The Disease of More

And how we can find relief

All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.~Noam Chomsky

We have too many choices and it’s making us sick.

We can never have enough. If one is good, a dozen is better.

My parents buy their groceries in bulk, cashing in on sales and deals every week. We’re currently staying with them, and I’m overwhelmed by the sheer volume and resulting lack of space.

They’ve stockpiled everything from salad dressing to single-serving Yoplait (with 13 grams added sugar, as a note). I rearrange the fridge every Saturday after they shop. Those yogurt cups are stacked in fours and fall every time I attempt to get something off that shelf.

Why do they choose to do that to themselves?

It’s apparently important for them to be prepared and save money. But do they really need that much salad dressing? They have about 9 bottles in the garage, incidentally.

It’s also apparent that they need to fill a space.

My parents listen to news throughout the day and watch TV every evening. There’s almost always something to distract them from their own thoughts and feelings.

Unsurprisingly, they try to stop my kids from crying. They clearly can’t handle expressing their feelings or holding space for others’ need to emote.

They’ve saved 3–4 crates of toys my kids don’t play with anymore. I’ve told them a few times that they’re not interested. We KonMari’d them so they can be passed on to another family. They’re currently stored in their garage.

Meaningful experiences far outweigh any material thing they’ve received. My parents spend plenty of quality time with them, yet they’re still attached to keeping old toys around.

Some might say it’s a generational difference, that they were encouraged to save everything for a rainy day.

This problem goes deeper than an inclination or family tradition. It’s pervasive in most US households and we’re spiraling out of control.

We have diseased thinking and behavior, and we’re suffering.

We’re stuck in an unhealthy pattern of buying and holding onto possessions for comfort and relief.

The disease of more tells us we can’t find contentment without the stuff.

Are these things really better than the things I already have? Or am I just trained to be dissatisfied with what I have now? ~Chuck Palahniuk

US culture contributes to overproduction and overconsumption of goods and services. We are responsible for a large percentage of global pollution and unhappy people.

We’re encouraged to buy more stuff, under the guise of making us happy. And we’re growing unhealthier and unhappier by the day.

We’re told we need to have the latest gadget to help us be more productive and successful. We’re continually deceived on a daily basis.

We’re inundated with marketing everywhere we go, influenced by all forms of media and other people talking about the “latest trends”.

Many of us believe the hype. We’re bought and sold before we purchase anything.

Notice your short-lived satisfaction after bringing home a new toy or gadget.

The phenomenon is especially notable with children. My parents recently bought my kids “LOL” dolls. Not to mention the mindless plastic packaging and complete disregard for our planet, these dolls are highly desired then tossed aside. They lost interest in about a week or two.

It’s the same for adults. We buy a new outfit, movie, video game, or jewelry. It eventually loses its luster.

It’s rare to find something newly bought that holds our interest and brings us infinite joy. I’ve found a few treasures, and hold onto those when others fade away. Most of my favorite things are old, used, or passed on as gifts.

The rest is useless junk. Really, so much of our stuff doesn’t matter.

After a few weeks or months, see how often you want to use the thing. It’s probably ignored by then unless of course, it’s your cell phone.

In less than a year, you start to look around your home, unsatisfied with all those things that take up all of your valuable space.

Armaments, universal debt, and planned obsolescence — those are the three pillars of Western prosperity. If war, waste, and moneylenders were abolished, you’d collapse. And while you people are overconsuming the rest of the world sinks more and more deeply into chronic disaster.~Aldous Huxley

It’s no surprise that Marie Kondo’s decluttering method has become a new obsession in Western culture.

It illustrates our desperate need for a change. We can’t tolerate crowding our physical and emotional space anymore. It’s unbearable and we need to stop the cycle.

This will become progressively worse if we don’t take action. We will literally be consumed by all our crap.

This will further our isolation and unhappiness, unless we’re willing to take steps to change.

You better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone, ‘cause the times they are a-changing.~Bob Dylan

What can we do about it?

We need to wake up and get out of our current paradigm. We’re all about to shift into a cleaner, clearer space. But there’s so much work to do.

Here are a few simple ways you can shift into a healthier pattern:

Wake Up.

It’s time we take back our power. To do that, we need to raise our personal awareness to level 10. Snap out of the shopping mall haze and look around.

Is this really what you want from life? Is it possible you can fill yourself up with so much more than the latest trends?

Do you want to be consumed by mass consumption? I don’t know anyone who really wants that.

Step one is recognizing our current powerlessness, but that doesn’t translate into not having power. We are empowered to make choices. Which leads me to the next step.

Know that you have choices.

You’re not helpless. Make a decision to change your habits. Stop buying useless junk. Find what actually sparks joy and keep that. The rest needs to be passed on to someone who will enjoy it.

You won’t have to KonMari anything else, once you’ve cleared out what isn’t joyful in your life.

Be a smart consumer. That means you get to be the one in charge. Consumers have power over what’s being sold to us. We can change it all if we take collective action.

Only buy what’s useful or enjoyable, and has the least impact on our environment. If you want less plastic in the world, don’t buy any. It’s that simple.

Spend quality time with people you love.

Shared experiences are the most valuable gift you can give someone you love.

Your kids don’t need more toys. They need your attention and care. Allow them to be sad when you say no to the new toy that doesn’t match your values.

Hold them while they grieve their loss. They’ll come through the other side with a new appreciation for letting go of new but fleeting things.

Being with you is all they really wanted in the first place. You’re irreplaceable.

Your friends and family don’t need fancy gifts, they need your presence. Go spend time with them.

Fill yourself up with love.

I’ve considered my younger, insecure days, when I cared deeply about what you thought of my appearance.

I compared my outsides to your insides. My clothes, hair, face, all needed to be a certain way for you to love me.

Those days are gone for me. I hope they are for you, too. It’s not about your outside accoutrements. If someone only wants you for your appearance or things you can buy them, they need to be KonMari’d alongside your old, unused crockpot from 1987.

Instead of filling up on the sales rack, fill up on magnificent you.

You’re priceless.

Let’s stay in touch. You can find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn, or my personal blog at gratefulx365.wordpress.com. Submit your amazing stories to my Medium publication, Gratefully Yours.