How to Climb Over Fences and Step into the Light

An Ancient Hawaiian Practice to obtain Forgiveness and Develope Self Love

I arrived at the “Garden Island” of Kauai after a grey damp Seattle winter. It was here surrounded by palm trees and ocean waves when I decided to enroll in a course called “Stepping Into Your Light” instructed by a local named Marian Ryan. Her technique of self healing focuses your attention on the subconscious to evoke positive changes inside the body. During one of her presentations with a healing prayer based in Hawaiian culture called Ho’oponopono (translated to English as “put right”), I found a powerful ability to convert internalized pain into peace.

The realization of the prayer’s gift became apparent during my first guided practice through Ho’oponopono. I could feel long held emotional stress around a specific childhood event. Through my intention to heal my subconscious mind it allowed my higher self to speak directly with my primitive ego concerning the beliefs created from this event.

I was labeled a “husky” boy by my Italian mother. She used this description out of concern after hearing my little sister tease me about my weight. I easily could handle my sisters attempts at causing me pain through my own clever responses. However, I wasn’t prepared to experience a sneak attack from a place my eight year old self had always felt safe.

My childhood friend lived up the street and during the long days of summer I would walk there to play games. This particular day after lunch I made the journey to seek out my friends company. When I arrived, my friend sat silently on his fence with three other boys from our neighborhood. I never had interacted with them before because they were the “older kids”. I was a bit timid but my friend was there so I felt comfortable to join the gang.

“I don’t think he can make it up here” questioned on of the boys.

“He’s too fat and might break the fence” added another.

“Go home chubby,” they laughed.

“I just want to play” I submissively pleaded.

“We don’t want to play with you. Leave before you miss another meal.”

My young mind froze while insults poked at my self esteem igniting my sisters taunts. I began to believe her insults were true as I watched my friend join in the laughter high from the fence. I don’t remember mustering the courage to retreat, but I do remember my walk home, telling myself I will never be found in a situation polluted by ridicule. Little did I know at the time that also meant closing off any hint of vulnerability in relationships for years to come.

Using this event as my first experience with Ho’oponopono was a brave but rewarding act. Allowing my higher self to communicate an intention to heal this stored event was transformative to say the least.

Ho’oponopono healing mantra flows as follows:

I am sorry…

Please forgive me…

Thank you…

I love you…

IN THE BEING THE DOING IS DONE.

I AM SORRY was a challenging admission for me. I began with an apology to the boys who mocked me as a child. The event had caused such pain that I had to let go of my self centered point of view without burdening myself with fault. I relived the experience through my adult perspective of this childhood event. Only when I was able to hold this source of hurt for my child self was I able to embrace the beginning of my prayer. I was not angry at the gang of older boys. I felt betrayed by my friend, Jason who at eight years old only wanted to be accepted himself within the older group.

“I am sorry Jason for placing an unrealistic expectation of loyalty upon our friendship.”

PLEASE FORGIVE ME became an easier offering as I imagined a confused eight year old boy on his fence feeling pressured by older kids to join the ridicule. An energetic release unblocked in me as I began to perform my intention of healing myself and my childhood injustice.

“Please forgive me for the self serving shame I’ve told myself you were responsible for creating inside of me.”

THANK YOU allowed me to acknowledge my growth obtained by facing ridicule through a percieved betrayal of friendship. I also became aware of a hidden event buried by my story that occurred later that day. After the first two lines of the healing mantra were said, an image of Jason coming over to check on me and offer an apology for his actions rushed forward from the darkness. I had repressed this event because it didn’t fit with the cruel story I had been telling myself. When held in a new reality this insight allowed me to take an emotional step forward towards a higher vibration in attracting more positive life experiences.

“Thank you Jason for allowing me to witness my fear of abandonment and that you were there for me.”

I LOVE YOU became a gift to my childhood friend. Once I closed the prayer I could feel a wave of energy leave my body. A release into the universe, a container of forgiveness for myself and my friend.

“I love you for challenging me and allowing me to open my heart. I know now you were not only a confused boy laughing at me, you were also my friend.”

Ho’oponopono is a powerful healing practice. It is allowing my consciousness the ability to radiate at a higher frequency by releasing beliefs of betrayal and abandonment I held within my body. In releasing this stagnate hurt into the universe with gratitude and forgiveness, I am noticing my relationship with my current partner is focused on understanding rather than my usual defensive nature. Ever since leaving Kauai I’ve successfully guided others through their own process in healing using Ho’oponopono. I am honored to share my experience from this prayer with the hope you’ll find healing during your journey into the light.

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