How To Have Healthy Parasocial Relationships Online

Why We Consider Influencers ‘Friends’ Even Though We Haven’t Met Them

We’ve all seen that person who is constantly glancing their phone while they are talking to you.

I’ve been that person before and I’m pretty sure you have as well.

It seems that with today’s technological communication, we would rather text a friend than call them. With the rise of social media and influencer culture, our in person social interactions are being substituted for parasocial relationships. Never in human history, have we had more opportunities to connect with others online in real time, especially with the onset of livestreaming.

What is Twitch Livestreaming?

The introduction of Twitch, a video live streaming service launched in 2011, bought by Amazon has skyrocketed to popularity. It now boasts 9.7 million active users and is the 31st most popular website.

The site allows people to broadcast their video gameplay on a live stream which is popular with gamers. Streamers will typically have two videos going at once; one capturing their gameplay and the other capturing the streamer.

This allows the viewers to know the streamer’s personality and how they interact with a certain video game. In that way, you create a digital bond with a certain streamer where it feels like your having a video chat with a friend via the live chat box.

This forms a one sided parasocial relationship where you feel like you know your favourite streamer like you would with someone in real life.

Parasocial relationships is where the viewer becomes emotionally attached and invested in the media persona who doesn’t return the same emotion or even knows that the viewer exists.

These forms of illusory friendships that are created in the digital space have been thriving but why?

Why do people engage in parasocial relationships?

A study showed that people engage in parasocial relationships for companionship and social interaction where they see the influencer express feelings of affection, encouragement and gratitude. In turn the viewer gives loyalty to the online persona.

This gives the viewer a sense of ‘knowing’ about the influencer’s personal life and gives the parasocial interaction a sense of high reward (if they respond to your message) without any feeling of rejection.

What is its effect on human relationships?

Especially in today’s digital age, parasocial relationships do have benefits.

• They provide a sense of reliability with the influencer as they share similar interests and passions.
• It creates a sense of belonging with the influencer, as the audience is able to watch their lives on a screen.
• Influencers can be a source of motivation and inspiration for the audience.
• They can give their audience social connection as they engage with the influncer via comments or direct messages.

However, parasocial relationships can become toxic when taken to the extremes.

An example is when a Redditor of ‘TA1381’ asked for advice on his Twitter to meet and hopefully start dating a female Twitch streamer. The 22 yr old male had explained that he had been watching her streams quite often and had “grown to like her”. He went on to explain that he also liked her personality because she was “into stuff like gaming, Star Wars and some of the other ‘nerdy’ things”.

TA1381 didn’t want to message the Twitch streamer on social media. So in order to gain her attention, he planned to get employed at a vitamin store where she goes to and hope to strike up a conversation.

Fortunately, responses to TA1381 have told him to shut it down saying that this behaviour qualifies as stalking.

And this is just one example out of many others. So, how we do have health relationships online that don’t become obsessions?

How can we have healthy parasocial relationships online?

Get Inspiration From Influencers

Watching particular influencers that you have commonality with can be a good role model for you.

Whether you can relate to an influencer’s beliefs, hobbies or aspire to achieve their success, these people can show what’s possible with perseverance and dedication.

They can teach you how to pursue a particular hobby or skill, which in turn can motivate you to action.

Spend time with people in real life

In it’s essence, parasocial relationships are one sided, where the viewer knows information about the influencer as if they were a ‘friend’.

However, having face to face communication with people in real life is crucial to maintain mutual friendships.

That reciprocal nature of real life conversations are the framework to creating genuine connections with others, where you both understand each other instead of a one sided, online relationship with a influencer.

Remember that social media doesn’t reflect reality

Influencers' only show what they want to show to their audience. They won’t show when they have bad days, when they feel depressed or when they have drama in their personal lives (with the exception of a few influencers).

These online celebrities only show their highlight reels because that’s their work. Their job is to create entertaining videos for their fans to watch when they want to relax.

Therefore, their content is a carefully crafted, cookie-cutter image of what the Influencer what’s to portray to the internet. There will always be behind the scenes work that fans don’t see because in reality their lives are probably just like the rest of us.

Conclusion

With the rise of Influencer culture on social media particularly with livestreaming, its natural for humans to form parasocial relationships with those we see on screen.

However, these parasocial relationships can become obsessive when its out of check. Hence, we as online users need to create healthy relationships with people both on the internet and in real life.

Here’s a recap on how:

• Get Inspiration and Motivation from Influencers
• Spend Time with People in Real Life
• Remember that Social Media Doesn’t Reflect Reality