How to Find Self-Love If You Feel Ugly

These tips helped me transform my self-image and start enjoying an amazing dating life.

It’s tough to be confident when you feel ugly. For better or worse, we tend to link a lot of our confidence to our appearance.

In an ideal world, that wouldn’t be the case. If we could just flip the confidence switch whenever we felt like it, we’d attract a lot more people.

Sadly, it’s not as easy as flipping a switch. But it is possible.

I went a year without landing a date after breaking up with my ex-girlfriend — and I was convinced it was because everyone thought I was ugly. But then, I went on a journey of building my self-esteem. This led me to a life of traveling the world and dating beautiful women of every culture.

In this guide, I’ll share six ideas to help you love yourself even if you hate your looks. These are the tips that helped transform me into a successful international men’s dating coach. So, let’s dive in.

1. Improve your appearance

Let’s get this out of the way. It’s possible to revolutionize your appearance and make yourself more attractive.

Go to the gym. Eat clean. Build a strong healthy body. You’ll look better and feel better.

On top of that, find ways to improve your grooming and step up your fashion. Follow all these steps to become a sexier new version of yourself.

There’s a popular acronym in the men’s self-development community; WINS.

• Weights
• Image
• Nutrition
• Shut The Hell Up

Write that down and get to work. The easiest way to feel better about your appearance is to improve it.

2. Avoid the comparison trap

There are people who go to the gym every day, buy the latest clothes, spend hours on their grooming and still don’t like their appearance. Plenty of fashion models — people who are paid to be beautiful — spend a lot of time feeling ugly.

These people are often victims of the comparison trap. No matter how much they improve their appearance, they find someone better to compare themselves to. That’s a game you can never win. There will always be someone better-looking, richer, more jacked and more popular.

The only way out is to focus on competing against yourself. Try to be better than your former version. This is the only person worth competing with. It’ll also help to spend less time on social media, where almost everyone digitally alters themselves to look better.

3. Be aware of the RAS Flip

The reticular activation system (RAS) is the part of our brain responsible for selective focus. We need this because there’s too much stimuli in this world for us to focus on everything.

Anyway, here’s a cool fact about RAS. When you feel good about yourself, it focuses on all the positive parts of your appearance.

The opposite is true as well. We notice our imperfections when we feel worse about ourselves. That’s why I’m always recommending ways to boost your self-esteem.

This rule about the RAS also applies to our perceptions of other people. If someone makes us feel good, our RAS will highlight their attractive qualities. If they go on to screw us over, we’ll begin to notice their flaws. That’s called an ‘RAS Flip’. This is why we look back at pictures of our exes and wonder what ever made us attracted to them.

The way you make people feel will affect their perception of your outer beauty. Hopefully, this fact will help you to worry less about your big nose or dodgy hairline.

4. Go out and enjoy your life

When you make the effort to create an amazing life, you’ll spend less time worrying about how attractive you are. You’ll be too busy having fun.

So, define what makes an enjoyable life for you, then take the steps to create it. You’re only a few decisions away from starting your journey.

Once you do, you’ll spend more time enjoying the present moment and less worrying about your looks. The journey is part of the fun.

When you’re a happier person, you sleep better, your face becomes less tense and you’ll smile more. This can do the world of good for your appearance as well.

5. Remove toxic energy from your life

Most people understand the benefits of removing toxic people from their lives. If you have friends who say things to make you feel less attractive, you probably know you need to ditch them. These aren’t your real friends.

However, toxic energy doesn’t just come from people. It also comes from the media you consume. If you’re following Instagram accounts that make you feel insecure about your appearance, it’s time to unfollow them. Any benefits you get from these accounts are outweighed by the damage they’re doing to your self-esteem.

6. Delete your dating apps and meet women in real life

If you use dating apps and feel ugly, it’s safe to assume you’re not getting many matches. But that doesn’t mean you’re an ogre!

Data shows that the top 78% of attractive women are only trying to meet the top 20% of attractive men on dating apps. So, if you’re average-looking — or even slightly above-average — you’re still unlikely to get any decent matches.

A 7/10 male on Tinder will likely get the results of a 2/10 in real life. Of course that’s going to mess with your self-perception!

That’s why I write so many articles encouraging men to meet women in the real world. This allows you to use your personality and charm to create that RAS flip in your favor.

If you’re the type of guy who struggles to attract or keep a woman’s attention, my book Big Dick Energy will help you. It features 12 powerful exercises to help you unleash your natural masculine energy and attract amazing beautiful women.

You can learn more by clicking here or watching the video below.