New Writers, Bleed Your First Line To Make Sure We Keep Reading

Examples of first lines to stories and how they “bleed”

Maybe, you have a similar writing problem to me.

I sometimes struggle with writing the first lines of my stories. It’s like I am back in high school and struggling to talk with a cute girl I have a crush on.

The right words just won’t come out and I just stare into space.

I feel a lot of pressure to hook my reader’s attention, and I don’t want to write something that doesn’t create any emotional connection with my readers.

Do you ever feel this way?

First lines to stories can do this to you. You want to start with some kind of bang and try to say something powerful with only a few simple words.

Linda Caroll says we need to open hard in the first paragraph. Blogger James Altucher put it another way. He says we have to bleed that first line.

Bleeding your first line means to create some mystery to be unraveled that compels your readers to find the answer by reading the rest of your story.

But too often readers stop reading because the first lines are boring. We’ve all written snoozers on Medium that led to a finger swipe from our readers.

Here are some good examples of first lines and why they “bleed:”

Christmas blues

“I hate Christmas.”

Kiki Walter, “The Melancholy: My Love-Hate Relationship with Christmas”

Aren’t you curious why someone would hate Christmas? It’s short like some of the best first lines often tend to be, but it makes me want to keep on reading.

It bleeds.

It makes you wonder why they hate Christmas? What happened to Kiki long ago to make her hate Christmas? Or is her hate just one of many emotions?

You want to read and to find the answer from her simple opening line.

Sleepless in Seattle (or wherever Lu lives)

“I know I’m getting older. I know there are plenty of others in the world that can’t sleep well. But here I sit awake and reading (and now typing) and everyone else in the house is asleep.”

Lu Skerdoo, “Here I Sit, Awake at 4 A.M.”

A lot is going on in these first lines. Aging. Sleeplessness. Thinking about others with sleeping issues. Writing while others are sleeping.

I like stories that take a common situation like waking up at 4 a.m. and turn these moments into a story that takes an introspective look at ourselves.

Lu’s first lines beg questions: Why is the person awake? What are they going to do? Or thinking about? Where is she going with this story? It creates that sense of a mystery to be unraveled where you must keep reading to find out.

Homeless in Minnesota

“I was homeless in Minneapolis. I was staying in what they called “Transitional Housing.” I had a room by myself, with no running water or Internet access, I had to go downstairs to the computer room for that.”

Lawson Wallace, “I Started Writing in a Homeless Shelter”

Sometimes the trick to bleed the first line is not to be too fancy. That’s what Lawson does in this piece by being vulnerable about his time being homeless.

Most people would keep this a secret from others, but the fact that the writer shares it suggests he will share something he learned from his experience.

The details invite you into his life and daily routine as a homeless person. And you wonder what he learns about himself and the homeless people he meets.

A chicken story

My first week in the Medium Partner Program brought an amazing $1.55 in earnings because people read my stories! That may not seem like much to you, but to me, it is huge! Why? Because when those funds arrive I’m using them for the birds — my chickens.

J.R. Spiers, “An Amazing $1.55 After Only One Week in Medium’s Partner Program.”

First, J.R. takes a subject most Medium writers care about (making money online), and then he goes in an interesting direction I didn’t expect (a surprise) by saying how the $1.55 is “huge” when it comes to his … chickens.

His first lines have the secret sauce for me to a good story: having an unusual subject and unique perspective on his topic that stands out among all the flotsam that often washes up onshore in the portal known as online writing.

I don’t think a lot of writers care about their first lines (based on how boring they can be), but J.R. understands the magic his chickens add to a story and how they contribute a nice contrast to the human perspective towards money.

Grieving a beloved pet

Our lovable yellow Labrador and loyal companion of 13 years, Amos, is dead.

The worst part is, we killed him.

Sam Ochstein, “No One Wants to Make This Decision”

My instant reaction to Sam’s story is to think of the loss of my beloved cat, Scotty, and that’s what a good first line in a story is supposed to do.

They connect a reader to a common experience and emotion.

I included the second line to show how Sam took your interest and bled it to the next line of his story on the hard decision to euthanize an ailing old dog.

Do you see how Sam is taking us on a little journey here into the emotions we have towards our pets and it’s an irresistible story if you’ve ever had a pet die.

Wailing toddler

“Here’s a dumb thing a toddler cried about. He thought if he colored himself green, he would turn into the Incredible Hulk.”

Dominic Butwell, “Toddler Learns Lesson From a Green Crayon”

Okay, there is no link to this story. It was my son talking to me as I was writing this article and trying not to ignore him, so I thought if his line would bleed.

If this were the beginning of the story, I think it would hook me because it’s realistic and funny. I could see a toddler expecting himself to turn into the Hulk and crying when coloring himself green didn’t turn him into the Hulk.

The line makes me curious where the story is going. Is this going to be on fantasy thinking of young kids? Or toddler brain development? Or something else … maybe, my son has created a mystery to be unraveled with this line.

Recap

Here’s a recap of elements that make a first line bleed:

• They create a mystery to be unraveled
• They create questions you want answers for
• They establish some kind of emotional feeling
• They invite you into the details of someone’s life
• They compel you to want to continue reading

Take us on a journey

A good story isn’t just a dump of information. It is a story that can take a reader on a journey, and it must spark a reader’s interest from the start.

That’s what I got from studying these first lines from my fellow writers.

I hope this story helps you to write some great first lines in your stories.

Thank you for reading my story. You might also like my other stories:

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