How To Attract The Right Person Into Your Life
Don’t let your impatience make romantic decisions for you.
It’s a question as old as time.
“How do you attract the right person into your life?” Some people say “it just happens” or “they’ll come when the timing is right,” but I like to think there’s a more logical approach to attracting the right person into your life.
It’s kind of like making money; you don’t “accidentally” get wealthy. You work hard for it. Similar to relationships, the person who is meant for you won’t just waltz into your life.
One of my close friends has been seeking out a relationship for the last few months, and after sitting down and having a conversation about what she’s doing, it made me realize that not many people understand that finding the right person all starts with the relationship you have with yourself.
With that being said, here are a few things that helped me attract the right person into my life and will hopefully help you in your journey of finding love.
Date yourself and think about what you want in a partner.
You have to truly experience single life to attract the right person to you. This means letting go of your dating apps, taking time completely for yourself to grow, learn, and figure out what you want out of a partner.
Prior to taking a dating hiatus, I dated pretty much any guy who paid me enough attention or I felt attracted to. I didn’t know what I wanted, and frankly, I didn’t even know what the heck I was doing.
There’s no course for dating in your teens. Nobody tells you what the point of it is. I grew up believing dating should lead to marriage, so I looked at every guy I dated as a potential husband.
I overlooked whether they’d make a good lifelong friend, a good father, a good lover, or even a kind human being to spend my days with.
Being truly single allowed me to take a step back and learn more about myself, who I am, what I like, and what I really need out of a partner.
If you want to attract the right person into your life, spend a season being completely and utterly single. Date your damn self. I’m telling you, it’s the best thing you’ll ever do for yourself.
Identify what you don’t want in a partner and stick to it.
In the midst of your single season, consider what you don’t want in a partner. These are your dealbreakers that you’re going to learn to actually stand by.
Travel back in time and evaluate your past relationships. What did you not like? What made you frustrated?
Everyone has dealbreakers when it comes to relationships, yet few people take the time to actually acknowledge them or even stick to them.
One of my close friends has always said one of her dealbreakers is someone who doesn’t have a good and solid career. Yet the last few guys she’s dated have been “music producers” or “entrepreneurs” living in their mom’s house with nothing to their name.
Don’t think you’ll magically change someone because of how much you like them. If a person lacks ambition and drive, and you have ample amounts of it, staying in that relationship because you think you’ll rub off on them isn’t going to help you in any way. In fact, it’ll only drag you down to their level.
It’s not your job to fix anyone.
Don’t let someone compromise your values or integrity. If someone you’re seeing exhibits behavior that is one of your dealbreakers, believe them the first time. They’re showing you who they really are.
Work on being the best version of yourself.
How do you attract someone great? Easy. You have to be great yourself. If you work on being the best version of yourself, it’ll help you attract someone who is also the best version of themselves.
Focus on improving yourself, make yourself worthy of the type of person you want to be with. Make self-improvement a priority in your daily life. You attract what you are, which means the better you become, the better you’ll attract.
This is why it’s so important to go through a season of being single so that you’re able to solely focus on yourself and embrace who you are and figure out what your path in life is.
I wouldn’t have met my boyfriend had I not taken a step back from dating and honed in on improving myself. When I think about the person I used to be and the person I am now, I have no doubt in my mind that the old me wouldn’t have crossed paths with my partner.
So invest in yourself, develop yourself, and educate yourself because seeing someone who is whole, happy, educated, and living their best life is extremely attractive.
Don’t waste your days waiting for The One. Become The One yourself.
Don’t let your impatience make romantic decisions for you.
Don’t pay attention to people who you know aren’t the right fit for you.
We’ve all been there — investing into people we know there’s no long-term future with, either on your part or theirs. It might be out of loneliness, boredom, or maybe a small part of you thinks if you give it just another chance, it’ll work out.
It doesn’t work that way. You can’t let your impatience make romantic decisions for you. If you want a great partner, wait for a great partner.
You have to make space in your life and stop giving your attention to people who aren’t in alignment with you and your goals/aspirations/beliefs/morals, etc.
So many people are tempted to ‘settle’ for people in the hopes of being able to change them or rub off on them, but in reality, that never happens.
Trust the process.
I’ve always believed that words have so much power. Maybe that’s why I became a writer. While I know, many people struggle to put their trust in something they can’t see yet, doing so is key.
Every situation you experience and every heartbreak leads you closer to meeting the right person.
The problem is when you don’t learn your lesson and repeat the same toxic cycles over and over, expecting a different result.
When you tell yourself you’ll never meet someone great, or you continuously date the same types of individuals who you know are toxic, then you set that standard for yourself.
It’s only when you choose to trust the process, trust yourself, let go of the toxic partners, trust that you do deserve love, and trust that you deserve better that it actually ends up happening for you.
Trust the process. Trust that being single can be incredibly beneficial and empowering. Trust that you need time and space to understand who you are and what you want out of a partner, and the only way to learn those things is by pursuing yourself first.
With that being said, if you want to attract the right person, here are a few things to keep in mind:
- First off, date yourself. Do you even know what you want out of a partner?
- Secondly, do you know what your dealbreakers are?
- Work on being your best self. Don’t waste your days waiting for The One. Become The One yourself.
- Don’t let your impatience make romantic decisions for you.
- Finally, trust the process.
