How to Alleviate Fear When We Have to Go to the Dentist During a Pandemic

Let’s be brave together.

When a scheduled dental appointment appears on our calenders, we find ourselves remembering our history in dentists' offices. Perhaps, we started our dental journey with a pediatric dentist who gave us laughing gas, played Gumby on the television, and gave us a toy from the treasure chest on the way out.

Or, perhaps, we didn’t regularly visit the dentist as children. Maybe our memories run back to the red tablets visiting dentists would distribute in elementary school so we could all stare at our teeth in fascination or horror to see which areas we missed when we brushed.

Dentist visits surface different memories for different people. I grew up with the mindset that visiting the dentist was something one did, once a year, and checked off a list. Not really scary; more a necessary inconvenience.

Over the years, I haven’t done the best job taking care of my teeth. I should floss more than twice a year and brush more than once a day…I retained a baby tooth into my forties without realizing it. Dentists often ask if I had braces.

Yes. Then I lost my retainer and didn’t replace it. In college. Yes, that’s why my teeth are crooked.

I didn’t have any cavities until adulthood — when I was pregnant. I think my first cavities were filled at 29 or 30. I’ve had a few more since then. Although, it’s not a pleasant experience, I’ve certainly endured worse. I think the drilling noise of the instruments, like nails screeching against a chalkboard, is a large part of the uncomfortable and visceral experience of going to the dentist — for me.

Today, in America, we are in Month 7 of recognizing the COVID-19 pandemic. This afternoon, my two children and I have an appointment for teeth cleaning at 2:10. I don’t normally like going to the dentist but I also don’t have anxiety like I have today.

My anxiety has been so bad that my ten-year-old daughter is the one who coaxed me into making our appointments, after canceling everything when COVID-19 surfaced.

Kristen Bottger and Leon F Seltzer, Ph.D. of Psychology Today say, “dental-related anxiety affects an estimated 15 percent of patients,” and lists these common concerns:

“It’s going to hurt

Bad experience in the past

Feelings of helplessness or loss of control

Embarrassment about your oral health

Anxiety about cost”

Yes, yes, indeed…

When I woke up, I thought in dread, Today we go to the dentist. I made my coffee and thought about the scolding I’d get for acidifying my aging teeth. I tried to read and write — my focus was lacking. I went back to bed before 10:00 am. I turned on Emily in Paris. I’d read it’s terrible and binge-able. I see what they’re saying. It’s now 5 until 12pm.

The heavy metal ball rests in the pit of my stomach. I do something I don’t usually do and ask my 10-year-old if she’s nervous? No, mom. You’re not a two-year-old!

Indeed, but I am dreading this visit.

Besides, the predictable scolding, I’ll hear if I have more cavities, if our children have more cavities. Braces will be mentioned. This all costs money, even with good dental insurance. So, there’s that kind of anxiety.

But, underlying the obvious anxiety of possible pain, chastisement, and unpredictable financial expenses, is the anxiety of walking into a doctor’s office for the first time during a pandemic.

I search the article for how to ease my anxiety. The authors close by suggesting those of us with mild dental anxiety try practicing gratitude.

“feel gratitude for your teeth and for your access to good care. Research shows that people who practice gratitude are more optimistic, healthier, get better sleep, and, in turn, experience less anxiety.”

I remind myself of the reassurances I’ve had over the past few weeks.

On the phone, when I set up the appointments, Dr. Hanna assured me 75% of the patients will be us. They air out the patient area for fifteen minutes in between visits.

Relatives have assured me that their dental visits have been smooth sailing. They’ve worn lots of PPE (Personal Protective Equipments) and taken lots of precautions.

And, I acknowledge my gratitude for my full set of teeth (plus one) and dental insurance.

I watched more Emily in Paris until my alarm rang at 1:45pm. I hollered at the kids, “Brush your teeth, get dressed, find a mask, go to the bathroom. We’re leaving in fifteen minutes.”

Grumpily considering I needed to get dressed, I left on my sweatpants and traded out my t-shirt for a bra and sweater. I brushed my teeth, found my missing shoe.

We got out the door on time. I hadn’t felt so nervous for a long, long time.

I wondered if we were supposed to wait in the parking lot or call ahead. The kids and I masked up and decided to walk into the lobby.

The two other patients in reception were seated and wearing masks. There was a table barricading us from the receptionist. We were asked a series of health questions. Our temperatures and oxygen levels were taken by the friendly receptionist.

My nerves started to calm down. The hygienist was ready for me immediately and let the kids come back to my room. On the way, we saw the office puppy, Gracie, with pink paws from her first birthday celebration. Gracie, turns out, loves kids.

Gracie entertained the children while my teeth got their cleaning. It hurt a little bit, but not terribly. I expressed my anxiety to the hygienist, who’s very kind. She made me look up at her, wearing a Darth Vadar style helmet/shield with eye goggles underneath. “Dr. Hanna’s taking lots of precautions,” she reassured me.

And, all of a sudden, I was relieved to be sitting in the dentist’s chair. This was one of the most normal things I’d felt since pre-pandemic times. In fact, having my cavities filled in February was one of my last appointments before we were beginning to understand the implications of COVID-19.

Then there was some bad news, “Do you have acid reflux?” the dental hygienist asked.

“Yes.”

“Your fillings have been eaten away at already.”

I sighed and explained I’d taken medicine. I’m managing my diet now, but coffee has slipped back in. I’ve gotten out of the habit of wearing my nightguard. Kindly, she reminded me to take care of all these things — and to brush and floss, of course. I reclined in the chair, staring at my son, who was looking back at me and reassuring me I’d done a good job.

This is what it feels like to age, I was thinking to myself. This is when my body starts its obvious deterioration. This is when I can’t neglect myself as I did in the past and get away with it. And, I allowed this to just be an observation.

Recently, I learned something about habits — breaking them isn’t necessarily helpful. Instead, associating something pleasant with substituted behavior helps seal in new, replacement habits.

One of my mentors taught me this with wearing my nightguard. I had been coming down on myself for not doing what I “should” every night. She pointed out this puts myself in a fight against myself and isn’t very useful. She suggested I inhale the aroma of eucalyptus essential oil before cleaning my nightguard in the morning and before putting it in in the evening to associate a positive experience with building the habit.

And, sure enough — it helped. Then, I stopped with the ritual and quit wearing my mouthguard. Instead of chastising myself, I will start the ritual again. I will not set myself to fight with myself.

I will work on accepting this is what the latter part of life entails, this great letting go.

The good news was for the kids. My daughter had just the two cavities we already knew about and my son had none. I scheduled appointments for the kids this Thursday morning to get the two cavities filled and sealant put on their back molars as a preventative.

This time, I’m looking forward to escorting them. Of course, I won’t be in the dentist’s chair.

Now, that I’ve faced this thing I’d been avoiding for so long, I feel confident going back.

The takeaway? Yes, we should go to the dentist during the pandemic, if we are comfortable with the precautions being taken at the dentist’s office. Use the above tips for easing anxiety. You’ll more than likely be glad you quit putting off that appointment.

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