How To Take Care Of Yourself
Simple self-care tips and tricks
Most people always make at least one health-related resolution every new year. It could be to exercise more, eat healthier, or take care of their mental health.
Although including concern about our health in our resolutions can be interpreted as proof that we care about it, this also highlights a serious issue. We conceive self-care more as a destination than something on which we continuously rely. In fact, like most of our New Year resolutions, we often give up on our health as time goes by and return to our bad habits.
However, when it comes to people and pets that depend on us or even our goods, we conceive their care as an obligation, which is usually a reasonable approach. But why do we not apply the same principle to ourselves?
A person is more likely to skip breakfast than to fail to properly fuel their vehicle before leaving their house. That is because we know that the car cannot function without energy. But what about our bodies? Can we perform well if we do not eat appropriately? No! We cannot. Why do we frequently fail to take care of ourselves?
Here are some of the reasons why we frequently undervalue our self-care:
A. We unconsciously take our life and health for granted
If we approach life with as much innocence as possible, it is tempting to believe two things. Our lives are a gift or a complete accident. And they will end because of unpredictable and exogenous factors. However, if we only look at life through this lens, we are more likely to adopt one of the following negative attitudes: 1) waste of available resources and lack of discipline; 2) irresponsibility and resignation.
People who adopt the first behavior can live their lives to the fullest without worry. However, the problem with this attitude is that it leads to overly impulsive behaviors, such as addiction and social destruction, which can be detrimental to our well-being and the growth of society.
The second group is not particularly interested in self-actualization. And they frequently believe that the predetermination logic applies to everything as if their decisions have no or little impact. As a result, they tend to avoid interfering with their natural life journey and accept events as they occur.
The issue with this group is vast and varies depending on their backgrounds and environments. If they are always in good company — which is uncommon — they may be able to enjoy life without much nuisance. However, when they face difficulties, as they should, they are prone to giving up before attempting to solve those problems, therefore living in continuous bitterness.
Furthermore, those people may refuse to take care of themselves because they believe they will unquestionably be healthy if that is their fate. They may even engage in risky behaviors but always expect someone might rescue them from the consequences.
B. We did not learn to prioritize ourselves
It appears natural to teach our children to be kind and courteous. However, we frequently undervalue the importance of self-care. We often believe that teaching children and adolescents technical hygiene and nutrition procedures is sufficient. But self-care is much more than that. It is both individual and contextual.
As we reach adolescence, we face many challenges concerning our appearance, style, personality, sexuality, and self-worth, to name a few. That is the pivotal moment when most people realize that self-care is about more than just our physical health. It comprises our mental state, environments, and so on. That is when we may also begin to believe that being kind and well-mannered is insufficient. We should also know how to be compassionate toward ourselves, stand up for who we are and what we believe in, and to respect our boundaries. If we do not, we are more likely to go through awful experiences, engage in unwanted relationships, hate who we are, and become resentful.
Even after adolescence, many people fail to take care of themselves. It is not because they lack knowledge or intelligence but because they have instilled self-hatred or self-abandonment in themselves.
Others may constantly exploit them, and they may feel pressured to engage in awful behaviors to please their surroundings.
Despite their efforts and dedication to helping others, they may feel unloved, unhappy, and unhealthy. Because they overlook at least two factors: First, our environments often treat us the same way we treat ourselves. Second, we can only reflect and accept feelings and emotions that we think we deserve.
If we never feel respected, it will be difficult to respect others without resentment. When our beliefs and thoughts are violated, it is difficult to defend the ideas of others without feeling like losing who we are. We are more likely to be judgmental if we feel judged and criticized for everything we do.
If we are the first to judge, criticize, disrespect, and give up on ourselves, our environment will automatically understand that we only want those emotions and feelings. Therefore, they will not make enough effort to show love or compassion to us even though they might feel those emotions for us.
When we come from a place of lack of compassion and love, we should firstly take care of ourselves before asking for love.
C. We do not see ourselves as a separate entity
We are social beings. However, considering ourselves exclusively as social beings may trap us into toxic and dangerous environments or give us a distorted conception of who we are as individuals. Sometimes, we need to disconnect from our social group for the sake of our self-care and fulfillment.
When a person comes from a broken and toxic family, grows up in a violent neighborhood, and attends a poor school, they have little or no opportunity to practice self-love as children and teenagers. They may have so many negative models and influences that resentment is the most natural attitude to adopt. But some people overcame this by focusing on themselves rather than seeking social stimulation from their surroundings.
Although that is an extreme case, many people can somewhat relate. To love and appreciate who we are, we must sometimes silence the noise that comes from our environments. They are often full of insecurity, generational self-hatred, and systemic biases. We won’t be able to see the good in ourselves if we only look at our lives through those lenses.
On the other hand, our happiness and mental health cannot be solely determined by how others treat us. Life is a difficult journey. People we care about will eventually abandon or even betray us. We will be criticized, judged, and misunderstood. We will face so many challenges on our own that we will be unable to keep up if we do not love and care for ourselves.
So, what is the solution?
It is preferable to think of self-care as a journey rather than a goal. As we grow, evolve, or change environments, we should also adapt our self-care to those changes.
Although some basic self-care procedures seem universal, such as good hygiene, a healthy diet, appropriate exercise, and adequate sleep, we cannot underestimate contextual and individual factors.
Before assessing someone’s commitment to self-care, consider their financial and material resources, their knowledge of their body and mind, their knowledge of their environmental resources, and the quality of their overall environment. Because only to the extent of our resources and knowledge can we care for ourselves. And how we treat ourselves is always influenced by how much we rely on our environments.
It is rare to come across someone whose life situation is entirely accidental. If you think about your past experiences and read and listen to enough historical events, you might realize that our actions do have consequences. Therefore, we can’t expect life to be bright if we don’t put in enough effort.
Some people may need to work harder than others, but one thing we can count on is our efforts to strive for the best. This applies to both our bodies and mind. Taking care of oneself does not ensure one’s safety. However, if we do not take care of ourselves, we will almost certainly suffer the consequences.
Therefore, if you were never taught to take care of yourself, it’s time for you to start implementing it into your daily routines by using the following simple tools:
- Pay attention to your body.
- Make your mental health a top priority.
- Establish healthy boundaries.
- Surround yourself with people who respect your beliefs and boundaries.
- Be kind to yourself, including your past self.
- Instead of dwelling on the past, imagine your future self.
- Avoid patterns and situations that may lead to unhealthy habits.
Do you have any other ideas for how we can incorporate self-care into our daily lives? Please tell us a little about them. Let’s stay in touch if you want to learn more about self-care.
If you want to learn more about self-care, here are some of my previous posts: