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May</li><li>preparing an application for a coaching certification</li></ul>All of these tasks were stimulated by the productivity urge.I was overloading myself. Also, I noted with more than a hint of regret that many of these quests to be productive were putting undue pressure on others to be productive too.It was time to be less productive.I set about culling my list.<h1 id="47d5">Forgiveness</h1>Let’s be real for a second. There’s a pandemic out there. We’re all in quarantine. A lot of people have lost their jobs and even those of us lucky to still be working have all but lost the structure to our days and weeks.News cycles are punishing. Everything takes more effort. Energy levels are low. Mood can be low too. It is not a time to overload: it is a time for self-care.That can actually mean doing less. And that is ok.I began cancelling things. I cancelled the webinar on remote working. My friend who was organising it with me immediately said thank you.I postponed the second work-related webinar. Two work colleagues agreed it was a good idea.Launching the new Medium Publication is still an ambition, but I am taking my foot off the gas with that. It can happen later in the year. I forgive myself.I am also taking the pressure off myself to write at all. I still get huge enjoyment out of writing for Serious Scrum, but my inspiration is lower, and that is ok: it always ebbed and flowed. I forgive myself for my lower rate of publication.

Illumination is a new project for me. I have no idea how much I will write here and, you know what, I forgive myself for that uncertainty as well.Writing this feels confessional and unusual for me. It is not how I normally write. But it feels good. As I write, I forgive myself for over-sharing.I hope others will recognise something in my story and perhaps begin to forgive themselves for doing less too.<h1 id="87bd">Distraction</h1>It’s probably fair to point out: I didn’t cancel everything.The meet-up in May was a request from a friend and the topic is one I’ve written ab

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out already, so I’m going to continue with that. My friend did ask me this weekend if I was still ok to do it, and I had an opportunity to say no. For once, I didn’t automatically dismiss the idea of saying no. I forgive myself for thinking about saying no.Also, I continue to be inspired to apply for a coaching certification. This is a long-term ambition of mine, and there is no time-sensitivity to the application process. I choose to take that pressure off myself now, and I also choose to forgive myself for taking my own sweet time with it.I allow myself these distractions because they are meaningful to me.Also, without the overload of other tasks, I can do these at a pace that makes more sense to me.<figure id="20f5"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/0*IiUm2PXzVt6r4zhg"><figcaption>Flight Safety Instructions</figcaption></figure><h1 id="e2b3">Moving forward, one step at a time</h1>You do not have to be productive.You need to care for yourself so that you can care for others. Watch out for the to-do list and that feeling of being a little overwhelmed. It can creep up on you.Forgive yourself for taking on less. It’s ok.Forgive yourself for your low energy. It’s ok.Forgive yourself for your low mood or for those days when you don’t want to do anything at all.It’s ok to not be ok.Flight safety instructions tell us:<blockquote id="a104">“If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first, and then assist the other person.” (Source: <a href="https://activerain.com/blogsview/2535480/put-your-own-oxygen-mask-on-first">Active Rain</a>)</blockquote>Self-care means that, rather than feeling pressured to be more productive, you might need to go out for a walk instead.By taking on less and looking after yourself, you will put your figurative oxygen mask on. This will help you to breathe better.First things first. Breathe.If you can, cancel the things you don’t need to do right away.It’s ok. You can forgive yourself.</article></body>

How to be HAPPY ???

Every available study of happy people suggests that happy people are more social. They physically spend time around other people and they tend to really prioritize time with their friends and family members.

Our lack of social connection really comes from the fact that we have this strong intuition that it kind of doesn’t matter. We just systematically misestimate how good social connection will feel. Instead of scrolling through social media, use your phone to actually be a phone and call someone that you care about.

The simple acts of connecting in real life, ideally, but especially in real time, can significantly improve well-being.

Another behavior that we know really affects our happiness is doing nice things for other people. Trying to become a little bit more other-oriented. This is a spot where we have seriously incorrect intuitions. We often think that self-care is the path to happiness.

But the evidence really suggests that happy people are much more other-oriented.

They’re donating more money to charity.

They’re spending their time volunteering for others.

They give more compliments.

Another way that we can rewire our happiness is to change our thought patterns.

Do we have a mindset of paying attention to all the negative things, all the hassles in life, or do we have a mindset that focuses more on the blessings?

Most of evidence suggests that happy people focus on the blessings. If you tend not to do that naturally, you can change that thought pattern. One fantastic way to do this is simply to just write down three to five things you’re grateful for every night. And this practice can improve your well-being in as little as two weeks.

Another thought pattern that we can engage to feel happier is paying attention to the good stuff in life.

One of the reasons our good circumstances don’t necessarily lead to happiness is we tend not to notice them. We’ll buy a delicious latte that we should be paying attention to and savoring and really enjoying, but we just kind of chug it while we’re checking our email. The act of savoring is moving towards paying attention to the good things in life a little bit more.

A final way we can rewire our behavior is to make changes in our body.

We often forget that bodies are connected to minds, but they really are. And that means that a really quick way to change how we’re feeling emotionally is simply moving our body a little bit more.

Exercise is intricately connected to our mental health. And it’s important to note that this isn’t like running a marathon. This is simply just getting your body to move around a little bit more. Even as much as like 20 minutes a day can really improve your well-being.

They’re really useful for moving from not feeling so good at the time to flourishing a little bit more. This is not necessarily the tools that you might use if you’re facing a really serious mental disorder.

Sometimes people think like, oh, I’m suicidally ideating. I should do a gratitude list. Or so it’s like, no, no, no. That’s an acute emergency.And you should really get a special, more acute kind of care.You should see a psychotherapist.

We’re just yet another tool in the toolkit that we can all use to be improving our own well-being.

We’re going to have moments of anger.

We’re going to have moments of sadness.

We’re going to have moments of fear or frustration or overwhelm that’s part of being human.

You might need to make changes. You might need to reach out to a friend.

You just need to be able to regulate them in positive ways.

Then we really can significantly change our levels of happiness.

Anyway, if you enjoyed this article and want to know more about happiness in life…plz consider this book The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama.

Read some related content here:

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In this world of romance between a man and a woman or man man, woman woman?

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