How To Create More Happiness in Your Life

Eight simple ways you can be happier today

Who doesn’t want to be happy? Even the grumpiest of old men — of which, I’m quickly becoming one — are looking for happiness. That’s true whether they’re willing to admit it or not.

Happiness is not automatic, and it’s not as simple as taking the red or blue pill. Sorry, Neo, not in the real world. Some people simply don’t know how to be happy.

Too often in life, you pursue goal after goal with the belief that once you get that next prize, then you will be happy. But when you achieve it, nothing changes. So, you set a new goal to make yourself happy and take off again.

You don’t have to wait. The secret to happiness isn’t a big house, an expensive car, or a perfect partner. It starts inside you. This story will show you eight ways to draw it out.

1. Gratitude

Learning to be grateful is an excellent first step toward being happier. It’s hard to be unhappy and thankful at the same time.

Think about the last time someone gave you a special gift or did something nice for you. How did you feel? Could you be unhappy at that moment?

Developing an ‘attitude of gratitude’ is about hanging on to that feeling. It takes work, though.

Keeping a gratitude journal is a great place to start. Every night, write five things that you appreciated that day. Did the sun shine? Did a friend reach out to you? Was there a meal you enjoyed?

Write it down, even the smallest things.

Did a stranger smile at you today? If it wasn’t creepy, write it down. Ladies, you know what I mean.

You don’t have to limit yourself to five items, but try to write at least five every day.

In the morning, read over your list from the night before. Remind yourself of the reasons to be grateful. Then, as your day goes on, keep your eyes open for new things to record in your journal that night.

2. Contentment

Closely related to gratitude is the need to be content.

The problem with running from goal to goal is that you become too focused on the next thing and forget what you have right now. When you achieve a win, you don’t enjoy it because you’re already thinking about what you want next.

Goals are important. I’m not telling you to stop setting them.

Just be careful about slowing down from time to time. Take a few moments to think consciously about the things you have rather than focusing all of your energy on what’s next.

You possess more than you might think. Even if you own little, there is someone out there wishing for what you have.

Would it be nice to have a bigger house and a luxury car? Sure it would. Yet, ask yourself, is the home you have now safe and comfortable? Does your current vehicle get you where you need to go?

Think too, is there food in your belly, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head?

You have a lot.

Too many people are living without those necessities. Contentment and happiness are yours to choose.

3. Positivity

As you learn to have more gratitude and contentment, positivity will follow. You can improve the process by attempting to be more positive at all times.

I know, it’s a lot easier said than done. I’m a natural critic, both of myself and others, so flaws jump out at me like flashing red lights everywhere I look.

I’m the guy who proofreads everything and points out when you mispronounce a word. Yep, that guy. I’m working on it, though.

Learning to be positive takes a good deal of time and self-talk. The switch is possible, if you keep working on it.

The next time you’re inclined to see the negative or complain about something, make yourself think of something positive first. You can find some positive in every moment.

For example, suppose you have a terrible meal. Maybe it’s the worst food you’ve ever eaten. Can you still be positive?

Did someone take their time to prepare the food for you? Was everything bad or just one part of the meal? Did you eat it in pleasant surroundings?

If nothing else, when you’re done eating, you can at least be positive that all the nasty food is gone.

It takes effort and time, but pursuing positivity gets easier every time you do it.

4. Health

Cultivating good health is an obvious solution to being happy. Still, it’s worth taking time to think about it.

It’s harder to be happy when you feel unwell mentally and/or physically. That’s why it’s important to take care of yourself in all ways.

Schedule downtime for self-care and refreshing recreation. Eat nutritious foods and get plenty of rest.

Perfect health may be out of reach. Coping with both bipolar disorder and a chronic illness, I know that all too well. Still, it’s essential to do what you can.

Spend some time every day taking care of you. Pursue appropriate exercise. Get out in the sun and physically touch the ground. Even ten minutes of sunshine and fresh air can do wonders.

Try to improve your bad habits as well. Cut down the sugar and junk food you eat — a constant struggle for me — and plan healthier snacks. Move your body more and get rid of anything that makes you feel worse.

5. Generosity

You know the principle, “There is more happiness in giving than in receiving.” You’ve heard it hundreds, if not thousands, of times.

What type of giving should it be?

Being generous involves more than giving away money or things. If you have the ability, giving away gifts is great, but it’s not the only way to be generous.

Time is a great option.

Spend more time with your children and loved ones. Be fully present in each moment. Yes, that might mean putting down or turning off your phone. You will survive, I promise you.

When children receive copious amounts of quality time from their parents, they grow up to feel loved and to love others.

Relationships get better when you work on improving them.

Show how much you care by offering your time.

As you form deeper connections, you’ll see how being generous with your time makes others happy. That will make you happier as well.

6. Persistence

When I was a kid, one of my favorite toys was my Weebles. My sister and I called them Weeble-Wobbles, but I don’t think that was ever their proper name.

The commercials in the 1970s for Weebles had a great little jingle I sang continuously until my parents wanted to pull their ears off.

Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down. Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down. Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down.

Imagine hearing that 10,000 times a day from a toddler. Sorry, Mom and Dad. I guess I was the reason for your gray hair.

The toy has a round bottom and a weight that makes it pop right back up no matter how many times you knock it over. Eventually, I had to dissect one to see how it worked — I am a boy after all — but that’s probably a story for another time.

Why am I talking about Weebles? Because we need to be more like them.

I’m not talking about adding more weight to our round bottoms. Although, I’m already an expert at that. Unfortunately, it’s doing nothing to help me bounce up after something knocks me down.

Rather, we need to be more like Weebles in the way we bounce back.

Persistence and resilience keep you moving forward even after devastating setbacks.

Each time you get up, you prove to yourself what you can do. That strength gives you the power to better face the next trial.

You also gain happiness from knowing what you’ve overcome. The world threw something hard at you, and you survived. Now you’re back on your feet.

Celebrate the win. Smile about it. Never forget what you can do.

7. Forgiveness

Holding a past “sin” over someone’s head will not make either of you happy. It’s time to forgive.

We often compare resentment to the act of drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.

The silliest thing is that most often, the other person doesn’t know you’re still upset. They may not know you were ever upset.

Does that make sense? If they’re not suffering, why should you?

In our minds, we sometimes make an incident much bigger than it was. If there’s any way you can, let it go, especially if the other person has apologized. Insert the appropriate Disney song here.

You can choose how to move forward. Even if you can’t forgive, don’t waste time thinking about it. Accept that a bad thing happened and move on.

Most of the time, you can forgive. For various reasons, you may have chosen not to, but that decision is only hurting you.

Stop drinking the poison. You are better than that. The poison is standing between you and your happiness.

8. Love

I purposely listed love last. Even though it’s the most important one, it’s the best to use as a conclusion. You’re most likely to remember the last thing you read in a story, so I want to leave you today thinking about love.

Love from others is nice. Feeling loved gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling. But you can’t control if someone loves you. Trust me.

If you could, there wouldn’t be thousands of books, blogs, and Medium stories about the subject.

What you can control is how and when you choose to love.

You may think, “Love isn’t a choice.”

Maybe.

From personal experience, I can tell you that sometimes you fall in love when you have no intention of doing so. Sometimes love makes a sneak attack.

That’s not what I’m talking about, though.

In everyday life, there are many times you can choose to love.

Choose love when…

Choose to love your kids when they’re writing on the wall with a permanent marker. Choose to love them when they fight and cry and throw tantrums in the middle of Target.

Choose to love your wife when she has spent too much money shopping or has been talking since the moment you walked through the door. Choose to love her when she cries uncontrollably and there doesn’t seem to be a reason why.

Choose to love your husband when he’s grumpy and wants to have a beer in front of the TV instead of talking to you. Choose to love him when you hear the garbage truck go by and can see your trash still piled in a corner of the garage.

Choose to love your friends when they let you down. Choose to love them when they don’t show up on time or repeat things that were meant to be kept secret.

Love you, too

Loving yourself is another choice.

This one may be harder to achieve, especially since you know all your failings. Mental illness reminds me constantly of the reasons I shouldn’t love myself.

Still, it’s imperative to love yourself.

There are people who love you. They are not wrong in doing so.

Let me repeat that. The people who love you are not wrong for loving you.

If they can love you, you should love you, too.

You must love yourself before you can fully love others, and we’ve already seen how important loving others is to being happy.

Too many people choose to stop loving. Don’t make that choice.

Be the love someone else needs. Be the love you need.

Choose to love, and happiness will choose you.

Until next time, keep fighting.

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