How the Tower Tarot Made Me Feel Last Night

The Tower is sometimes interpreted as meaning danger, crisis, sudden change, destruction, higher learning, and liberation
I was shaken awake last night from an onslaught of unpleasant thoughts. Sensations, fearsome and frustrating, caused me to bump and shiver in my lying place. The covers were a mess, wet (not what you think — just a bunch of sweat). The room around the bed was small, though no complaints here; it’s reminiscent of a lair. There was that funny feeling in the gut some call “heart” that wouldn’t let me go. Something needed to change …
The Tarot said it would be like this — well, minus the burning tower. I remember that tall thing on fire; could almost smell the smoke, sense the lulling warmth of its flames. Ironically, I was lying in candlelight that night. Beyond that, on the card was drawn crumbling, earthquakes and storms. The scene was a mess, and new change was afoot to be formed.
That’s the way she explained it — my student, my teacher — she said moving to this country would bring change, inevitably. A change so big, it would shift the ground, rattle the windows, and darken the sky. Thunder would roar and hail would pour, figuratively I guess, but we did catch some rain. The showers hailed down, and there’ve been moments where the ground feels like it’s slipping away underneath.
Her card proposed to me, the XVI, was given to the path I eventually chose. It’s havoc, it’s chaos, but far from a sentence. More like a warning for the uncertain times being lived.
She did not try to scare me or convey some final verdict. The cards helped decipher truth; for this, I trusted her readings. My student, my teacher — she introduced this sensitivity. A bad vibe, malignant energy, that settled over me last night. That’s when I got up, blew out the candle, then I knew my choices needed to be set. Here on ground level, a few feet over sea level, but my Tower shakes and bends like old knees. Unstable, maybe now, maybe forever, but this is the reality of the decisions I made.
Moving here is an adventure, it is growth, it is life spewing out into all known directions. Whether it’s right or wrong, I tend not to wonder, for it’s done and there’s no reliving old lives. Sometimes the ground here shakes, I can feel the flames — it is California, for God’s sake! But whether things start storming for the good or the bad, I remember the glossy image of that Tower she read.
The smoking, crumbling, burning, resilience of that mighty building, never fallen, quite rugged, still standing.
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During a Tarot reading with an English student of mine (she was also a professional Tarot reader, among other impressive occupations), we read over the concept of whether I should move from Brazil to the U.S., my home country. We covered various questions dealing with different scenarios and concerns, taking into account what I truly wanted and what was truly necessary. For the concept of moving back to the U.S., my student pulled the Tower card. She expressed what the imagery represents, very similar to the description at the top of this page. Then she left me to make my own interpretation based on the specifics of my situation. There would definitely be a coming apart, a burning down, and a reawakening. This is the process I am in now.
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