How to Be a Responsive Leader for Your Team
Learn how to respond to problems rather than react to them.
I can still remember one particular afternoon early in my career when I was interrupted by an unexpected visit from a leader I supported.
“I want her gone today,” he said.
One of his managers had just had an unprofessional outburst directed at her team and her boss had had enough. He stood in the doorway to my office, clearly angry and growing impatient. He wanted her fired, and he wanted it done immediately.
He was reacting. And, like falling dominoes, his reaction set off mine. Having taken on his frustrations with this employee as my own, I made a bee-line for my boss’ office. “So, can we just terminate her?” I implored.
Luckily for me, I worked for a responsive leader at the time.
Unlike reactive leaders, who jump straight into fight-or-flight mode when presented with a problem, responsive leaders take the time to calmly digest the situation at hand before making their next move.
One issue with reactive leadership is that simply reacting to a problem doesn’t leave you room to seek understanding. And you can’t effectively solve a problem that you don’t have a complete understanding of.
Below are a few ways to slow down, create space for understanding, and be a more responsive leader for your team.
Delay decision-making
In the example above, I came to my boss frantically wanting her to give me her blessing to take the action that more senior leader wanted me to take. But, why was this my initial ask?
Well, because this problem caused me anxiety. I knew that terminating an employee based on one instance of bad behavior was a risky move from an HR-standpoint. However, the idea of pushing back on a leader who was a few rungs above me on the corporate ladder was anxiety-provoking.
It would be so much easier to just go along with what he was asking. In the immediate term, it would also make me feel better because granting his request would allow me to move past anxiety. No difficult conversation required.
The most important thing my boss did in that moment was telling me to slow down. By doing so, she forced me to delay my decision long enough to sit with the anxiety and make a well-informed choice despite it.
Seek first to understand
The next thing she did was ask me questions. Tons of questions. She asked me the questions that my anxiety prevented me from asking myself.
In doing so, she pulled me out from under the pressure I felt and back to the logical realm of critical thinking and problem-solving.
Had I talked to anyone who had observed the outburst? Did I know what prompted it? Had this manager behaved like this before? If so, had I warned her about repeat offenses? Had I ever documented past conversations with her? Had other managers behaved like this in the past? How had I handled similar situations with them?
If I had been more focused on responding, and less caught up in my reaction, these would have been questions I would have asked. But, as she asked question after question that I could not answer, it became clear why we could not make a decision yet.
We simply hadn’t gathered enough information to have a full appreciation of the situation at hand. Without that, we couldn’t respond effectively.
Clarify the problem
Perhaps the most important question she asked was the simplest one.
“What problem are we solving here?”
The problem with which I went into her office was a personal problem. I wanted to move past the insecurity of pushing back on a senior leader by doing whatever it was that he asked of me. But, that’s not leadership.
The problem with which I came out of her office was to figure out exactly what had transpired with that manager and her team. Only when I had an understanding of the situation could I determine where to go next.
Maintain perspective
The most valuable thing you have as a leader that your team doesn’t have is perspective. Perspective is what allows you to withhold a reaction in favor of delivering a response.
In all likelihood, any problem your team comes to you with is something you’ve experienced before. Share that experience with them. What worked vs. what didn’t? What was different about that scenario compared to this one? What options did you consider that they might also explore?
The reality is that there are very few problems we face at work that cannot be solved. The question lies in how we go about solving them. The more perspective you can provide your team with, the higher quality their problem-solving will be.
Explore solutions and implications
The ultimate goal is to help your team member arrive at the ‘right’ or ‘best’ solution on their own by coaching them through your line of questioning. Instead of telling them what you think, you want to help them learn to think for themselves.
What next steps have they considered taking? What further information do they need to guide their decision-making? What have they tried in similar situations in the past? What went well and what could’ve gone better? What are the risks and implications of each option?
Lastly, it’s always wise for a leader to ask their employees, “What else do you know that we haven’t discussed but is important for me to know/consider?”
Your team will always be closer to the actual work than you are as their boss. Be careful to not assume you know the full story without validating that with them first.
Give them ownership of the decision
When all the options have been vetted and you feel as though the employee has completed their due diligence, let them make the decision.
In some cases, this will mean forcing them to decide because they will want to defer to you. After all, it’s much easier to let someone else make the tough decision so you can absolve yourself of responsibility, isn’t it? But, again — that’s not leadership.
Plus, if you’ve done your job well and helped them to think critically about the best option, they can’t really screw anything up beyond repair anyway.
Have their back
Finally — regardless of the decision they make — you have to have their back no matter the outcome.
It’s only when an employee makes a ‘bad’ decision or experiences a ‘bad’ outcome and sees that their boss still has their back that they become more willing to try new things, make tough decisions, and think like a leader.
For those of you wondering — No, I did not terminate the manager. Instead, I learned how to respectfully push-back. I learned what it takes to be a leader.
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