How To Have A Good Life
Tips for finding happiness even during challenging times
This last year has been unbelievably difficult for me. My guess is that it’s been tough for you too.
The losses I’ve faced have forced me to reflect on my life and rediscover some important truths. I’m sharing what I’ve learned because I believe it can help you make it through your own challenging times. Here are my top coping strategies:
Remember that love is the most important component of a good life.
No matter what else is going on in your life, nurture and celebrate the relationships that make your life worth living. Spend time with the people you truly care about. Make sure your loved ones know how much they mean to you. Even if they live far away, reach out to them regularly. FaceTime and Zoom make it possible to still see each other when you can’t get together in person. Texting is also great for quick check-ins and sharing photos.
Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.
The truth is that I usually fail miserably at this, but I know how important it is so I keep trying. Work on noticing your self-critical thoughts and challenging them. Write positive affirmations. Get adequate rest. Exercise. Eat healthier. Meditate. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself.
Embrace life’s simple pleasures.
Take a long, leisurely bath. Read a good book or watch a favorite TV show. Savor a delicious meal. Notice the small things that you enjoy, and do them as often as possible.
Relive happier times.
I do this by looking at old photos on my phone or iPad and reminiscing about past vacations or other fun experiences I’ve had through the years. It’s a great way to get your mind off of whatever is currently stressing you out and refocused on happy memories instead.
Reach out for help.
Don’t be afraid to seek the help you need to make it through hard times. Maybe that’s professional counseling. It could be a 12-step group or a supportive online community. You might also benefit from talking things over with a good friend, family member or religious leader.
If you’re having financial problems, check to see if you’re eligible for any kind of government assistance program or to receive food from a food bank. Just don’t keep it all inside and suffer in silence, because help is available!
Help someone else.
You may be so overwhelmed by your own problems that you think you can’t possibly help anyone else, but even the smallest gesture can make a big difference. For instance, I published an article about the kindness of strangers in which I mentioned how grateful I was for the support I received from members of a Facebook group. The administrator of that group told me my words were the highlight of his week!
Accept the fact that you can’t control other people.
People will say and do things that hurt you deeply. They will make decisions that you think are unfair or unwise. You have to realize that you can’t change their behavior; the only thing you can control is how you respond to it. Holding on to anger and refusing to forgive (which does NOT mean pretending it didn’t hurt or allowing someone to continue to abuse you) does far more damage to you than to anyone else.
Go outside and soak up some sun.
A change of scenery can do wonders to improve your mood, as can the exercise you get if you go for a walk. You’ll also get a healthy dose of Vitamin D. Pay attention to the sights, sounds, and smells all around you; this helps keep your mind on the present moment.
I have noticed that two things, being around water and watching animals, work especially well to calm my racing mind. Therefore, most of my walks are at a local park with a pond where I can watch squirrels, butterflies, turtles and ducks among other creatures.
Write.
You don’t necessarily need to share your writing with anyone else; it’s solely for your own benefit. Writing a letter to someone who has hurt you provides an outlet for the emotions that are churning inside you. Starting a gratitude journal helps you notice the good things that happen each day. Listing the pros and cons of various possibilities you are considering makes it easier to decide what to do. Choosing a fun topic to write about gets your mind off of your troubles.
I have found that writing is a valuable tool I can use to either temporarily forget unpleasant circumstances or help me face them and figure out next steps. Both are important!
Turn to a higher power.
For me that power is God; my Christian faith gives me hope that new life is possible and there is a way forward even when I can’t see it. Your higher power may be the Universe, music, Mother Earth, love, or anything else that is bigger than you and gives you the strength you need to get through each day.
I hope you find these suggestions helpful as you navigate life’s challenges. If you liked this article, you may also enjoy reading my tips for a happy marriage:
