How to Create Hope During Uncertain Times

…and live a promising life on the other side.

Have you noticed that sometimes life just doesn’t cooperate with our plans? Things break… people break when health declines.

Life comes with accidents, natural disasters, crime, economic downturns… a pandemic. When life becomes uncertain, it invites stress, fear and can take a person down a road of doubt and worry.

When measuring our situation and counting the challenges, they grow in our minds as something insurmountable. When doubts come, we distrust our own ability to make efficient choices.

We might even question the capability or willingness of others to help.

Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

Guard your sources of information.

Compounded, those doubts add worry when watching the news and hearing how the world is falling into the toilet. An online medical search for answers describes every ailment that will eventually kill a person.

That bruised and hurting thumb isn’t the sprain it appears to be. It’s a deep bone cancer and to get answers, you need to submit your email address and subscribe to a mailing list.

Now… That’s a convenient marketing ploy.

It’s easy to allow your mind to go down the rabbit hole of worry. That’s what news broadcasters do well, and what the online medical marketers do. They call themselves the voice of authority and hook you into letting them think for you and direct your purchases… IF we let them.

When I allowed myself to worry.

I’m reminded of an instance where I allowed my mind to fall into a vortex of fear. Shortly after retiring from the Coast Guard, I accepted a federal investigator position in San Francisco. There was a round spot showing up on my lower leg. It was sore, itched a lot, and primary-care doctors couldn’t find what it was or how to make it subside.

During my active duty years, I worked with a man that nearly died of cancer that started with a similar spot on his skin. I asked for a referral to see a specialist just to be safe.

A couple weeks later, I arrived at the clinic and with a concerned look, the doctor said, “We need to take a biopsy right away.” As my levels of anxiety went up, I agreed to the test. I learned an important lesson during that time:

Unless there is a definitive roadmap pointing to a diagnosis, the only thing a doctor knows is your insurance co-payment.

Two assistants entered the room. One shaved the area on my lower leg, the other slathered iodine all over, and the first one shot me up to numb the area. Behind them, the doctor returned with something that looked like a long screwdriver. It was like a long cookie-cutter. He pressed it in and twisted it until I could feel it hit bone.

That got my attention.

A moment later, he pulled out this long sample of skin and placed it in a jar. While focusing on the plug of skin, I didn’t even realize one assistant already had a needle, busily sewing me up.

The doctor said it might take a week for the results and told me if he was to guess; it was “probably skin cancer, and it’s important to stop it before it gets to the bone.”

GUESS??? I’m paying a specialist to guess?

I left the clinic and headed to the interstate to return to the office. When you’re driving alone, you have time to think, and that was my problem. In my mind, I kept hearing the dreaded “C” word… cancer. I found myself on the treadmill of “what-ifs” and “if I have cancer, then what?”

The thoughts and worst-case scenarios kept growing, and I kept feeding them. At one point, I just had to get off the road. I pulled over and allowed myself to breathe. I was sweating and reprocessing everything.

Be present and question the facts.

During those few upsetting minutes along the Interstate, I regrouped. What do I know and what do I NOT know about this situation?

- The biopsy results are still out there. There’s no proof of anything bad.

- The specialist is “Guessing” so he knows nothing either.

- I know that God is always in control and that’s better than any guess from any doctor.

A few minutes into this mental exercise, I put on some cheerful music and went to work.

The following week, I received a call from the clinic. The results were inconclusive about what the problem area was. The good thing is that it was not cancer, and the problem went away. Once in a while it will pop back up and I’ll put an over-the-counter healing cream called Eucerin on it and it goes away.

The worrisome scenarios I created never happened.

Review the history of your fears.

When you are faced with uncertainties and allow fears to grow, revisit your history and ask yourself:

• What were my biggest fears?
• What did I think would happen?
• How many of those tragedies that were mentally created happened? Few if any most likely.

Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less. — Marie Curie

My point in this section.

I’m a realist and I understand that bad things can happen; I’ve seen it in my life and those around me. My point to this is:

• Be present.
• Be objective.
• Don’t overwhelm yourself with what ISN’T. That causes stress, and stress kills. As a stress coach, I help people push the stressful feelings away, and invite life back in.

Don’t blow up that stress balloon to the point of popping.

Look for the good.

When uncertain times wind you up into a worry mode, you have the power to create physical, mental and emotional change by where you place your focus. I’ve told my clients for years that positive energy always counters the negative. Things might be uncertain, and they might be bad. Imagine a scale, like a scale of justice. Positive on one side; negative on the other. If there seems to be more junk and discomfort in your life, focus on the good and neutralize the bad.

• Look for things in your life for which you’re grateful. Start small and consider your ability to see, hear, talk, think, walk, or feed or bathe yourself, etc. You get the idea. So many others cannot.
• Write those points of blessing down in a journal and read them every day. Look for more things each day and write them down. When sad or worrisome feelings grow, review your book.
• Who is in your life that brings you joy? It could be a person or a pet; it could be someone you don’t even know that showed you kindness in the grocery store, or gave you a break on the road.
• Call, email or send a letter or a card (yes, people still write letters).

I have a 100-yr old pen pal that’s written me for many years. I know her days will one day end. I’ve saved every letter and those letters are precious. They create grateful feelings.

As humans, we are emotional, interpersonal beings. Reach out and let someone know they are important to you. Who do you know that needs kindness in their lives?

Your kindness to them pays dividends on your positive side of the scale.

Pulling it all together.

When I started this article, I noted uncertainties brought by accidents, natural disasters, and crime. Yes. Those things exist. Life also offers love, kindness, happiness, gratefulness and peace. You and I, we all own the power within us to change the level of our scale and the world.

You ARE a powerful person. NO ONE can take that away. Even during uncertainty, we can create peace in our lives.

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⭐️ About Anthony M. Davis

Anthony M. Davis is a Leadership, Success & Stress Coach, Board Certified Therapist, and Top-100 International Travel Photographer. His free book, “Keys to Your Success” is available now.