How to Break Free From Society’s Expectations

It’s time to take back your power and follow your dreams

Living happily is a matter of choosing to fulfill the positive demands of your inner-self over your societal expectations.~Edmond Mbiaka

Our society offers rewards for followers

If you live in the United States, you’re familiar with our unrealistic societal expectations. Anyone who breaks away from the norm faces certain risks. You could miss out on opportunities and basic needs met, like food and shelter.

If you work, you’ll get money for these basics. You use it for housing, food, and probably a car. You’ll need enough for health care, especially when you’re rushing and working too hard. You might need child care, which will cost you.

Of course, you think you need these things from others. Yeah, a roof over your head is pretty essential in most places. You usually acquire said housing through hard work and sacrifice. You typically buy or rent. With conventional homeownership, you have responsibilities. With rentals come binding agreements. It’s rare these days to build a house in the middle of nowhere. People are doing it, but you need money, space, and time.

I’m illustrating a mere fraction of how we start feeling trapped in our society’s hamster wheel. If you don’t work, you can’t get the money to buy or rent the house. You got the job to afford the housing. Never mind if you enjoy your job. Society has expectations. We play the game because we think we need it for survival.

Most of us don’t tend a garden or harvest our seeds. We feel like we need to rely on grocery stores for food. Our children grow up expecting the taste of processed foods, unaware of healthy and delicious alternatives. Most of us never learned how to live sustainably. YouTube videos aren’t enough. We feel lost and hopeless.

Sound like a dystopian hell? Not so fast. We can step off the hamster wheel into a new paradigm. We always have a choice to own our power. Many of you may start to see yourselves in this scenario soon. We’re growing and changing every day. We’re ready for new, realistic expectations.

Let’s examine what happens when you boldly go where few have dared to tread.

Your confidence builds

When confidence returns, we feel empowered to change our stories. We have to, or we’ll get lost in endless stress over nothing. This ‘nothing’ is the illusion of our powerlessness. We need to own our power to change our current societal expectations.

I got the idea to write this story when I suddenly realized how much society expects from me as a parent. I’m encouraged to sacrifice my own needs for the sake of my children. When this absurdity dawned on me, I felt resentful and exhausted. These expectations are unrealistic and impossible to achieve without burnout.

I advocate self-care within every aspect of our lives, including parenting. Yes, I get up in the middle of the night to comfort my kids. But when I’m too tired to carry on, I make accommodations for myself as best I can. If I didn’t, I’d be unavailable for my kids.

Here’s what struck me. I’m swimming against a strong current of messages that tell me otherwise. Media, teachers, government, and others tell me I should be able to do all the things all of the time. We used to have small villages working and playing together. Now parents plan playdates, organizing their time around naps, dinner, and work, so we can socialize and find friends for our children.

I didn’t feel confident or sure of my ability to change my story. I felt stuck. But who’s keeping me there? I know the answer, and so do you. I read a timely statement about owning my power. She reminded me how I could change my mind anytime.

What if we pulled from our inner resources? We wouldn’t need to rely so heavily on others, including our government.

You look within for inner resources

Think of all the reasons you can’t do something, then counter them with what you can do. Meditate on your ideas. Write it down if you need to see your results. Inner resources can be anything from innate talents or skills to new ideas you’ve had brewing for a while.

For example, I intend to grow my food. I’ve had this idea forever, but never followed through. But seeds are everywhere, including inside the veggies and fruit we’ve already bought. I have a compost bin started for future use. I planted some bell pepper seeds a couple of months ago, and they’ve sprouted. I drew on my inner and outer resources to provide an alternative.

We’re not helpless. We don’t need the supermarket to provide our food. During a time of instant internet access, I can take a course on homesteading. I can save my seeds. I can find and make some dirt. We’ve got this.

I’m starting small, like the pepper seedlings. But watch out. I’m working my way to an idyllic life off-grid. Dreams start as illusory and fluid. But then they come true.

You follow your dreams

If your current society isn’t satisfying or nurturing you, do something else. I’m telling you this as a low-income single mama of two exceptional, school-aged children. Life isn’t without its challenges. But my dreams are still very much alive.

Trust me. Dreams are supposed to come true. Keep dreaming. Eventually, you’ll find everything you need to make it happen. It’s no accident I read my friend’s post on empowerment today. I was going to tell you why it’s unfair to have unrealistic expectations. Then I asked myself, why am I letting my thoughts run counter to my dreams?

Dreams are far more important than we’ve been led to believe. Our culture downplays our dreams and visions. Our government is structured to control its citizens. But we have control over our destiny. We hold power over our dreams. Nothing and no one can take them away from us.

If you’re holding back in fear, there’s a way out. You might have to play the game a little longer. Use the game to your advantage, as a means to an end. But keep following your heart’s desires. Raise your children with intention and authenticity. Don’t let anyone intimidate you into thinking you’re doing it wrong. What feels right inside is always what’s right for you.

I’ve recently begun to watch the journey of a fellow named Rob Greenfield. He takes actions to align with his values. He intentionally lives under the poverty line, giving 100% of his earnings from videos to nonprofit organizations. He refuses to pay taxes because he doesn’t believe in government war funding. He decided not to collect social security, either. He rents an apartment he pays for with Airbnb guests. He’s reduced his use of trash by 99%.

He gives me hope. If Rob Greenfield can align with his dreams, so can I.

You’ll teach others

I’ve heard it said, teach what you’ve learned. You can retain your information much longer and show others a new way of living. Then they’ll teach more of what they’ve learned. And so the cycle continues.

If you’re tired of unnecessary stress from trying to live up to society’s expectations, stop trying. Then show others how you shifted your course.

Although people look like they’re willing to be part of the daily grind, most will happily step off of the wheel for a better life. Share your stories. Take action. They’ll watch you, maybe ask questions, then try something new themselves.

Final thoughts

Eventually, we won’t need to have this conversation because we’ll be helping and healing each other. We’ll restore our communities. We’ll trust each other again. We’ll give and receive support. We’ll return to our global village.

Confidently go forth to pursue your dreams. Then teach others how you’ve bravely stepped away from the chaos. People want to know how to be free again. Liberate yourself from your invisible bondage. Our dreams are coming true.

The key to organizing an alternative society is to organize people around what they can do, and more importantly, what they want to do.~Abbie Hoffman

Related reads:

Let’s stay in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, or my personal blog at gratefulx365.wordpress.com. Email me at [email protected]. Thanks for reading.