How to Get Knocked Up

Advice from a four-time mom

I heard a lot of pregnancy talk growing up, but all of it was advice on how to avoid getting knocked up.

I heard all about the risk of pregnancy. I was put on the pill and instructed to use condoms religiously. I was told about the failure rates of different birth control methods.

It seemed like if I did anything wrong at all — if I slipped up just a little — I would wind up pregnant.

Then I hit my 20s, decided I was ready to become a mother, and started getting a very different message about conception. I kept reading about women who just couldn’t bake a bun, no matter how much baby batter they got.

Now, getting knocked up seemed a little more complicated. I also realized that no one had actually taught me how to get pregnant (other than having an ill-advised one-night stand without a condom in the back of some guy’s Honda Civic).

I’m a chronic over-researcher. I love learning new things, I like to know how things work, and I only feel comfortable if I’m planning ahead. I wasn’t just going to have sex and let a baby grow inside me — I needed to understand the mechanics behind it.

I started looking into strategies for getting pregnant months before I actually started trying. I wasn’t going to do something this big without a proper game plan.

I gathered all the information I could. I read all the advice I found. I dove so deep into the Baby Center forum that I started casually rattling off acronyms like TTC, DH, and EDD. I spent more time watching pregnancy vlogs than TV shows.

I started writing down my basal body temperature, tracking my cycles, and taking ovulation tests long before it was go time.

I wanted to be ready, and I wanted to maximize my chances of success.

I came up with what seemed to be the best strategy. It’s the one that got me four kids. I know that’s only anecdotal evidence, but n=1x4 is all I can offer.

(I know the plural of anecdote isn’t data, but four times the anecdotal evidence has got to be better than just one, right?)

I know it won’t work for everyone. Some women won’t be able to conceive without assistance or at all. Some men don’t have a high enough sperm count. Either partner could have hormonal imbalances that makes conceiving difficult. Unfortunately, these tips won’t help with those issues. But if you want to try making a baby, or you’re struggling to conceive, this is the advice I would give you to tip the odds in your favor.

Track Your Cycle

Take ovulation tests regularly (I did them twice a day in case I had a very short LH surge) and keep track of your basal body temperature. Monitor what your body is doing so you can pin-point when you ovulate.

Once you’ve got that down, you can figure out when your fertile window is and you can use it to plan your baby-making.

A lot of people will say you should go for it on day 14 of your cycle. But I know from personal experience that day 14 isn’t the same for everyone. I sometimes only ovulate as late as day 20 of my cycle. That’s something I only found out by tracking my cycles, and if I hadn’t done it, I would’ve been trying too early and missing my fertile window.

You can have sex every day during your fertile window, or even a bit before and after. More than that can be overkill and can reduce your partner’s sperm count. You can still have extra sex for recreational purposes, but it won’t really up your odds.

If having sex every day is difficult for you, or you simply can’t manage it, it’s fine to go every other day. Your odds of getting pregnant will be higher as long as you’re having sex regularly in that fertile zone.

If you haven’t been tracking your cycles, you can just have sex every day or two after you start your period. Doing it regularly will ensure that you have sex during your ovulation phase.

Start Taking Prenatal Vitamins Early

A lot of women don’t think of taking prenatal vitamins until they’re pregnant, but it’s highly advised to start taking them a few months before trying to conceive. That way, you can make sure your vitamin levels are where they should be to sustain a pregnancy. The folic acid you get from the supplements will also help prevent neural tube defect.

Saliva and Lube

Saliva can be a small impediment for sperm making its way to the egg. I played it safe when I conceived my first child. I went fully spit-free, which really boiled down to no oral sex.

Yep, it was as frustrating as it sounds.

I gave up doing that for my last three pregnancies. I was willing to give up a lot to improve my odds of conceiving, but not that.

I consider this one to be more optional than the other tips in this list, but if you’re really struggling and want to put all the odds on your side, keep the oral action outside your fertile window.

Lube has the same problem. It can affect your ability to conceive, but lube is pretty damn important. Not only does it help you have more pleasurable sex, but it also helps when you’re not fully in the mood for sex but you’re scheduling it anyway so you don’t miss your fertile window. You should still have plenty of foreplay and make sure you’re aroused, but a little lube can help, too.

Luckily, there are specialty water-based lubes designed to provide lubrication without impeding sperm mobility. When I was trying to conceive, I was grateful for Pre-Seed, and YES BABY is a newer option.

Keep Using Your Favorite Positions

You can get pregnant in any position. For some reason, I always felt that missionary seemed to be the natural way to conceive. But you can conceive in any position, and you’ll love your child just as much even if they’re the product of some nasty doggystyle sex.

Positions that allow for more depth, like missionary and cowgirl, can help. Some people also swear by gravity, so to increase their odds they stick to missionary positions.

Keep Your Legs Up

Speaking of gravity, I also held my legs up for ten minutes after sex.

This one divides people. Some think it’s the secret to getting pregnant. Others think it’s pure quackery. But I figured if I was doing all the other stuff, why not try this, too? Plus, I knew if I didn’t get pregnant, I’d always wonder “Was it because my legs were down?”

Have an Orgasm

Other than tracking your cycles and making sure you’re having sex during your fertile window, this is my biggest tip. I credit it for how quickly I got pregnant each time.

Having an orgasm helps the sperm travel from your vagina to your uterus. Having an orgasm at any point during conception is great (for all the obvious reasons), but you should make sure you have one after your partner has ejaculated inside you.

That might mean taking care of business yourself, but it’s always nice to have an excuse to break out your vibrator for a little bit of extra fun at the end.

Making a Baby Isn’t Always Easy

Trying to conceive can be difficult. It’s stressful. It’s emotional. And even if you do everything right, it doesn’t mean everything goes right. My heart goes out to anyone who is trying and to anyone who is struggling.

Even if you’ve done everything ideally, there’s only about a 20% chance of conceiving each month, and it can take about a year for an average couple to conceive.

Those aren’t the most reassuring stats, so it’s normal to want to do everything you can to help things along. I can’t guarantee following the advice in this article will get you pregnant, but it should increase the likelihood. And if it’s still a challenge, at least you’re going to have some extra orgasms.

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