How To Become Happy
Simple steps towards happiness
Most people have multiple sources of happiness, but they are usually only aware of a few of them and are sometimes unable to articulate them. When you ask people what makes them happy, they are more likely to name similar things, such as family, friendship, a career or professional activity, or divine forces.
According to Merriam-Webster, happiness can mean a variety of things:
- “a state of well-being and contentment”
- “a pleasurable or satisfying experience”
- “felicity, aptness”
- “Good fortune: prosperity” (obsolete definition).
Most Merriam-Webster definitions of happiness depict it as a fleeting emotion influenced by external factors (experience, prosperity, etc.). Nevertheless, is happiness solely defined by external factors? Isn’t it a long-term emotion as well? Aren’t we missing out on some of its other aspects?
Happiness is a long-term process. Although someone may experience short-term excitement, they may be unsatisfied with their overall life.
On the other hand, someone who is happy and enjoys a fulfilling life may as well face adversities and difficulties from time to time. The issue is whether or not they deal with those adversities, how they cope with them, and how much they affect their life.
More than a short-term excitement arising from external rewards, happiness depends on at least six factors:
1. Positive interpersonal relationships
According to a 2016 article based on a Harvard study, the strength of relationships is a relevant barometer of long-term health and well-being, which directly impact happiness.
Any type of relationship, including family, friendships, and romantic relationships, can bring us happiness if they are healthy and well-balanced. That is, we must freely contribute to those with whom we are connected and may as well receive assistance when we require it. Some people think their environment does not matter, but unfortunately, it does. Sometimes it can affect us in ways that we don’t expect.
During the Covid-19 lockdown, I remember feeling anxious and unhappy. Surprisingly, my loneliness was not the main problem, but the negative remote relationships that I maintained was.
The conversations I had with those people centered on the negative effects of Covid-19, which made me feel even worse about my situation. Once I realized this, I stopped having those negative remote conversations. As a result of not using social media for a while, my mood gradually improved, and I began to see ways out of my situation.
Being alone is sometimes preferable to being in toxic or unhealthy relationships. A bad relationship can drain your energy and leave you feeling desperate. Because regardless of how intelligent we believe we are, we are only as mentally strong as the people we allow to influence us.
As a result, pay attention to the people listed below: 1) Those with whom you spend the most time; 2) Those you reveal your secrets, accomplishments, and adversities to; 3) Those you seek advice and answers from. Otherwise, you’ll waste your energy trying to be happy while your heart has a hole through which all your energy escapes.
2. Physically healthy
When someone is extremely distressed, unhealthy, and anxious to the point where they cannot determine what is causing them to feel this way, they should begin taking care of their body. When they are in a better physical condition, they can focus on their mental health and environments.
Physical problems are often easier to detect because they will almost always manifest as expected. If a person doesn’t have enough sleep, they will at some point feel sleepy. If they don’t consume enough healthy food, they will become weak. If they eat too many carbohydrates and artificial sweeteners, they will become overweight in the long one or/and suffer from other physical diseases, like diabetes.
When it comes to the body, it is easier to determine the cause of a given pain or failure. Because while a physical problem can be caused by or linked to other mental or environmental issues, the physical problem has a more direct impact on the body than the mind has on the body. Furthermore, mental distress is frequently the effect of physical illness or deficiency.
As a result, we must maintain good habits that will help strengthen our bodies: eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, get enough sleep (from 6 to 8 hours per day for adults), and avoid unhealthy foods (artificial sweetness, etc.) and substances (cigarettes, alcohol, etc.).
3. Mental strength
Do not take your mental health for granted while caring for your body. Our bodies do not interfere with our minds; they complement them. That is, if you already take care of your body (exercise, sleep, diet, etc.), you only need to add a few more habits:
a. Relaxing activities (meditation, muscle relaxation, breathing exercises, etc.)
b. Enough rest and break time (do not overwork, have free time, etc.)
c. Positive messages (be aware of what content you consume on social media, which events you participate in, which people you usually talk to, etc.)
d. Self-control (avoid any form of addiction, don’t let your happiness depend on others, be autonomous, etc.)
e. Healthy boundaries (don’t do things that make you distressed, have your schedule, set aside time for yourself, etc.)
4. Meaningful purpose or cause
When someone has a relevant purpose, their life has meaning. As a result, they become more positive and attract others to them. As I previously stated, healthy relationships make us happy. However, good people will only want to be around you if you have something going on in your life, or at the very least, a project or purpose. It is not because those people are fake, but because no one wants to waste their time with negative people. If you can’t spread positive energy, you will probably be alone or in bad company.
Finding one’s purpose can be difficult for some people. If you are one of them, here are some strategies you can employ:
a. Pick something that you love practicing for fun that may give you money
As you practice something that you enjoy, you won’t feel anxious and depressed. That is, there is more room for productivity and happiness. Besides, you can also avoid long-term distress by earning money from this activity.
A videogame enthusiast can turn their passion into something very productive by learning how to create their videogames. They may end up developing a successful one.
b. Focus on resolving a personal problem that affects a large public
You can start an organization, blog, YouTube channel, podcast, a startup where you propose solutions for that problem. As it affects you personally, you are more likely to have determination. You can keep working even if you encounter difficulties along the way.
Furthermore, because the problem you are attempting to solve affects many people, chances are you will be able to profit financially and socially once your solutions are proven to be effective by a significant number of people.
c. Help someone or a group of people with their project
This is one of the simplest strategies, especially for young people with no or little experience. While assisting others, you can learn what it’s like to stick to a goal, the adversity that comes with it, and the coping strategies you can use.
Maybe you don’t have your own project, but you can help someone else with theirs and share their purpose, or you can find your micro purpose within a larger one. Furthermore, you may unexpectedly discover your purpose while working for others.
You can work as an intern, look for a job, join a startup, or become a volunteer or member of an organization. However, choose what is more convenient for your financial situation.
5. Having mature coping mechanisms
Resignation or stress will not help us overcome our difficulties. According to this paper, adversity will undoubtedly occur as we grow, and learning how to deal with it maturely is the best path to happiness.
Life is challenging. And the road to fulfillment is not easy. Everyone will face numerous challenges under normal circumstances. It is worst during crises because rare and complex problems arise.
It takes a lot of maturity to remain happy in the face of adversity. A mature coping mechanism allows a person to be autonomous, responsible, and realistic. They avoid unnecessary conflicts and risks, but when there are adversities, they deal with them while remaining calm. They understand how to balance work, personal responsibilities, and self-care. They don’t wait for others to make them happy; instead, they work on making themselves happy and sharing it to others.
6. Alignment with one’s moral or spiritual values
Everyone, whether religious or not, has a set of moral values. A person’s values may overlap with the social principles of their community, but those two types of values can also be distinct. Some common moral values are sincerity, fidelity, loyalty, respect, forgiveness, monogamy, etc.
A person who believes something and acts differently will feel guilty even if their actions are not considered offensive in society. Another person who does something terrible may feel satisfied and content because it is not part of their value system.
As a result, once you’ve identified what you value, try to align with it. Do what you believe is right and avoid actions or activities that make you feel bad. Otherwise, you will feel resentment and regret in the long run, which will not contribute to your long-term happiness.
Are you content with your life? Why (or why not)? What do you believe someone should do to be happy? Do you think that money can bring happiness? Why?
Stay tuned for our upcoming essay, which will discuss the relationship between money and happiness.