How To Bring Positivity Into Your Life

Speak positively about yourself

We all have had and will continue to have negative experiences that can break us, teach us, and even set us up for failure.

What is fascinating is that the severity of the situation never entirely predicts the outcome of its victims.

Three people may have faced similar challenges: The first one becomes very successful, happy, and accomplished because of that situation; the second person is depressed and hopeless and views everything else through that lens; the third seems not to be affected at all.

Our previous experiences, resilience, and temperament heavily influence our immediate reaction to an event.

After a relatively long period, though; it is necessary to take a certain distance to that event. So, it does not destroy our life.

You can still feel sad, angry, or offended by a situation. But you manage to be objective about it.

Speaking positively about even bad situations is one of the most effective ways to begin implementing positive behaviors toward them.

Others perceive our lives and beliefs as complete abstractions. In contrast, our actions and discourses are what they use to determine who we are and what we believe.

A person who constantly talks negatively about themselves, their experiences, and their surroundings also communicate how bad they are at resolving problems, keeping secrets, and choosing what is best for them. Besides, they unconsciously convey their self-centeredness, insecurity, incompleteness, and desire for attention.

As a result, they are more likely to attract people with bad intentions or simply the wrong types of people. If you want to attract the best people into your life, here are some tips on how to be more positive in your conversations:

1. You are the master of your life

Two major factors tend to make people feel that they are not in control of their lives:

a. External tragedies (the death of a loved one; abusive relationships, natural disasters; toxic parents; victims of -isms and -phobias-related crime; and so on) b. Being falsely accused of a heinous crime such as murder or destruction

If you have been the victim of one of these situations, you must seek help from a therapist because each case is unique. My humble advice to you, however, is to try not to hold responsibility for those events but rather for your life afterward.

Instead of focusing on why you deserve or do not deserve them, focus on what you learned about life and yourself during those times and how you can overcome them. This starts with the way you talk about those events.

For example, the following explanations are not helpful because they will make you resentful:

• I wish I had been born in a healthier family.
• If I was there, they would not die.

However, the following sentences are somewhat positive:

• Because I was abused, I understand how victims of abuse feel.
• Although living without my parents at such a young age was difficult, I grew more self-sufficient and mature than many of my peers.
• I was accused of murder because I was in the wrong place but having gone through this teaches me how to react in a murder scene, etc.

Nonetheless, avoid being defensive. And don’t be too quick to use that unfortunate circumstance to justify or explain subsequent failures or errors.

You should not consider yourself a total victim if you did not experience one of the two previously mentioned circumstances. Instead, think about what you need to change about yourself when something goes wrong or someone disappoints you. When we feel pain due to external events, it is because they link to inner flaws that we avoid or are not conscious about.

2. Earn your flaws and mistakes. So, they do not earn you.

Speaking positively about yourself does not imply that you should sound like a total genius with complete control over your life. Positive people are those who, despite traumatic experiences, can maintain positive attitudes toward life.

It is hard to assume a person is positive or strong if they appear to have never faced adversity. Other people can interpret this person’s happiness and sense of satisfaction as neutral. Furthermore, someone who seems too powerful can come across as fake and unrelatable.

When you assume your weak points openly, people can sense that you get over them. It is also fine not to talk about some negative experiences you have had. Sometimes, it is better to keep them for yourself.

However, try to know those mistakes or weak points well. So, they do not take control of your discourse without your permission. Be aware that when you are too afraid of your past mistakes, they are the first signs to emerge as soon as you become emotional.

What you should never do, though, is romanticize an awful experience or try to make your weak points seem like your talents. Such an attitude is similar to trying to be a passive victim. Sometimes, it is even worse than the victimhood attitude because it may make random people want to experience those bad things.

3. If it cannot teach, do not bring it to the table.

Do not waste your time rehashing negative experiences. Life has been as challenging for you as it has been for most of those around you. If you cannot get over your bad experiences, seek help within yourself or get help from professionals.

Nobody else cares! Their problems are almost certainly not the same as yours. No matter how empathetic they sound, they may be unable to relate.

That is why, unless your traumatic experiences can help you teach your interlocutors about yourself or a specific subject, you should avoid bringing them up.

Because as I mentioned in the introduction, no one can read your mind, but anyone can interpret or misinterpret your words.

Most people tend to assume the worst about strangers. If the first thing you tell someone about yourself is a bad experience, they will subconsciously categorize you as negative.

What else?

If you’ve read this article, you’re probably aware that speaking positively about oneself is only one element in the long process of becoming interesting in the eyes of others.

When you choose to be positive, it reflects on you. Because first, we become what we believe. Second, most people make assumptions about others based on what they hear from that person or/and the others. Third, people treat us according to the energy that we spread. That means people are more likely to treat us positively if we spread positivity.

As you start talking positively about your life, your journey, and the people around you, you will notice that more people are interested in you. And you will feel more confident about yourself.

Besides, more people will want to rely on you if you sound like someone who attracts the best, keeps secrets, and treats people well.

Therefore, I advise you to practice positive thinking. So, you become more charming.