discovery:
Benefits:
According to Positive Psychology, journaling:
- Improves the way our brain processes information
- Helps shift our perspective when we look over what we’ve written and reflect on it
- Reduces the over thinking of events and uncertainties and helps plan out action
That’s why I do it.
“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them” - Maya Angelou
Final thoughts
Only a few weeks ago, you may have exhausted yourself trying to inform friends and family about how serious things were quickly getting.
You may have been feeling conflicted by the media overhyping the news but also terrified by how badly we could get hit.
You may have even gotten angry or frustrated with seeing empty shelves in supermarkets because others took more than they needed.
Exhausted. Conflicted. Frustrated.
Chaotic.
But there is a silver lining in this. We don’t need magic tricks or silver bullets. We can look to what we already have — within us and among us…
Breath. Five senses. Pen and paper.
When we bring a systematic approach to these with the techniques that have been outlined — with daily practice, we can learn to keep calm when things are chaotic.
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