How to Earn Your Team’s Respect

The best bosses I ever worked for didn’t toe the company line.

Have you ever been asked to ‘own’ a company initiative that you played no part in developing? Historically, leaders have been expected to champion any and all company initiatives to their teams.

Whether or not they support those initiatives is irrelevant. They’re expected to toe the company line and get their team on board with the change, no matter how illogical, irrational, or just plain weird that change may be.

I think that mindset is outdated and wrong.

Why? Because the best bosses I have ever worked for didn’t do this. And, because they didn’t do this, I respected them far more than the bosses I have worked for who did.

Most new companywide initiatives are cooked up by the C-Suite. We sometimes fail to remember this, but when you strip away the corner office and the fancy title, executives are just people like you and me. And, let’s face it — people do weird things sometimes.

I once worked for a company whose CEO decided that she wanted to implement a business professional dress code at our corporate office once a week. The only thing left to decide was which day of the week that would be.

Based on our industry, Mondays seemed to make the least sense. Those days were largely spent pulling reports and recapping how business had performed over the prior weekend, our busiest sales days. Vendor meetings were far more likely to take place Tuesday-Thursday before things quieted down going into Friday.

So, naturally, she chose Mondays.

Yes, I tend to be sarcastic.

As an HR Manager, at the time, I had the pleasure of rolling out this change and was tasked with trying to find some kind of logical reason to explain a wholly illogical decision that was made far above my pay grade.

I knew exactly what the response from the masses would be because it sounded a whole lot like what the voice in my head was saying. “Why do we have to be in suits to sit at our desks pulling reports all day?”

It didn’t make any sense. My boss knew it, I knew it, everyone knew it.

Here’s what she did instead.

Acknowledge the weird

The first thing she did was acknowledge to our team what we were all thinking, while still expecting compliance.

In my boss’ case, this sounded something like, “I understand that this seems like a gratuitous change, and I can’t say that I disagree. But, regardless, I expect our team to follow the new guideline and lead by example for the rest of the organization.”

This was important because if my boss had championed this as a great idea without acknowledging how little sense it made, I would’ve found it pretty difficult to respect her — let alone trust her — going forward.

The reality is that your team can see right through this stuff, and they know you can, too. So when you try to paint an irrational policy with a rational brush, it’s offensive to people, your team included.

If something doesn’t make sense, say so. That doesn’t mean you won’t enforce it or seek greater understanding, but it does garner trust and respect when your team knows they can expect transparency from you.

Offer perspective

My boss didn’t stop at telling us she didn’t think this made sense. She went on to explain to us what she had already done to voice her concerns to the powers that be.

She affirmed our concerns as her own as she recounted what she had shared with the CEO leading up to this final decision. She acknowledged that she had advocated for a different decision, but also that she had been unsuccessful in changing the CEO’s mind.

She gave us the gift of perspective; Perspective that we did not have when looking at the decision from our seats lower down on the corporate ladder. This was critical because only when you have a full perspective can you appropriately match your response to the situation.

By sharing this with us, she validated everything we were thinking and, in an odd way, made us feel heard. Because, even though this conversation with the CEO had happened before the change was announced, it was reassuring to know that everything we thought and felt had already been put out on the table for consideration.

Had she not shared this with us, I know that I would have felt compelled to fight the decision. “But, wait — has she considered this, that and the other thing?!” I could rest assured knowing that she had but still chose a different path.

We didn’t have to agree with the decision but knowing she had advocated for our position and tried to change the outcome somehow helped us accept it.

Respect the decision

The final thing my boss asked of us was that we accept the decision that had been made, and lead by example in following it.

Here’s the thing — whether you agree with the decision an executive makes or not, the fact remains that they’re in that job for a reason and their decisions hold weight. We can respect their decisions without agreeing with them if we know we’ve been heard. We can disagree and commit.

And, as a leader, when you’ve extended your team the respect of leading with transparency, they are far more likely to return the favor to you by getting on board.

So, next time your company asks you to champion a program, policy, or change that you think sucks, resist the urge to sell it to your team like it’s the greatest thing ever. They will see right through that, and their respect for you will be eroded as a result.

Instead, acknowledge it for what it is, share your concerns with the decision-makers when it’s appropriate to do so, and then give your team the benefit of perspective on the steps you have taken leading up to the decision.

You’ll still have to live with the decision, but not at the expense of your team’s respect for you as a leader.

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